Good?
A gust of air left my lungs, my heart and spirit at odds with what she’d said. “Jace is dangerous,” I told her, barely able to free it from my tongue. “That beast is liable to wipe me out flat.”
She swung her attention back out the window.
Jace was leaned casually against the railing, chatting with his brother as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. His profile so striking, so dominant and commanding as he stood there, that it was borderline painful for me to look away from it.
It didn’t matter if he was wearing ratty jeans or a suit.
He appeared as if the world couldn’t touch him. Only because he owned it.
But, oh God, could I feel him touching me from across the space. His presence these tendrils that wrapped around me, held me hostage, sank right in.
Taking root.
Through the window, those coppery eyes flashed my direction.
A tremble rumbled through the walls.
“And what if that’s exactly what you need? A beast to watch over you. His strength to hold you up.”
Guilt lined my throat. “It’s not right.”
She shook her head. “Love’s not about right or wrong, just like grief isn’t about counting days. Love is about being given a gift. Sometimes when we least expect it. Usually when we need it most.”
My lips pursed tightly in refusal. “Love? He doesn’t love me.”
She grabbed the bowl of watermelon, a grin threatening at her mouth. “You just go on tellin’ yourself that.”
I scowled at her. “I thought you didn’t want Jace anywhere around me.”
Another shrug. “Maybe I changed my mind.”
“And why would you go and do that?”
She looked out the window. “Only a man who really gives a shit shows up in the middle of a tragedy. Assholes? They like it nice and easy. They tuck tail and run the second things get rough. It’s the ones who really care who stick around.”
“It was way easier when you were hatin’ on him,” I muttered quietly, barely a breath, pretty much talking to myself.
“Hatin’ is always easier than lovin’, isn’t it?” she said right before she pushed open the door and stepped out onto the porch.
No.
She was totally wrong.
Because loving Jace Jacobs had always felt like the easiest thing in the world. Right up until that love was taken away.
Twenty-One
Jace
“And here I had to come out of the ocean buck naked in front of half the high school.” Mack glared at Ian, who was rocked back in one of the patio chairs, all smug the way he always was.
“Hey, warned you if you told Delaney I was crushing on her, you were going to regret it.”
Somehow, we’d started tossing out stories from back in high school while we sat under the shade of the porch. Tyler and Shane had taken off, so it was just a few of us left.
The mood had gone light.
That didn’t mean that energy wasn’t billowing from her.
Floating through the atmosphere.
Clouds at the edge of heaven. Maybe right in her hands.
I tried to pretend I wasn’t all wrapped up in the way she felt sitting two feet away from me and watched as Mack gave a shrug with one of his hulking shoulders. “Turns out, it worked in my favor, anyway. Maddie didn’t seem to mind all that much.”
“Ewww.” Courtney laughed and smacked at her thigh. “You would go for Maddie, Mack. You were such a dirty bird back in high school.”
Mack grinned and drained the rest of his lemonade as he looked at her. “Was?” He winked at her. “Besides, what was so wrong with Maddie?”
There was a smirk riding around his mouth, his beard twitching as he kept himself from laughing.
“Uh, how about the fact she went around braggin’ about every boy she sacked. She might as well have been a football player.”
Mack scoffed. “I think you were just jealous those linebackers weren’t trying to take you down.”
Courtney shot him a glare. “I’ll have you know I could have had anyone on that team. I just liked the boys I dated . . . a little more seasoned.”
Mack squinted with the accusation, the cop in him always right at the surface. “You mean you were jail bait? Not cool, Courtney, not cool.”
Courtney laughed. “I’ll never tell. Besides, why are you always tryin’ to find a good excuse to arrest me?”
“Uh, because you’re nothin’ but trouble.” It was purely a tease.
A grin pulled up at the corner of Felix’s mouth, and he ran his fingers over Courtney’s arm. “Trouble maker, huh? Do I need to get my cuffs out?”
“I have been a bad girl.”
I could feel the flush coming from Faith beside me, the way she was looking at the porch floor and fighting a grin, peeking up at her best friend.
Satisfaction tightened my chest.
It felt like with each day that passed, I got to watch her come farther out of her shell.
Heal a little more. Even with the possible threat looming over her head, the girl was blossoming again.
Like her spirit had been fed, wilted petals coming alive.
Comfortable in her own skin, in her own home, while her little girl ran and twirled and danced on the lawn. Not a care in the world since she was off living in all her make-believe ones.
That was the only thing I wanted for them.
For them to feel like they could live without fear. Without Faith having to constantly watch over her shoulder.
“So, birthday party next weekend for Mack,” Ian said, grinning at Mack who probably would prefer to let the milestone pass him right on by. Unnoticed.
As if any of us were going to let him forget.
“That’s right. It’s the big one. Thirty.”
I grinned at Mack, who was rubbing his fingers through his beard and grinning as he sat there in his own comfort.
“Getting up there, man,” I told him.
Mack scoffed. “Hardly. Just another day as far as I’m concerned. Besides, the rest of you assholes aren’t far behind me.” He pointed around the circle of us.
“Don’t worry, Mack, we’ll all be there to help you cross over to the other side,” Felix said, lifting his lemonade as if it were a shot.
“Can’t wait,” Mack said, response dry, though there was a smirk behind it.
Everyone seemed to trail off and settle into the rest, a light breeze blowing across the back lawn from the stream at the back, the little bit of cool welcomed after we’d been baking under the rays of the sun for the last six hours.
“Made pretty good progress this morning,” Ian finally said, voice faraway, like he was somewhere in his mind calculating how long it was going to take to get this place whipped into shape.
Fucking forever, that was how long. The porch was barely scratching the surface.
“Going to need to hire a crew,” I said, looking toward the peeling paint on the porch overhead.
“Know some guys,” Felix said. “I did a bunch of construction in the past. I could get you in touch with some guys who could help you out.”
I sat forward. “Really?”
“Sure.”
I glanced at Faith, who sent me one of those wistful, sad smiles.
Like she still couldn’t understand why I wanted to do any of this for her.
Why she deserved it.
When the girl deserved the entire world to be placed at her feet.
Everything I possessed.
I bit those thoughts back, my mind and heart going a direction it couldn’t go. I cleared my throat and broke the connection, swinging my attention back to Felix. “That would be great. If you want to get everyone together Monday morning.”
“Absolutely.”
Faith suddenly shot up. “Where’s Bailey?”
In a second flat, both Mack and I were on our feet, heading down the porch steps.
That feeling swept over me. Something possessive and protective that I was pretty sure could suck the life out of me.
Then I sagged when I saw Bailey coming up around the side of the house, gliding across the lawn, which was hugged by the sprawling rose gardens and the massive house.
She was grinning.
Grinning her sweet little grin, carrying that damned Beast that I half wanted to rip out of her arms and shred, or maybe press my face to it, breathe it in like it might be able to bring us back to that day so I could be that guy I’d wanted to be.