Tears spilled from Caroline’s green eyes. “I don’t know. Mostly sad, I think.”
“How come?”
Caroline shrugged. “’Cause he’s giving up. I mean, I know it’s stupid to think he’d just be there forever. But he’s letting go and that just…makes me sad.” She tried in vain to wipe away the tears.
“It is sad,” Bailey agreed.
“So, do I call him? Or text him? Or tell him I got the letter? What?”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because, Care. He just told you everything he wanted to say in that letter. You only want to call him because you’ve wanted to call him every day since that last phone call. You just think you have a reason now. But I think it would make things worse and you’d have to start all over again trying to feel better.”
“This letter makes me have to start all over again!” Caroline’s voice boomed with more intensity than she intended.
Bailey quickly scanned the office, looking at the raised heads of their co-workers and smiled. “Sorry,” she covered for Caroline. Everyone turned back to their computer screens.
“Sorry,” Caroline mumbled.
“It’s okay. You know what, though?” Bailey paused as Caroline looked directly at her. “I think Jackson’s right.”
“About what?”
“Accepting the situation and letting it go. I mean, if you guys aren’t going to be together,” Bailey raised her eyebrows and dipped her head, “then there really is no other option. You can’t keep holding on to something you said you didn’t want.”
Caroline grimaced.
“I’m not trying to be mean, Care. I’m just saying…”
“I know. You’re right. It just hurts.”
Chapter Fourteen
Clay stopped the car on the stone-paved driveway and Caroline quickly hopped out of the passenger seat. She stretched her arms into the air and shouted, “I LOVE being home!”
Clay laughed. “The weather is so much warmer here.”
“I miss it so much.” Caroline glanced up at the blue sky dotted with puffy white clouds and smiled.
Clay grabbed Caroline’s bags and closed the trunk. “I’ll bring these to your room, okay?”
“Thanks, babe,” she said as she followed him into the house. “Mom? Dad?”
“Maybe they’re still shopping for the engagement party.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Do you want me to wait with you until one of them gets back?”
“No, of course not. Go home. Tell your parents I said hi and I’ll see you all tomorrow for the party.”
“All right.” Clay bent down and sweetly kissed her mouth. “I love you,” he said as his eyes twinkled.
“I love you, too.” She watched as Clay headed out the front door and felt relief wash over her.
****
Jackson stroked the dark mane as his horse’s body moved with grace underneath his legs. He loved riding and it was the one thing he missed most on the days he lived in the city. With a gentle tug of the reins, Lily came to a slow stop and Jackson quickly hopped off. He nuzzled into the side of her brown face and gave her a quick pat. “Don’t worry, Lil, I won’t be long,” he said gently as he tied her reins around a large tree.
Shattered boards and splintered pieces of wood littered the ground around him. He knelt in the dirt to get a better look. He scratched his head. “That’s weird. It looks like it was broken right through.”
A dark shadow crossed over him and he tilted his head toward the sky. Ominous charcoal-colored clouds lingered in the sky above him, looking angry and warring. They hardly moved in any direction and Jackson noticed how they increased in size as the color turned even darker. “Get to work before these clouds dump on you, idiot,” he said out loud.
He quickly hammered at the broken boards and replaced the old shattered pieces with new, perfect ones. Subconsciously, his thoughts gravitated toward Caroline. The color of her green eyes drifted into his mind and he smacked the side of his head with his free hand. He winced at the self-inflicted blow. Pieces of conversations replayed until he shouted into the air around him, “Just leave me alone! You didn’t want me! Get out of my head!” He slammed his boots into the dirt and pieces flew in every direction.
He hated that he had allowed himself to feel so much for someone who was never available to him. He also hated how he let himself believe that they could end up together. His heart had definitely convinced his mind that she would leave her boyfriend for him. And when she didn’t—well, everything changed. He stopped believing in love. And even though he allowed himself to date Sally from the bar, he didn’t allow himself to feel a single thing for her.
Rain started to fall lightly as Jackson finished up the final board. He fastened the tools back onto his belt and headed toward the horse that watched his every move. The rain fell harder as each drop crashed into a branch, or leaf, the sounds building to a crescendo all around him. Lily pulled tightly at the reins with a nervous whinny, her tugging only securing the knot further.
Jackson stroked her neck slowly, hoping to reassure her. “Okay, girl, we’re leaving.” He worked at the knot as lightning lit up the sky and thunder rumbled in the distance. Lily refused to keep her large body still, clearly spooked by the storm. Jackson continued to fight with the knot until it loosened. He quickly unwrapped the leather from the tree as lightning blasted through the sky and struck the ground in front of him.