“Right, hallway traffic.”
On the back of the wheelchair there was a little bag with sunglasses, ChapStick, sunblock, and hand sanitizer. “Are these yours?” I said, holding the black Wayfarer shades out to Adam.
“Yep.” He put them on and smiled wide at Leah as we passed her on our way into the hallway. “Bye, Leah, see you in a bit,” Adam said.
18. Circumstances
I pushed him quickly to the elevator without making it too obvious that we were doing something wrong. The adrenaline rush, on top of my mounting emotions, was overwhelming but gave me a high that felt a lot like love, though I couldn’t afford to let my mind go there.
Adam didn’t speak. When I reached my Honda in the parking structure, I was thankful that no one was around to see me carting him away in his hospital gown. I pushed him up to the passenger door. In a hushed tone, I said, “You wanna come to my house with me so I can get some things?”
“Yeah, I’d love to,” he whispered back. His enthusiasm was sweet. I was worried about taking Adam, but I couldn’t leave him. When Leah said they were just trying to make him comfortable, I knew they weren’t really preventing anything; they were just managing him toward death. He didn’t need to be stuck there. I couldn’t believe that he was his mother’s only child and she was just going to leave him there to die alone.
As I helped him into the car, I said, “Has anyone come to see you?”
“Oh yeah.”
I tried to pull his seat belt across but he gripped my hand. “I can do this myself.”
“Okay.” I rushed to the back and opened the trunk. The wheelchair collapsed easily, but it weighed forty pounds and was awkward to lift. I hoisted it into the trunk and dropped it in with a thunk before quickly shutting the hatch.
When I got into the driver’s seat, I turned the key and was blasted by the stereo. I had forgotten that it was turned all the way up, blaring The Black Keys.
“Agh!” Adam yelled, jumping an inch out of his seat.
I turned down the music. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
“I’m already dying of cancer, Charlotte. You trying to give me a heart attack, too?”
“I’m really sorry.”
We both laughed. Adam glanced in the back seat and spotted a Padres hat that Seth had given to me. “You a Padres fan?” Adam asked.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Cool. I like baseball. Maybe we can go to a game, you know, before I . . . before I kick the bucket.”
“Adam,” I warned, “don’t talk like that. And you know I can’t take you away from the hospital for that long.”
“I know. I just think it would be fun to see a game together.”
“It would be.” I weaved in and out of traffic as I made my way downtown.
When I pulled into the space in front of my building, Adam pointed up at the mural of the wolves and smiled. “Hey, I painted that.”
“I know. Don’t you remember coming here that night when we met?” I turned the car off.
Adam blinked as he stared up at the mural. “No. I remember painting it. When we met, things were getting really foggy for me. I remember being with you at the loft but before that, not much else.”
“This is where I live.”
“Oh, if I would have known that . . .”
“You would have come looking for me?”
Without looking at me, he reached over and covered my hand with his. “Would you have wanted to be found?”
“I came to the hospital, didn’t I?”
“But right after that night?”
“Adam, I thought it was just a one-night stand for you. I had no idea of the circumstances. I was heartbroken.”
He looked over at me and took his sunglasses off. “I’m truly sorry. I was heartbroken, too.”
“The situation got all messed up,” I said.
He put my hand down and looked over. “Yes. It did. We could have had seven extra months together to fall in love. Now, who knows how much time we have.”
My stomach dropped, my mouth started watering, and my hands got clammy. “I . . . I . . .”
Adam smiled finally. “I’m kidding. It’s sweet that you’re taking pity on me now. I’d be bored to death in the hospital. This is like volunteer work for you.”
“Stop. I don’t pity you. I like you,” I said, and I meant it.
“Sure you do.”
I grabbed my phone from the center console and dialed Blackbird’s. When Jon-Jon answered I said, “Hey, it’s Charlotte. I fucking quit.” I hung up and looked over at Adam. “See?”
“Wow! I can’t believe you just quit like that.”
“I learned from the best.”
“But how will you pay your rent?”
My expression went blank. Shit.
“You know what? Don’t worry about it. I have some money I can give you to cover your income for a while. Would a few hundred grand do it?”
I stared at him. He was serious.
“That would cover my income for, like, ten years, Adam. But I’m not taking your money. I want to do this, okay?”
He nodded.
“Now stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I ran up the stairs to my apartment, where I found Chucky reading on the couch. “Hey, shitbag, can you help me for a sec?”
He didn’t look up from his copy of Dental Practice magazine. “In that case, Fatbutt, yeah. Anything you need.”
“I’m serious.” I leaned over the couch and got in his face. “I’m serious. Please. Can you come down to my car and help me?”
He huffed. “With what?”
“Just come with me.” I dragged him by the hand. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Chucky froze. “What is that?” he asked, staring at Adam in the passenger seat.
“It’s a human, dumbass. He has brain cancer and he has limited use of his left side. I need you to help me get him upstairs.”
Chucky stayed glued to the step he was on. “Are you out of your fucking mind? Is that a hospital patient? Is he wearing a hospital gown? Charlotte, you’ve really done it now. What are you doing with him? Please tell me this is for charity or something.”
“Listen, it’s a long story.” I yanked on his arm. “Just come on, help me.”
When I opened the passenger door, I said, “Adam, this is my brother, Charles. Charles, this is Adam.”
Adam shoved his right hand out for a handshake and Chucky did the same in response. “Nice to meet you,” Chucky said hesitantly. He turned and mouthed at me, Adam?
“You, too,” Adam said.
I helped Adam stand and then slipped one arm around him and anchored his body to mine. Chucky followed suit on the other side as we made our way to the stairwell. Halfway up, Adam laughed.
“What?” I said.
He looked down at the bottom of his hospital gown. “Drafty.”
“I bet. Do you want some regular clothes while you’re here?”
Adam had gotten thinner since that night we had spent together and he was weaker and far more frail. “I’ll be fine,” he said.
“Okay.”
Chucky was quiet all the way up the stairs. We helped Adam onto the couch, and I handed him the Dental Practice magazine. “I’m afraid this is the best literature I can offer you right now. Can I get you some water?”
He looked at the magazine strangely. “Sure.”
In the kitchen, Chucky came up behind me. “Tell me what the fucking deal is. He’s looking at you like you’re his girlfriend. Aren’t you dating Seth?”
“Meet me in my bedroom in a minute.”
I handed Adam the water. “I’m going to gather some things I’ll need at the hospital for a few days so I can stay there with you.”
“Perfect. I’ll just read this weird dental magazine. Why do you have this, Charlotte?”
“My brother is finishing dental school. I think I told you that the night we were together?”
“That’s right, I remember something,” he said, though I wasn’t sure if he actually did. He shivered, so I tossed him the skinny blanket I had made during my crochet phase.