“I forgive you too,” he says. “For keeping shit from me. We’re also going to have a long talk about anything else you’ve been keeping to yourself. I want to know everything. And now I’m directly asking you, so you can’t get away with your sneaky little omissions.”
I open my mouth, then close it when I can’t think of anything to say. “I think that’s everything. Oh, except I actually went to high school with Allie. She was a bitch then, just like she is now.”
“No shit?” he says, looking surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug, looking down. Then explain my history about Allie and William in detail. “She didn’t remember me at first. She made my life a living hell, so I didn’t want her to have something else over me.”
He comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He presses his lips against my neck, and says, “Fuck her. You’re ten times the woman she’ll ever be. God, I’ve missed your smell.”
“Don’t push me away again like that, Tracker,” I warn. “If we fight, then we fight, but the way you just cut me out? It really hurt. You were an asshole and I didn’t deserve it. If you’re going to do shit like that again, then I don’t want to do this with you.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, okay? And I never say sorry, so know how much I mean it. I can be a dick, all right? But fuck, only you have the power to hurt me like that, and I didn’t handle it very well.”
“You think?” I all but growl.
“I said I’m sorry,” he says in a gentle tone filled with regret. “It won’t happen again. I don’t know what the fuck else I can say to make you forgive me.” He pauses. “Don’t even think about getting even though. I’ll kill any fucker you try and let near you.”
My lip twitches at that. The thought never even crossed my mind, but it’s interesting that it did his. “If you even look at another woman—”
“I didn’t even look at another woman, I only wanted you,” he says. “I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. Trust me, she’s nowhere near as good as you, so it didn’t fucking work, then I pushed her off me. I knew I’d fucked up right then and there.”
I elbow him in the stomach. “I hate you! You’re such a pig, Tracker!”
“Just being honest,” he grumbles. “Fuck, I can’t win, can I?”
“Not when some other bitch had her mouth on you! Did she lick over your piercing like I like to do?” I ask harshly, even the thought of it infuriating me further.
“Lana—”
“I seriously hate you,” I yell, cutting him off.
“Well, I love you enough for the both of us. Now give me a kiss,” he demands. “Haven’t had those lips in too fuckin’ long. I’ve been dreaming of them, Lana.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he growls, cupping my face in his hands. “Don’t tell me no unless you mean it.”
“Did you kiss anyone else?” I ask, looking him right in the eye.
“No,” he says quietly, tightening his hold on me. “One blow job. One. That’s it, I swear it. And I regret it. I was just so angry, Lana. I didn’t even come. I pushed her off me and went to my room, feeling fuckin’ disgusted with myself.”
“You will regret it when I’m done with you,” I vow.
He chuckles. “My bloodthirsty woman.”
“Still don’t like you,” I snap. “You better have gotten tested since you had some random woman’s mouth all over you.”
“I did. I wouldn’t put you in danger. I’ll always be honest with you, even when the truth hurts,” he says. “I don’t want any lies between us. I don’t want to hurt you either. I don’t like seeing the pain in your eyes.”
“We messed up,” I say on a sigh. “Both of us.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s too late,” he says, turning me around and kissing my mouth. “This will never be done with. Never. We’re not perfect, but as long as we aren’t giving up, then fuck it, we can make it work.”
“That easy, huh?”
“No, not easy, I just want you that much, so I’m willing to put up with all the shit I know you’re gonna throw my way.”
We kiss.
Lots.
Then head back to my apartment and make love.
* * *
For the first time ever, I turn Tracker down for sex.
We’re in my kitchen, and I’ve just finished cooking breakfast.
“Why not?” he asks, not sounding angry, just curious.
I look at Evie. “I’m not having sex in front of her. Scar her for life!”
He looks down at Evie and calls her a cock block, sounding amused.
“Do you want to come to Rift tonight? I think Faye is going.”
“What about Anna?” I ask.
“Not sure,” he replies. “You’ll have to call and ask her.”
“I will.”
“Did you have to put a pink sparkly collar on the dog? She’s meant to be a man killer, not a fairy princess,” he comments, staring down at Evie.
“She can be a guard dog and look good at the same time,” I reply, making him close his eyes and shake his head at me.
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Rethinking us getting back together already?” I tease.