“It’s not that, it’s just…” Nick sank into the couch, resting his forearms on his knees. Guilt emanated until she thought she might choke on it.
“Look.” She laid a hand on his burdened shoulder. “I know you love me. I never knew my mother, never even knew she was gone, and you filled that role, you—”
“You knew.”
“What?”
“You knew about having a mother. I held you in that church next to three teenage boys all determined not to shed a tear. But as they pushed the caskets by…even at two years old you were smart enough to know and you screamed for her. God, you screamed, until I thought the stained glass in the windows would shatter. You cried for weeks, months, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do.”
She looked at the man who’d been everything to her. Her parents. Her brother. Her hero. “You did it. You were there.” But he needed to let go, just a little, for both their sakes.
“Mia thinks Stephen might be good for me.”
“I don’t give a damn what Mia thinks.”
“Why? Why would you say that?”
“Because I don’t trust her, especially when it comes to you. And you knew that or you wouldn’t have kept it a secret.”
Maybe, but she was still surprised by the level of animosity. He’d loved her once. “What’s the deal, Nick?”
“There is no deal. It was a long time ago and I had a lot going on. Doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me. Especially since I was the lot going on.”
“I don’t want to talk about Mia.”
She cocked her head at him. “No. You want to talk about Stephen.”
“Damn it.” Nick dropped his head in his hands. “I really hate that guy.”
She couldn’t help but smile at her large-and-in-charge brother’s pouty tone. “It must be hard for you, so used to giving orders and watching people jump.”
He gave her a look.
“You know I’m right. And I’m glad. I love my scary FBI brother. But you have to know it’s not going to translate here.” She motioned between the two of them. “I need to act normal, do normal things, if I ever want to feel normal. And I do, Nick. I’ve been doing more hiding than living. Stephen makes me forget.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. That you’ll forget. That you’ll get hurt.” His phone buzzed and he checked the screen. “Shit. I have to go.”
“That’s fine. I have an appointment to get ready for.”
He stood. “Don’t see him anymore, Hannah. Don’t give me one more thing to worry about.”
“Make things right with Mia. Don’t give me one more thing to feel guilty about.”
He showed no sign he meant to comply. Neither did she.
Chapter 26
Stephen finished up another day with more than work on his mind. He’d checked in with Hannah last night, a phone call, a text. But it wasn’t enough and he meant to change that. Immediately. He just had one person to see first.
He packed away his laptop, stuck in a few files. “I’m heading out.”
“Out?” his admin repeated. “Are you ill?”
“I’m fine, Dee. I have a meeting.”
“Oh.” Dee’s shocked expression faded to understanding. “A business meeting. Then I’ll see you Monday.”
“See you Monday.” He smiled as he passed and didn’t correct her. It wasn’t business, it was more important than that.
He spent the short drive to the Norfolk FBI office thinking about just how important it was. And convincing himself he was doing the right thing.
After passing through several security measures and waiting while Hannah’s brother verified his visit, he was allowed through. Stephen paused at the door with a frosted glass window. Very seventies. But he was in the right place, the brass label read SA Walker.
His knock was answered with a terse “Come in.” Stephen opened the door and got a good look at Hannah’s brother before he bothered to look up. Head down, eyes on one of the many papers scattered across his desk amid mugs, soda cans, and a balled-up Taco Bell wrapper. He looked intense and irritated. He was about to get more so. He closed the door with a click behind him.
“McKinney. As if my day couldn’t get any worse.”
“Good to see you too, Walker.”
“What the hell do you want?”
“I want to talk to you about Hannah.”
Nick picked up a mug, started to take a sip, then thought better of it. “Try again. Because that’s the last thing I’m talking about with you. Other than to go over all the various ways I can keep you away from her.”
Stephen held his ground. “You can try. I’ve got something to say and I’ll say it. But before I get to that…” He walked farther into the room but didn’t sit. This was difficult. As difficult as anything he’d ever done. “She told me some of it. I want to hear all of it. Need to hear all of it.”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
“No. You don’t. But I care about your sister.”
A multitude of expressions passed over the agent’s face. Possibly debating the merits of having him bodily removed and dumped in a ravine. But something won out, and he raked his hands over his face like he was rubbing away a bad memory.
“How did you find her?” Stephen prompted when Nick didn’t answer right away.