She shook her head, her face pinching like she’d just caught on to something. I waited, watching her profile as her mind worked.
“God, I was a fool, wasn’t I? Blind?” she said in that sweet, sad way. “I mean, there were these times when I got this feelin’ . . .”
She touched her chest right over her heart. “This intuition that something wasn’t right. I ignored it, Jace. I ignored it because I didn’t want to believe my husband could be involved in anything illegal.”
She will hate me.
She will hate me.
When she found out, she was going to hate me. I deserved it, and at the same damned time, I wanted to reject it.
Lay every ounce of blame on Joseph, the piece of shit.
But even if it was his fault, it didn’t mean I wasn’t responsible.
She blinked into the distance. “And now . . . someone somehow thinks that I was involved?”
Her face pinched in rejection of the idea. “That’s what this is, isn’t it? They think I have knowledge of something? Possession of something that Joseph never should have had? Tell me he wasn’t corrupt, Jace. Tell me I’m being crazy.”
She looked at me with that pleading expression.
A million lies danced on the tip of my tongue, desperate to do anything to take the blame away from her.
“The shipping yards . . .” I hedged, shifting to lean my forearms on the top of my thighs, my feet slowly rocking us where they were planted on the porch.
I glanced over at her. “They invite trouble. There is so much crime down there, shit being moved around that shouldn’t be.”
I tried to deliver it gently. As soft as the girl. Didn’t want to taint her with any of the nastiness that thrived and lived in that area. The guns and the drugs and all the shit that came through. All masked by what looked like legitimate businesses.
Laundered and shaken and put right back onto the streets.
Guessed I should have thought of that before I got everyone mixed up in that world in the first place.
Even with those words, she squeezed her eyes shut. “Joseph wouldn’t . . .” she started to say before she trailed off, gasping over a cry in her throat.
Then she opened to me. “I feel like an idiot, Jace. Like a complete idiot, doing nothing but living with the wool pulled over my eyes.”
I shook my head at her, hand trembling, wanting to reach out and hold her. “No, Faith. You just always saw the good in people. Believed in them when they didn’t deserve it.”
Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip. Pain streaking across her face as her eyes flicked all over mine. “Sometimes those are the people who need the belief the most.”
Energy crackled.
Warmth and grace and Beauty.
I wanted to breathe it in. Taste it. Live in it.
I inhaled, leaning her direction. “Faith—”
Like she felt the magnitude of what was coming, she hopped to her feet, cutting me off, fumbling over the words, “I . . . I . . . I need to go check on Bailey.”
Dropping her head, she scrambled for the backdoor, taking all that intensity with her.
I pushed out a frustrated sigh.
Fuck.
Finally, I climbed to my feet and headed inside, going for the front window and pulling open the drape. A cruiser sat in the shadows under the trees.
I blew out a little relief. The little that I had. The fact that Mack wasn’t taking any chances any more than I was willing to do.
Needing to give it up, to clear my mind, I headed upstairs to my room. Only I stumbled when Faith was slipping back out of Bailey’s room and into the darkened hall.
Just looking at her had energy replacing the air around me. Sizzling and shivering through the atmosphere. Could feel it radiating from her skin. From her heart and that sweet mind.
My mouth went dry, and she whispered, “Jace.”
And I was there, in front of her, drawn in a way I shouldn’t have been. In a way I couldn’t stop. I wanted to press her to the wall. Kiss her. Touch her. Carry her into my room and get lost in her.
It felt like I was right there. In that moment when I’d had to say goodbye.
If I could go back, could I do everything differently?
Or had we been destined for destruction?
Me thinking I could have something good when I’d been nothing but trash?
She blinked up at me with those chocolate eyes. So warm. Glinting with something different. Like there was a chance she was feeling some of the need twisted through my guts.
I inched closer, and she fumbled back, hitting the wall outside Bailey’s door. I hovered there, our noses an inch away, our breaths mingling.
I could count every beat of her heart as it thundered into the enclosed space. Could feel her torment. Could feel all the same questions swirling through me.
I planted both my hands over her head. “Faith,” I murmured.
She panted. Gasped. Then twisted out from under me, backing away with her hands pressed over her heart. “I can’t do this, Jace.”
I stared at her silhouette, her eyes alive in the shadows.
“I missed you,” I told her, admitting a little of what I’d been needing to tell her all along.
She took another step back, her hand on the knob of her door. “And you destroyed me, and I’m not sure I can risk that happening again.”
I stood there wanting to tear something apart as she stepped inside and her door clicked softly shut behind her.
The beast raging.
Wanting to punish something for taking her away.
Or maybe he was just plotting exactly how he was going to get her back.
Twenty-Two
Jace
Eighteen Years Old
Jace hustled down the trail toward the trailer. He’d just gotten off work, and he was anxious to grab a shower, knowing he’d be sneaking back out to meet with Faith.
He slowed when he saw that same shiny car parked out front. Anger wound up in his chest, and he gritted his teeth as he spat a curse at the ground.
Was it wrong that his mama absolutely disgusted him? That his guts got all tied up every time he thought of her and what she represented? The things she’d allowed to happen in their home.
Jace’s eyes traveled the rusted trailer, the cardboard wedged in the windows that were busted out, and the trash strewn about the yard.
Home.
Yeah right.
With a harsh shake of his head, Jace bounded up the steps and blew through the door. He stumbled again when he caught sight of what was going down inside.
That slimy bastard his mom had been hooking up with was on the shabby couch, leaning over all the salacious crap left on the coffee table.
Both Ian and Joseph were sitting on the floor at his feet, listening to whatever bullshit he was filling their heads with.
If they listened that hard at school, the two of them would have straight A’s.
The prick looked up when Jace stepped inside. He cracked a grin.
Unease rumbled through Jace’s spirit. “What’s going on here?”
The asshole sat back on the couch, leveling Jace a stare. “Just having a little conversation with your brothers.”
Anger pulsed.
The cocksucker didn’t even know Joseph wasn’t their brother. And there he was, sitting on that couch like he owned the shithole.
With the way he was dressed, Jace was pretty sure he thought he owned the world.
“I don’t think either of them need to hear a thing you have to say.” The words left Jace’s mouth like gravel. Hard and pitted. Full of hate.
“I think they are very interested in everything I have to say.” He cast his wicked eyes over them. “Aren’t you?”
Ian looked to the ground and Joseph fucking nodded.
What the hell?
“Well, it doesn’t matter if they want to hear what you have to say or not. I’m telling you they don’t.” Jace pushed open the door. “I think it’s time you leave.”
The guy had the audacity to laugh, pushing to his feet, his head angled as he crossed the space, coming toward Jace. “Aren’t you the big man?”
He tipped his head farther, like he was assessing Jace, adding up his worth. “Maybe you should be the one I’m talking to. I like someone who’s loyal. A fighter.”
Fear and fury vibrated all the way to Jace’s bones.