“No one gives a shit about us. No one cares about us or loves us. All of that is bullshit. It’s just us—me, you, and Joseph against the world. Don’t ever forget that, Ian. Never. We fight for what we want, for what we need to survive, any way we have to. As soon as we let our guard down, love someone? That’s when people like us lose. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
“Maybe I was wrong,” I told him.
Ian blinked at me like he didn’t recognize me. “I don’t get it, why you feel obligated. Why you’re willing to sacrifice everything for that girl. But what I do know is you never forgot her. You changed after you lost her, and the only thing I want is for you to get some of that joy back.”
His brow pinched in emphasis. “But if you go after it? After her? Make sure you’re doing it for the right reason. Not because you fucking feel guilty or you’re trying to make amends for what Joseph did. You always taught me to look out for myself and no one else. But that girl right there? She’s the only one who ever made you think changing that belief might be worth it.”
I watched Faith across the space. Her grace filling the air. So pure and goddamn sweet. I swallowed the lump in my throat and chased it with a gulp of scotch. “Not a question of might.”
Ian cracked a grin. “Then I’d say it’s time to go after what you want. It’s what we do. We fight for what we want. You walked away once. Don’t make the mistake of doing it again.”
Shock moved through me. “I thought you didn’t like her?”
Ian gave a somber shake of his head. “I didn’t not like her, Jace. I was terrified of her. Of what she might mean to you. That I might lose you because of it. It made me make my own stupid choices. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. I’m not any good, Jace. You and I both know it. But the last thing I want to do is stand in the way of your happiness for any longer.”
“You’re wrong, Ian. You are good.”
His head shook and he choked out a laugh, clearly diverting the direction our conversation had gone. He pointed at Faith. “So, what are you waiting for, brother?”
Mack huffed. “That’s a bad fucking idea, Ian, and you know it.” He shifted his attention to me. “Your judgment is clouded. You’re going to fuck everything up. All the progress we’ve made.”
Wasn’t sure I’d call it progress when they had nothing. Knew it wasn’t Mack’s fault, but I was close to going out of my mind.
“You’ve got to nail this fucker, Mack,” I suddenly said, words gravel. I drained my drink. “Or I will.”
“Don’t be stupid, Jace. You’re only here as a lookout. Nothing else. You got me?”
I cut him a glare. The only thing I got was I’d do anything for Faith. Anything for Bailey.
Mack exhaled, a strained push of his lungs. “Fuck, man. You’re getting in too deep. It’s written all over you. It was clear that day when you dragged all our asses out there to work on her house. Not that I minded, but all of us know why you’re doing it. I never should have said a thing.”
If I was too deep, then I’d gladly drown.
“What do you say we drop this for now, yeah?” Ian said, taking a swill and looking around the room. “This is supposed to be a party. Don’t you think Joseph has ruined enough?”
“Fine by me . . . so long as your brother here remembers his place.” Mack’s eyes glinted with the warning.
Ian slung his arm around my shoulders. “Oh, Jace here totally knows his place . . . or at least where he wants to put it.”
It was pure innuendo. The prick actually sent me a wink.
He was lucky I loved him so much or I’d take him out back and teach him a lesson the way I used to.
Ian locked his elbow around my neck, giving it a tug. “Come on, let’s celebrate. Mack only turns thirty once, and the night is wasting away. I’m done spending it in the corner.”
Ian turned to face me as he started to back into the crowd. “I’m ready to find me a little fun.”
I grunted.
Knew exactly what his form of fun was. I’d wasted away in the same shit for the last ten years.
He shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll just go dance with your girl. She is the hottest thing out there tonight.”
That grunt turned into a growl.
A grin filled up the punk’s face. “That’s what I thought.”
He disappeared into the fray, and Mack cinched a hand down on my shoulder. “Not trying to be a dick, man. I just need your head clear.”
I nodded, and he edged back, shaking his head like he didn’t believe a thing I said, which was about right because I didn’t believe it either.
I headed to the bar and ordered a water, hoping it’d give me a little time to cool down.
Time to sink back down to reality.
To focus on my mission and not the chaos that whirled through me. A tornado ripping everything apart.
Then I fucking panicked when I turned around and a shadow was moving in front of Faith.
Her friends were having way too much fun to even notice this huge asshole was backing her away from them, deeper into the throbbing mass, crowding over her as he encroached.
Rage beat a path through my veins, possession a life-beat inside me, drumming like a snare.
I pushed through the crush on the dance floor, not giving a fuck about the glares and grumbles I was getting.
I promised her I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
It sure as fuck wasn’t going to happen here.
My jaw clenched as I finally made it to where he was leaning down, the fucker whispering something in her ear.
There was no missing the anxiety that rippled from her in a wave. Her uneasiness mine. I swallowed it, let it feed the frenzy that lashed inside me.
A gasp of relief wrenched free when I slid my arm around her waist. I wasn’t sure if it was hers or mine.
“Hey, baby,” I murmured loud enough for the asshole to hear. I jutted my chin out at him, uttered a cold, “What’s up? I’m Jace . . . and you are?”
That’s right.
Leaving.
A shot of air burst from his nose, like he didn’t want to give up his play, the piece of shit leering at her in a way that had me close to coming unchained.
Chinks coming loose.
Rational mind completely lost.
“Back the fuck up,” I gritted.
His dark gaze moved to me, anger in his stance. “What the fuck did you say to me?”
The guy was instantly in my face, reeking of booze, too much confidence for his own good.
He leered at Faith. “Seems to me she can make the decision for herself.”
This from the dickhead who didn’t even notice her cowering. Didn’t notice her shake when he tried to move around me and get another step closer.
Panic surged through my body.
Hot and intense.
I flew in front of him and pushed him back. “Stay the fuck away from her.”
He swung an arm, and I ducked back, barely missing his meaty fist. “Come on, asshole,” he taunted. “You want a fight?”
I guessed I did.
Because rage spiraled through me.
A blackout.
Everything boiling.
Rising to the surface.
Everything too much.
I threw a fist. It cracked against his nose.
A few people scattered back, and I was going to go for him, ready to take the asshole down, beat all my aggression out on him, when someone was there, hauling me back.
Mack.
“He’s not worth it, man. Not worth it. You’re going to land your ass in jail if you throw another punch.”
I looked up, catching Felix and some of the other guys watching, ready to jump in.
I blew out some of the frustration, shoulders sagging as I released some of the hostility.
The asshole I’d hit wiped the blood dripping from his nose with the back of his hand, clearly wanting to come back for some more, giving it up when he saw everyone surrounding me.
He shrugged it off, spat, “Pussy.”
Like I wasn’t the one who’d just busted his nose.
I had half a mind to go after him.
Teach him a little respect.
The other half of me wasn’t letting Faith get farther than a foot away from me again.