I grabbed his hand back and squeezed it. “I think you’re pretty awesome, too. I’m really proud of you for making it through dental school.” At that point I really did start to cry, and Chuck’s eyes welled up, too.
“Thanks, sis. Now can we go back to being assholes to each other? Just for fun?”
“Totally.”
* * *
ON MONDAY, I did everything I could to find out more information about Adam. I learned that there was a man in the Los Angeles planning department fighting to protect the murals in the Arts District, and to restore some of the old murals that had been covered up in and around LA. I couldn’t imagine someone coming along and covering up our frolicking wolves or the winged man . . . or the new mural of my alternate-universe romance with Adam.
I wrote a letter to the city and asked to sign the petition to protect our local murals. I wanted to keep the fantasy alive through Adam’s art for as long as possible.
At work on Tuesday, I spilled an entire glass of water on a baby’s head. The mother yelled at me for five minutes. I just kept saying, “At least it wasn’t coffee.” Jon-Jon wasn’t amused.
I made it safely to Wednesday without Helen, and without walking past Adam’s loft or texting Seth or bugging Helen about being lonely, but I was lonely. I watched TV that night and scrolled through Match.com posts on my laptop. Chucky walked by, dressed up in slacks and a button-down shirt.
“Where are you off to?” I asked.
“I have a date.”
“Go, Chucky! Who is she?”
“This girl I’ve been seeing from dental school. Jenn.”
“Okay. Well, if you want to bring her back here, text me and I’ll get lost for a while.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
“Please. I’d do that for me. I don’t want to hear any of your weird sexcapades.”
He chuckled. “Probably best. See ya.”
He was out the door and I was alone again.
At nine, Chucky texted me to get lost, so I went out and got a donut. I told him to text me the all-clear once he was ready.
I sat on a bus bench eating a giant maple bar, wondering how to approach this thing with Seth. There were sparks, for sure, but something was holding me back from feeling fireworks. I wished I felt worthy of him. I wished that I thought I was as attractive as he was or had as much to offer. I was just a waitress, living with my brother in some crackpot apartment in a less-than-glamorous part of LA.
Halfway through my donut, I got a text from Chucky.
Chucky: It’s all clear but Jenn’s gonna stay the night, okay?
Me: Sure, fine, whatever. Be home in ten. Please be fully clothed.
Instead of going home, I walked past Adam’s loft. His neighbor, whom I had met for two seconds, was coming out of the building. What am I doing? I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.
“Excuse me? Hi.”
“Oh, hey,” she said. “Charlotte, right?”
“Wow, good memory. What was your name again?”
“Stacy.” We shook hands. “I only remember because Adam remembered, and that was totally unlike him. He was looking for you for a while but said he couldn’t find you.”
What in the hell is happening?
“Why didn’t he just come to my house? He’s been to my apartment before, and I live just a few minutes away.”
She gave me a long look. “You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
She stared at me for a few seconds, but I could see her mind at work, as if she were having a debate with herself. “I don’t really think it’s my place. Would you mind if I took your number so I can get in touch with him and see if it’s okay to pass along his info?”
“Well, jeez. It doesn’t sound like I was a person he wanted in his life.”
“No, you don’t understand. It’s not my place to talk to you about this. He liked you a lot. He remembered you. That was amazing for Adam, at that time.”
“Why was it amazing for Adam at that time? Is he mentally ill or something?” That would certainly explain a lot.
She pulled out her phone. “No, no, not at all. I’m sorry, I have to go meet my husband. Just let me get your number and I’ll get in touch with you, okay? I promise.”
“Um, okay. I just . . . he kind of rejected me.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head adamantly. “He was confused. I’ll explain everything later.”
I gave her my number and then stumbled home dumbfounded, but not before sneaking another glance at my mural.
14. Sabotage
Chucky and Jenn stayed in his bedroom and kept quiet all night. It wasn’t any different from rooming with Helen. Even Helen would occasionally be brazenly loud with some guy she had brought home.
In the morning, I left early for work first thing. Around eleven, Seth texted me.
Seth: We still on for tonight?
Me: I’m sorry. I think I’m going to pass tonight. Rain check?
Seth: Of course. Do you really mean it though . . . about the rain check?
Me: Yes.
Seth: I have some news. I’m going to be a Padre. They’re bringing me up. Starting me in center field. It wasn’t just a rumor.
Me: That’s amazing, Seth! You’ll be a major leaguer.
And I’ll never hear from him again.
I was genuinely happy for Seth. He deserved it. Soon there would be even more women flocking to him. He would be on television practically every night. People would recognize him.
My stomach started swirling around and around in circles. I needed to give him an out.
Me: You’re probably not going to have much time once you’ve been moved up.
Seth: My first game is tomorrow.
Me: Yeah, I mean, you’re probably going to be insanely busy.
He was on to me.
Seth: Can I date you? Is that all right, Charlotte? Or are you not ready for that right now, because I sense that you’re trying to get out of something.
Me: I’m not sure.
Seth: Come to the Padres game Friday and let me know. I’ll leave you a ticket at will-call.
I didn’t go to the game that Friday night. And I waited and waited for Stacy to call me with news of Adam.
I stayed home, but I did watch the game on TV. I actually paid a hundred dollars for some baseball package through Direct TV because our local channel wasn’t airing it, but I had to see him play. On TV, he was strikingly handsome. When he’d get up to bat I felt like I heard more women cheering than men, though maybe that was my mind playing tricks on me.
Chucky came home sometime around the fifth inning.
“Yo,” he said as he walked by me toward his room.
“Yo.”
When he came back out, he was wearing a red polyester tracksuit and had a bag in his hand. “I got you a present,” he said. When I stood to take the bag from his hands I noticed that the name “Chuck” was embroidered on his jacket.
I cautiously removed the contents of the bag to reveal an identical tracksuit to the one he was wearing, except it had “Charlie” embroidered on it. “Oh my god, Chucky.” I buckled over and started laughing.
“Screw Helen,” he said. “We’re roomies now.”
“We’re the Royal Tenenbaums!” I said, trying to catch my breath. “Thank you, Chuck. I totally thought you’d have Fatbutt embroidered on something the first chance you got.”
“It crossed my mind.”
Still laughing, I said, “We’re gonna be a spectacle.”
“It’s fucking rad. Wanna go for a run?”
“I’m watching the game.”
He turned around to look at the TV. “Your guy playing?”
“Not really my guy, but yeah, Seth’s playing. I’m gonna go put this on now,” I said.
“Cool.” He sat down on the couch to watch. “It’s Seth Taylor, right?”
“Yep,” I called back from the bathroom.
“He’s up.”
I ran out wearing my new tracksuit. “Scoot, scoot.”
Seth was down in the count when he smacked a high fastball clear to the scoreboard. Chucky and I jumped up and cheered. The stadium went wild and the announcer said, “What a way to make an entrance for Seth Taylor!”