“Yes, I’m coming up.”
I squealed into the phone and slammed my feet up and down on the balcony floor in my excitement. “Thank God. I can’t wait to have you here!”
“Me either,” she said, sounding happy and upbeat before her tone changed. “So, I ran into Nick last night.”
My heart lurched straight into my throat. The simple mention of his name still affected me, made me feel . . . something. Even though I wished I didn’t, I missed him. It was easier trying to pretend I was fine than accept the reality that I wasn’t when I really wanted to be.
“Where?”
“At the bar near campus. He was so drunk, Jess. God, he wouldn’t shut up about you. He asked me a thousand questions. And he looked like hell.”
“Good,” I said, then immediately regretted it. “I don’t mean that.”
“Sure you do.”
I sighed. “It’s sick that I want him to hurt, but I’m hurting too, Rach. Still. And I want him to want me back. Why doesn’t he want me back?” I squeezed my eyes shut as a breeze blew over me.
“He had a one-track mind last night, and it was all you. I’m convinced he’s not over you. He asked if you were happy, how you liked your classes, if you were dating anyone, when you were coming back. God, he wouldn’t shut up, and I stopped answering him and told him if he wanted to know so bad, he could call you himself and ask. That shut him up real quick.”
I bit back a laugh. This wasn’t funny. My broken heart was no laughing matter. “Did he say he’d call?”
“No. He walked away.”
“I don’t understand him at all,” I admitted, feeling defeated.
“Me either sometimes.”
“Trying to figure him out gives me a headache.”
Despite that, I loved hearing all of this. Knowing that Nick had asked about me filled me with hope. Maybe we weren’t doomed. Maybe there was a future for us somewhere down the line.
“Before he walked away, though, Jess, he was crazy. Relentless. He forced me to answer one question, and he wouldn’t let go of my arm until I did.”
“What question?” I asked, on pins and needles waiting for her answer.
Rachel huffed into the phone. “He wanted to know if you were happy.”
I clutched my free hand against my chest. “What’d you tell him?”
“I told him you hated it and it sucked, but you were doing what you had to for your future.”
Pursing my lips, I nodded in agreement, even though she couldn’t see me. “What’d he say to that?”
“Nothing. That’s when he dropped my arm and walked away. But I chased after him.”
My heart raced inside my chest. “What? You did? Why?”
“Because I had that stupid poker chip in my purse, and I remembered only after he started practically running away. I pulled it out and gave it to him.”
My heart stopped racing, stopped beating completely. I held my breath, pain stabbing me in the gut. “What’d he say?”
“Nothing, but the expression on his face almost made me throw up. He looked like I’d kicked his puppy into oncoming traffic.”
“But he didn’t say anything?”
“No. He shoved it in his pocket and left. But I swear, Jess, he looked like he was about to fucking cry.”
“Yeah, right. Nick Fisher cry?” I fought back a sick laugh as my heart allowed the familiar ache of his loss to return. I honestly hated that we weren’t together. “I don’t believe it.”
Rachel let out a sad sigh. “I wouldn’t believe it either if I hadn’t seen it.”
I sat there with conflicted emotions swirling around inside me like the sea, pulling me under. I didn’t know which way was up, or how to break through to the surface. I was engulfed in an ocean of Nick, and assumed I probably always would be.
There was no getting over this guy.
Broken Silence
Jess
After hanging up with Rachel, I sucked in a long breath and headed back inside, wondering if my new roommate would want to actually leave the apartment for once and grab some food with me. I had to get the hell away from my own thoughts, and needed a distraction.
“Brooke?” I yelled from behind her closed door.
I waited, expecting to hear her shout back at me, but her door opened instead.
“Hey, Jess.”
“I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner or something?” I almost suggested going to a bar to drown my misery, but figured she’d never agree to that.
When she stayed silent for a beat longer, I added, “I really need to get out of here, and I could use the company.” It was more than I’d intended to say, but if I didn’t do a little extra prodding, I’d be eating alone. Again.
“Are you okay?” She tilted her head to the side, causing her long bangs to fall into her eyes.
I nodded. “I will be. Are you hungry?”
A soft smile lit up her face. “Yeah. Let me grab a sweatshirt.”
Relieved, I ran into my room to grab my own sweatshirt before meeting her in the living room. The evenings in Northern California got pretty cold. Even if it was eighty degrees during the day, which it rarely was, a chilly wind kicked up out of nowhere each night, making the need to cover up a necessity.
“Where should we go?” she asked as she tucked her hands into her front pockets.
“Um . . .” Shit. I hadn’t really thought that far ahead since I’d assumed she’d say no. “Craving anything in particular?”