“Don’t you ever fucking settle for me, you promise?” he asks, holding out his pinky finger.
I roll my eyes but shake on it. “I’m not settling for you. I’m practically pining for you.”
“Oh really?” he asks, folding his arms and raising his chin. “And this is you pining?”
“I’ve been showing my pining through blow jobs.”
“Hmmm. I guess I approve.”
The bartender slides us our drinks but Blake motions to him. “And a shot of Jameson for the lady and I. Make it two.” He winks at me. “Open bar.”
“You’re driving,” I hiss at him.
“We can cab it if we have to,” he says. “Something tells me we’re going to need a lot of booze to survive this cock up.”
“What happened to just going home?”
“Eh, now that I’m here I want to get my money’s worth.” He takes the shots from the bartender and hands me mine. He holds his up. “Here’s to open bars.”
“To open bars,” I say.
“And to us.”
And even though that perpetual smirk is on his lips, I can see the depth in his eyes, the warmth, the need, the want. The fact that he absolutely has my back through all of this.
“To us.”
We slam back the shots—both of them—and then the beers. And then rinse, repeat.
It’s not long before I’m completely wasted. I knew I should have eaten something beforehand but I was just too nervous and Ana’s dinner of cold beet soup and rye bread wasn’t exactly appetizing.
Blake seems to have my back though. He’s with me nearly every step of the way, even indulging me with a drunken dance, until Sarah sequesters me by myself, introducing me to her fiancé David, whom I think seems nice but he looks like the type of guy who would wear an ascot (if those even exist anymore) and get weekly manicures.
While Sarah blabbers on and on about David, in front of his face, I get more and more drunk.
One of the last things I remember is seeing Blake across the room talking to Georgia and Alan of all people. He seemed to be passionately explaining something and then all their heads swiveled my way.
I think I smiled and waved.
I’m not really sure.
All the world went black.
***
“It’s okay,” Blake says soothingly.
It’s not okay.
It’s never been less okay.
I’m on his bathroom floor on my knees, hunched over the toilet, vomiting my guts out.
At least it didn’t happen last night but I can’t be sure of that.
Meanwhile, Blake is holding my hair back for me, even though I’ve tried to push him away a few times.
God this is embarrassing. No one wants to vomit in front of the guy they’re sleeping with.
Or their new boyfriend, I remind myself.
“It’s okay,” he says again.
I want to tell him it’s not okay at all but I obviously can’t speak. I heave and heave and heave until I don’t have anything left to upchuck.
Then Blake scoops me up, flushes the toilet, and then leads me to the shower where he strips the both of us naked and steps inside with me.
My legs are shaking, I taste nothing but stomach acid and leftover Jameson, but the moment the hot water hits me, I feel some of last night dissolve.
I moan loudly and place my hands on the shower wall, trying to hold myself up while my head hangs down.
“Darling, don’t you dare moan in here like that,” he says to me, squirting body wash into his hands and rubbing them together. “I’m not about to take advantage of a hungover wreck. Just as I didn’t take advantage of you last night.”
“How noble,” I mutter.
“Well it’s kind of noble when you were attempting to give me a blowjob the entire cab ride back here. Poor cabbie, I had to tip him extra, even though I think he enjoyed your effort. Even when we went to bed, you didn’t pass out like I thought you would. Instead you kept at it again.”
I manage to look at him, the water running down the strong planes of his face. “Really?”
He nods, sliding his hands over my shoulders. “Yup. I’ve never seen you so horny. I’ve also never seen you so smashed before.”
When I woke up this morning I felt like I was lying at the bottom of a grave filled with dog-shit and vomit and had to climb my way out. But Blake was in bed with me and already had water, Gatorade, Advil and a B-Vitamin booster on the bedside table ready to go. Too bad it wasn’t long after that I had to run to the bathroom.
“Did I make a fool of myself last night?” I ask him. It almost hurts to speak.
“No,” he says. “You were quiet. You kind of went inward. Everyone else was drunk though, so we weren’t the only ones, and I made you leave before the party was over.”
I breathe in deeply, closing my eyes, water running into my mouth. “Thank god. Did you behave yourself?”
There’s a beat of hesitation before he says, “Of course I did,” and continues soaping me up. “Want me to shampoo your hair?” he asks and it reminds me of our first time in the shower together.
“Okay,” I tell him, relaxing into him as his strong fingers work into my hair. It feels so good to be attended to like this. I know Blake is naked in the shower with me but I still appreciate how non-sexual it is. Granted, I can feel his erection poking my hip, but still. He’s being tender with me, with every touch of his hands, each caress of his eyes as they gaze at me. All that and after puking in front of him, too.