“I didn’t say that you did, but Addie has a history with musicians who didn’t think twice about fucking around on her, so just seeing that photo of you from last night would be enough to make her run. She’ll come around.”
“Thanks.” I wave and leave, still completely confused. I’d planned to come pick Addie up and take her somewhere nearby for a quick lunch, see how her day is going. Hell, I just wanted to see her. Because I’m a selfish bastard.
I’m addicted to her.
But when I arrived, Jeremy was leaning toward her, about to put his motherfucking hands on her, and I saw red. I know she can handle herself, but damn it, she doesn’t have to. Not with me around.
Maybe I overstepped when it came to finding out that one of the waitresses was using, but damn it, why does she have a junkie working for her?
It’s none of your damn business, Keller.
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel as I drive through the tunnel and up the Sunset Highway, heading west of Portland. This highway is curvy, and hilly. People go way too fast up this thing.
So how am I going to fix this? How am I going to convince her that she needs to run toward me rather than from me?
Because I’ll be damned if I’ll let her turn her back and walk out on me again. I’ll put her over my fucking knee.
Just as I reach the Portland Zoo exit, I see a wrecking crew, and a Jetta, crumpled from rolling.
My heart speeds up as I realize it’s the same color as Addie’s car.
Is that Addie’s car?
I pull up behind a cop car, and race out of my car toward the first officer I see.
“Where is she?”
“You can’t stop here,” he says sternly. “This is the scene of an accident.”
“Who was in the car?” Please, for the love of Christ, tell me some guy was in the car.
“A woman was in the car,” a female officer replies. “She’s already been transported to the hospital.”
I watch in horror as what I’m sure is Addie’s car is loaded onto the bed of a tow truck.
I run back to my car and peel out into traffic, desperate to get to the hospital. I call Addie’s number, praying that by the grace of God it wasn’t her, but it just rings and rings and finally dumps me into voice mail.
Sonofabitch.
I try one more time, cursing more as I get the voice mail again, then I try Kat.
“Seduction, this is Kat.”
“This is Jake. Did Addie come back there?”
Please say yes.
“No, she had an appointment with Cici this afternoon. Why?”
“I just came up on a wreck on the Sunset,” I reply grimly. “Same car as hers, same color. The person in the car has already been taken to the hospital. I’m on my way there. I tried her cell and she’s not answering.”
“I’m sure she’s fine,” she says, but her voice is shaky now. “Let me call Cici’s phone and make sure she’s there.”
She clicks off, but calls back in less than thirty seconds. “Cici didn’t answer.”
“Fuck.”
“But her phone might be off,” she says quickly. “She usually turns it off when she has a client.”
“I’m pulling into the hospital now. I’ll call you when I have information.”
I hang up, thank the parking gods when I find a spot close to the door of the emergency room, and run inside.
“I’m looking for Addison Wade,” I say breathlessly as I approach a receptionist. “She’s been in an accident, and would have been brought in by ambulance.” I think.
The young woman clicks the keyboard, frowning.
“I don’t see anyone by that name.”
That’s a good sign.
“But if she was just brought in, we might not have her in the system yet. Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll keep an eye out and ask around.” She smiles kindly, but she doesn’t make me feel any better.
The woman I love so much it hurts could be broken back there right now.
The thought makes me want to scream. And throw up.
I sit, leaning my elbows on my knees, and curse myself as every kind of selfish bastard there is. What am I doing?
I destroy the people around me. The ones I love suffer because of me. My parents. My band. Christina.
And now Addie.
Addie deserves so much better than me.
After thirty minutes of waiting, I glance up at the receptionist, making eye contact, but she only shakes her head, silently telling me that there is still no word.
My phone rings in my pocket. “Kat. Tell me you found her.”
“She’s fine,” she says, leaving me weak with relief. “She and Cici both had their ringers off. She’s safe, Jake.”
I nod, not even caring that Kat can’t see me, and hang up the phone. I scrub my fingers through my hair and stand, on autopilot as I return to my car and drive toward my house.
She’s safe.
She didn’t run out, upset, and get hurt the way Christina did.
She’s going to be just fine.
But what happens next time I screw up? I obviously fucked up big-time last night. It didn’t even occur to me how it would look to kiss Karina’s cheek. It’s her goddamn cheek.
But I should have thought about it. Jesus, even when I had my lips planted against Karina’s face, all I could think was that Addie smells better and I wish she’d been my date.
Instead of just thinking of myself, I should have also realized that the photos wouldn’t look as innocent as it was.