Instead, my mind churned with a million questions. Would he show up? How far away was he right now? Did he really love me?
My stomach rolled as the questions refused to stop. Questions that I could easily have the answers to if I dialed Nick’s number or sent him a text. But I was too scared to hear that he was still in So Cal, or that he didn’t remember calling me the night before. Too scared to hear it confirmed that he wasn’t on his way. My heart couldn’t take that reality. So I sat alone in my room and waited, like the coward I was.
By four in the afternoon, the realization that he wasn’t coming started to set in. The disappointment was far greater than I ever expected it to be, and I leaned back on my bed and reached for my phone.
“Chica,” Rachel shouted into my ear as music blared in the background.
“Rach?” I said softly.
“Jess? What’s wrong?” she asked, and the music stopped suddenly.
“Are you busy? Can you talk?”
“I can talk. I was just rocking out while I was cleaning. What’s up?”
I wasn’t sure what to say or where to start, so I decided to start at the beginning. “Nick called me last night.”
“Last night? And you’re just telling me this now? It’s after four, Jess! The hell?”
“I know. I wanted to call you, but I was so confused.”
She breathed a laugh into the phone. “What’d he do now? Oh, was it about the poker chip? I bet it was about the chip, wasn’t it? How pissed was he?”
She started talking a mile a minute the way she always did, and it made me miss her even more than usual.
“He mentioned the chip, but that wasn’t really why he called.”
“Jess, you’re being weird and cryptic, and I need you to get to the point because I’m literally dying here. I can feel myself withering away while I wait for you to tell me what the hell Nick Fisher said to you last night!” She yelled this last part so loudly, I had to move the phone away from my ear.
I waited a beat before blurting, “He said he was coming up here to take me home.”
“He what?” she asked, her tone completely incredulous.
“He said he was bringing me home, that he knew I wasn’t happy. He said I didn’t belong up here. That I belonged with him.”
For once, Rachel was quiet on the other end of the line.
Too quiet. For too long.
“Rach?”
“I’m here. I’m processing.”
Shit. If Rachel needed time to process, then how the hell was I supposed to feel?
“I can’t believe he called you and said that,” she finally said.
“I know. And I’m just sitting here like an idiot, waiting for him to show up at my front door so I can jump into his arms like some fairy-tale princess.”
“Tell me you didn’t start packing,” she said in a sarcastic tone, and I let out a small laugh.
“Yeah, right. I haven’t packed a thing. I can’t move home in the middle of the semester—” I started to say before correcting myself. “I can’t move back home at all until I graduate.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” She sucked in a breath and released it slowly. “Okay, so, what else did he say? He said he was coming up today and bringing you home?”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Uh-huh. He might have also said he loved me.”
“Jess, stop. This is too much craziness for one phone call. My little Latin heart can’t take anymore.”
This caused a real laugh to escape from my chest. “Your heart can’t take it? How do you think mine feels right now, knowing that he isn’t coming?”
“You wanted him to come?”
“Of course I don’t want him to come. But he called and said he was, and I got all confused about that. I mean, it would have been a nice gesture, right? Him showing up here, all knight in shining armor, to take me home.”
“It would have been something, all right,” she said in a tight voice.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m getting pissed, Jess. Which is what you should be.”
“Did I mention he was drunk?”
“No, you didn’t mention that.” She sighed. “Still, he shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“Will you think less of me if I tell you that I liked hearing them?”
“No. Because if it were me and Nick Fisher, I would have liked hearing them too.”
“Really?” Her admission made me feel a thousand times better about my reaction, made me feel less weak.
“Really. But I don’t like that he did all that. It’s not fair to you.”
“Ha! I said the same thing.”
“I’m sure he really cared,” she said with a groan.
“Like I said.” I paused. “Drunk.”
“Like I always say.” She mimicked my dramatic pause. “Selfish prickface.”
I laughed. “Since when do you always say that about Nick?”
“Since now. Since right fucking now.”
She was pissed, and no one was safe when Rachel got truly angry. She would lash out at the cause of her fury until they apologized or righted their wrongs.
Nerves suddenly shot through me. “Don’t talk to him, Rachel. Don’t say anything. This isn’t your battle, okay?” When she didn’t respond, I said, “I’m asking you nicely. Please. This isn’t on you.”