So, I let him wrap me in his arms.
Let him hold me while I wept.
The problem was, I didn’t even know what I was weeping for.
The future or the past.
Or maybe it was for what had come in between.
Because I felt another piece of its hold break away.
Like all of those memories had gone into a free fall with the rest.
Jace sighed into my hair. “I’ve got you.”
The scariest part of that was I’d never felt so whole.
Twenty-Nine
Faith
Seventeen Years Old
Faith gulped around her nerves, around her fear and trepidation and what threatened to be a broken heart as she stood at the end of the lane.
“Stop being a coward,” she scolded herself under her breath, forcing her feet to keep moving down the road that was little more than a path carved out by tires with a bunch of weeds growing up the middle.
Her heart beat harder and harder with each step she took, her mind racing with the different scenarios of what might have happened two nights ago.
Of where he might have been.
She hadn’t heard from him in all that time.
Faith faltered when she came around a leafy bend, trees growing wild all around her, and saw the trailer sitting in the middle of it, rundown while the foliage seemed to try to swallow it whole.
Her heart climbed her throat, throbbing and pulsing as she tried to shove her reaction down.
Jace was always so worried what she’d think about where he lived, but what he didn’t get was it could never make her think less of him.
It only made her want more for him.
Made her hate it all the more that he had to live this way.
She was trying to instill the courage inside herself to knock on the door when it banged open.
A surprised gush of air left her, only for a slight smile to find her face when Joseph came out. “Joseph,” she said as a soft hello.
“Faith . . . hi.” He was all timid smiles and slightly curly, dark brown hair.
Cute in an almost studious, boy-next-door way.
“What are you doing here?” he chanced, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.
She raked her teeth over her bottom lip, trying to stave off the nerves. “I’m lookin’ for Jace. Have you seen him around? He was supposed to meet me a couple nights ago, and he didn’t show, and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried about him.”
A glower streaked through Joseph’s expression, and his lips pursed in concern. “You shouldn’t worry about a guy like that.”
Taken aback, Faith frowned. “What does that mean?”
Joseph took the three steps down to the ground, and he came her direction, his voice lowered like a warning. “It means he’s not a good guy, Faith. It means you deserve someone better than that.”
She rubbed her palms up her arms, chills lighting on her skin even though it was blistering hot outside.
“How can you say that?” she whispered. Her question wasn’t out of anger. It was bred from an insecurity she didn’t want to feel.
The barest hint of some of those worries had needled their way into her consciousness.
The what-ifs.
What if he didn’t really love her the way he’d said?
What if he’d found someone he liked better?
What if her dreams of staying in this town weren’t big enough for him?
“It means he got arrested for assault.”
Air shot from her lungs, and she stumbled back as if she’d been kicked. “What?” she wheezed.
Joseph started to say something else, but both of them froze when there was a clatter from the trailer.
Jace was suddenly standing in the doorway, staring at them both, his entire body vibrating with that same hostility that had both terrified her and captivated her the first time she’d seen him.
Faith’s heart started to beat wild, that attraction and disorder racing through her veins. Overcome by that sensation she’d only ever felt with this boy.
Copper eyes flashing their turmoil, she was sure she was bein’ held hostage by their intensity. Almost scary in their severity.
But it was the cut on his cheek that had her stomach twisting in tight compassion, with all the love she felt for him.
Instantly, she was moving his direction. She had an overwhelming urge to reach out and heal anything that might hurt him.
“Jace,” she whispered into the heated day, squinting up at where he stood at the top of the steps.
Jace swallowed hard. Shame etched all over him like a stain. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on you. Obviously, you needed it. What happened?”
“Yeah, Jace, what happened?” This from Joseph, who was standing behind her.
Jace suddenly flew off the steps. She spun around to see Jace had pinned Joseph’s back to a tree. “I’m warning you, Joseph. I told you to leave Faith out of this.”
Joseph thrashed, and Faith rushed up behind Jace, touching his back. “Jace, what are you doing?”
Jace released Joseph, and Joseph shrugged away, shaking himself off. “Told you,” Joseph told her as if he were offering a warning.
She didn’t respond, just stared dumbfounded at Joseph’s back as he retreated toward the trailer. He sent her a single glance over his shoulder before he slammed the door shut.
She whirled back around. “What is happening?” she pleaded.
Jace’s shoulders slumped. Defeat in his stance. “Exactly what I warned you was going to happen. I’m not good enough for you, Faith. I told you I was going to mess this up.”
She blinked at him, not believing a word he said, and she reached out a trembling hand to gentle her fingers across the cut on his cheek.
Her head angled to the side as she searched his face. “Don’t tell me you’re not good enough for me. Just tell me what happened.”
Turning away from her, Jace blew out a strained breath and walked to the edge of the lot where he stood in the high weeds.
She stood behind him, and he dropped his head, his shoulders sagged as he muttered toward the ground, “This guy . . . he’s been hooking up with my mom. Feeding her drugs. Basically, the same bullshit we’ve had to deal with all our lives. I came home the other night, and he’d beaten Ian up. I was done with it, Faith. Done.”
His entire body quaked. “I went after him. Forced my mom into telling me where I could find him, and I waited for him until he showed.”
He looked back at her, his expression twisted in remorse. “I couldn’t see anything but gettin’ revenge. Couldn’t stop myself from going after it. Seeking it out. I warned you—”
“That you would do anything to protect your brother and your cousin,” she cut in. “You’re right, Jace, you did. And there is no shame in that . . . there is absolutely no shame in protecting your family.”
His lips pursed in disgust. “I got arrested, Faith. I wanted to end this cycle. That’s all I ever wanted, and now the only thing I’ve done is—”
His admission cut off, so much pain and regret oozing from the words that Faith couldn’t do anything but jump in to try to ease it.
“It will all work out. There’s nothing you could have done that would make things worse when the only thing you’re tryin’ to do is make things better. You’ll see.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Why not?”
He suddenly spun around and wrapped her in the strength of his arms, stealing the little breath she had, hitching it right in her throat where her heart was drumming mad.
He buried his face in her hair. “I wish it was, Faith. I wish it was all that simple. That I could just believe and it would all come to pass. That I could get out of this mess. It’s all I want, but every time I turn around, I’m getting deeper into it.”
She hugged him tighter, her nose in his neck, breathing him in. “It will. It will all work out.”
“What do you see in me?” he murmured.
Her hands fisted in his threadbare shirt. “Everything.”
She squeezed him tighter. “I see everything, Jace. My future. My hope. All my firsts. I want all of them with you. To experience everything with you. For you to find a future with me, too.”