“They didn’t say if the baby was okay? Or what she was having surgery for?”
“No,” she replies, visibly frustrated. She pulls Cami’s ring out of her pocket and passes it to me.
“Why do you have this?”
“They wouldn’t let her wear it in surgery.”
I march over to the registration desk.
“I’m here regarding Cami LaRue. She’s been in surgery for a few hours. Can you give me any information?”
The woman smiles. “Let me call back.” She speaks with someone briefly, then hangs up the phone. “The doctor should be out shortly. Cami was just taken to recovery.”
I sigh in relief. If she’s in recovery, she must be okay. “Thank you.” I return to the others. “She’s out of surgery.”
“Thank God,” Riley says just as a man in green scrubs comes through the electronic doors.
“Are you friends of Cami’s?”
“Yes,” I say immediately. “I’m her fiancé.”
He shakes my hand and frowns slightly. “Cami’s surgery went well, and she’s in recovery. As soon as we make sure she’s handled the anesthesia well and she’s settled in a room, you’ll be able to see her.”
“Thank you. What happened? Is the baby okay?”
He sighs. “Cami came in with symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy, meaning the embryo had implanted in her fallopian tube rather than her uterus. We did an ultrasound to confirm. Unfortunately, her tube ruptured and we had to perform emergency surgery. She lost her fallopian tube and the baby.”
I drop into a chair and stare at my feet.
We lost the baby.
“The good news is, the surgery went well and we were able to clean up all of the infection. She’ll have some recovery time of a few weeks, but she’s going to be just fine.”
“Thank you,” Riley says.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Someone is rubbing circles on my back. The girls are talking about making calls and what they can do for her once she’s home.
It’s all just noise to me. I need to see her.
Finally, after what seems like hours, a nurse comes to get me and leads me to Cami’s room. She’s asleep, and I’m told that she’s been given a strong dose of pain medicine so she’ll probably sleep for a couple of hours.
I sit next to her and take her hand in mine. Jesus, she looks so small in this hospital bed. Aside from some circles under her eyes and the IV in her arm, she looks no different from when I left her yesterday morning.
And yet, our whole world just changed.
She’ll be devastated. Fuck, I’m devastated. After the shock wore off, we were both excited about the baby.
But we can have another. We have our whole lives ahead of us. I pull her ring out of my pocket and slip it onto her finger.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whisper as tears fall down my cheeks. Suddenly there’s a hand on my shoulder, startling me.
“She’s a strong girl,” my mother says, tears falling from her own eyes. “I’m so sorry about your bambino.” She kisses my head and sits across from me.
“Me too.” I can’t take my eyes off of Cami. “Why did this happen? And I don’t want to hear that everything happens for a reason, because that’s bullshit.”
“Watch your mouth,” Mama orders, making my lips twitch. “We don’t know why this happened, and I know that makes you angry. Did you know that your father and I lost a baby after Mia?”
My eyes whip over to hers. The room is softly lit, making it difficult to see her face. “What?”
“We did,” she says softly. “And there was no logical explanation. It just happens, Landon. And it breaks your heart.”
I nod and lean my forehead against Cami’s hand. I’m ready for her to wake up. I want to see her beautiful eyes and kiss her. I need her.
“It will make you stronger, and one day, when you are blessed with other children, it will make you that much more thankful for them.”
“I just need to make sure that Cami’s okay,” I reply. “As long as she’s healthy, that’s all that matters.”
“She’s a strong girl,” Mama repeats, and reaches across to pat my hand over Cami’s. “And she loves you more than anything in this world. She always has. She’ll blame herself.”
“It’s not her fault.” I frown and shake my head. “That’s silly.”
“Grief isn’t logical. She’ll blame herself and she’ll feel that she’s let you down. Be careful with her for a little while.”
I nod. “Thank you, Mama. Will you tell the others that they can come in to see her after she wakes up?”
“I guess that’s my dismissal, then,” she says with a smile. “I’ll leave you with your girl.” She circles the bed and stops to kiss me once more. “I’m so sorry for your hurt, my sweet boy.”
I want to weep in her arms, comforted the way only a mother can, but I nod and gruffly say, “Thank you.”
Mama leaves, and I lean on the bed, Cami’s hand firmly in mine, and close my eyes, listening to the rhythm of her breathing until I’m lulled to sleep beside her.
Chapter 19
~Cami~
Everything is fuzzy. My head, my thoughts, even my fingers feel fuzzy, but someone is holding my left hand.
I think I’m sore. I try to open my eyes, but they’re so damn heavy. Everything is fuzzy and heavy.