Home > More of You (Confessions of the Heart #1)(42)

More of You (Confessions of the Heart #1)(42)
Author: A.L. Jackson

Completely ruined.

Blood pumping hard, rushing straight to my dick. Straining and begging.

My hand moved to her hip, the other moving high up on her slender waist.

It was instant.

The way tension climbed to the air.

“Jace,” she whispered, staring up at me in that way I recognized from so long ago. In the way that’d made me feel as if I were different.

Better.

A believer, just like Ian had said.

“Faith,” I murmured back, unable to stop myself from pulling her closer.

Which was so goddamned reckless.

She’d had more than a few drinks.

Clearly, her inhibitions were down, the armor she wore loosed, her body lax.

I should get her home, tuck her in bed, leave her there to sleep it off.

But I’d promised her a good time, and I didn’t want my dwindling resolve to ruin that. I had to steel myself.

Get control so I could . . .

She leaned into me.

Sparks. That energy that was always alive a strike in the bare space between us.

My guts twisted into a thousand knots, and I swore I could feel the resolve I was just trying to fortify splinter under the pressure.

Chocolate eyes stared up at me. The strain stripped away and something else in its place.

Something so mesmerizing and enthralling.

Magic.

The girl had always invoked the impossible, but there was nothing dark about it.

Bright, bright light.

Goodness and grace.

I felt drunk on it. Drunk on this girl who clutched my upper arms.

Heat binding. Wrapping and enveloping.

I pulled her flush, her sweet body tucked against mine where we stood tucked alone at the end of the hall.

A whimper left her full lips, and those chocolate eyes flared.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This was so bad.

I was in deep. Deeper and deeper.

Losing myself.

But the problem was, I’d been lost for years.

And with her in my arms? The only thing I could think was that I’d been found.

Rescued.

Which was so goddamned stupid.

Clearing my throat, I inched back, hating that I had to put a damper on the night.

But my need had risen to dangerous levels.

“Come on, I should get you home.”

Faith all but stumbled forward at the loss of contact. Dropping her gaze, she shifted in discomfort and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

I set my hand on the small of her back. Bad idea, too. Seemed there was nothing I could do that didn’t spark the need that strained and pulled inside me.

We wound back down the hall and into the crowd, and from the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Ian with some chick pinned against the wall.

His attention flicked my way for a beat, his expression devoid of anything but a desperate hunger.

Like he’d consume everything and anything in his path.

Burn it all away for the sake of a second’s pleasure.

I hated it for him.

Wanted more for him.

Wanted more for me.

Wanted her.

Fuck.

I wanted her.

Wanted her so desperately, I could feel that tacked on restraint coming unglued. Pulling up at the edges. All the reasons I couldn’t do this failing to matter any longer.

I rushed her out of the bar, through the throng of people crushed in the space. Didn’t even take the time to say our goodbyes.

I had to get out of there before I lost my mind.

I gave the valet my slip then wanted to lash out like some kind of deranged lunatic when the kid eyed my girl like he was imagining licking her up and down.

My car pulled to the curb, and I quickly helped Faith inside, trying not to watch the way those long legs slipped into the darkness of the car.

Trying to ignore the way I was dying to run my hand up the silky flesh, beneath the hem of that skirt to find what I knew would be burning underneath.

Sweat beaded on my brow, muscles clenched in restraint.

I ran around the front, tipped the kid—who I still really wanted to deck—and hopped inside.

I really was losing it.

I hit the road and cranked up the air, needing to cut the heat out of the space.

But it only radiated and grew and compounded.

I took the city streets.

Lights blinked down over us, flashes of darkness, streaks of hazy light.

I took the corners harder than I probably needed to, trying to beat my frustration out on the road.

But nothing worked.

Faith’s breaths filled the car, and I couldn’t help from peeking over that way.

She was in the seat, shifting uncomfortably, squeezing her thighs together like she didn’t know what to do with herself any more than I did.

She pushed her back against the door. Searching for a way to put space between us.

It was almost sadness that filled her tone, all wrapped up in a needy vibration. “Why have you always made me feel this way?”

“Shit,” I cursed at no one but myself.

I blinked hard, should have kept my mouth shut but couldn’t stop the confession from bleeding from my tongue. “And you somehow think you don’t affect me? That I’m not dying right now?”

She squeezed her eyes closed, her hands pressed to her heart, words coming free that I was pretty sure she was going to regret tomorrow. “You killed me, Jace. Shattered me. I didn’t think I’d survive when you left. It hurt so bad. It all hurt so bad.”

She slurred a bit, the alcohol dulling her defenses.

The only buzz I had was her.

She vibrated my bones.

Shivered through my senses.

Once I got out of the city, I took a left down the main road of our small town. We raced through the quiet hum.

“It killed me, too,” I finally admitted.

She choked over a sob. “Why? Then why did you leave me if you didn’t want to go?”

Pain compressed my entire being. “I had to. I’m sorry, but I had to. You deserved so much better than me.”

Tears lined her face as she stared over at me. “You were the only one of us who believed that.”

“Faith,” I murmured, rubbing the back of my hand over my lips. A reminder to keep them shut. That there were things that would hurt her so much worse than my walking away had.

I made the last right onto the bumpy dirt road that followed along the stream at the back of town and then a left onto the tree-lined path.

Moonlight streaked through, shining down to illuminate the girl who continued to watch me from the seat.

Silver streaks on her cheeks.

Hate and love in her eyes.

I came to a stop, feeling so fucking wrecked, wondering how we’d gone from fun to our hearts bleeding all over my leather seats in a second flat.

But that was what I got for dipping my toes into dangerous waters.

I’d waded in until I was swallowed.

And I just kept going deeper.

Deeper and deeper and deeper.

Got the unsettled feeling I’d never again be able to break the surface.

Hopping out of my car, I scanned the area, making sure it was clear before I rounded the front. Opening her door, I took her hand and helped her down.

She sagged into me.

Vanilla and rose.

Delicate purple petals.

I wanted to bathe in them, too.

Our feet crunched on the pebbles, her heels sinking in, her weight against my side.

She leaned away a bit when we got to the porch steps.

This part of the porch was complete thanks to the crew that had worked through the week, this gorgeous place sitting in the darkness, a shadow of what we’d wanted.

Of all I’d lost.

I was the fool who tortured myself with the barest taste of it. Taunting myself with what it might have been like.

She is worth it. She is worth it. She has always been worth it.

I fumbled through the locks while Faith waited two steps behind me. Her breaths heaved. Held in the humid night air.

A gust of relief hit me when I finally had the door open. Needing reprieve. To get away.

Because I could feel myself tipping.

Sliding.

Stumbling at the edge.

I started to walk inside but froze in my tracks when I heard the ragged word that came from behind.

“Jace.”

Prickles lifted at my nape, and I knew I should ignore it. Ignore her and her plea, go up to my room, and lock the door.

   
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