No matter what anyone said, I couldn’t shake the feeling that his dying was on me. He was my informant, and he paid for that indiscretion with his life. I knew that Eddie was by no means a stand-up guy. He was a scumbag who only turned informant to protect his own ass. He knew what he risked by being a snitch, but I still never wanted him to die for it. I’d promised him on multiple occasions that I’d always do my best to keep him safe, but couldn’t help feeling as if I’d failed him in some way, even though what had happened was beyond my control.
“Oh, Dalton, I’m so sorry.” Cammie’s voice pulled me back into the present as I sighed into the phone. “When are you coming home?”
“When do you want me to come home?” I decided to turn her questions around on her, hoping it would get her to admit she wanted me back and put me in a better mood where I felt less like a pile of shit.
She breathed out a laugh into the line. “I want you here right now. I have so much I want to tell you, Dalton, but I don’t want to do it over the phone.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Any idea when that will be?”
“Probably not before a couple of days. Can you wait that long?” I asked, hoping she’d give me a fucking hint as to where her head was at, even though I sensed we were going to be okay.
“I guess. I mean, I wanted to bake some cookies for you, but I don’t want them to go bad,” she said with a hint of a smile in her voice.
My mouth watered at the thought. “I love your cookies.”
“I’ve heard. I’ll wait for you to get here. Dalton, I’m really sorry for everything. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I want you to at least know that much.”
I couldn’t stop the ridiculous grin that covered my face. “Don’t be sorry. I completely understand, and I’m sorry for not driving that day and leaving my phone in my car. I really hate being away from you.” All I wanted to do was pull this girl into my arms and never let go.
“That makes two of us.”
When her voice turned into a soft whisper, I could picture her lips in my mind as she spoke. I wanted those lips all over me.
“Don’t talk like that, babe. You’re turning me on.” I stared down at the bulge growing in my pants.
She laughed. “Well, that sucks for one of us. I’m not entirely sure which one. Hey, speaking of dicks.” She huffed out another laugh, and I wondered where she was going with this. “I can’t believe you went and saw my mom! What the hell did you say to her anyway?”
“She didn’t tell you?” I asked, my tone incredulous.
“Obviously not if I’m asking you,” she huffed out.
“Well, then. I’m not telling you either.”
“I hate you both. But I bet I can figure out a way to get it out of you,” she teased, and my dick sprang to life again.
“Damn it, Cammie.”
She was right. I’d tell that girl anything she wanted to know for the rest of my life, as long as she was by my side. And she wouldn’t even have to work that hard, but I planned on leaving that part out if she asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Kind of. Hurry home. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“’Bye, Dalton.”
“’Bye, babe.”
As thankful as I was for that phone call, it only made me want to hop on a plane and hustle my ass straight to her house to work our relationship out. I walked into my boss’s office to see what else I needed to do, and to see how quickly I could get back to LA.
I needed to see my girl.
And eat some cookies.
Love Is Worth the Risk
Cammie
I couldn’t believe that Dalton was back on the East Coast and our conversation would have to wait. Served me right for waiting so long to contact him in the first place.
Instead of calling him the second I left my mom’s house, I forced myself not to call. I wanted to take the time to really think about things, like I had promised myself I would.
It had been a full week since I’d kicked him out, telling him I couldn’t be with him. It had been hellish, and each time I reached for the phone to call him, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to him if I wasn’t completely convinced that I could truly do this with him. I needed to be all-in, because I knew in my heart that he was. Dalton had been all-in the moment he arrived at the reunion and basically spilled his guts to me.
The thing was, I still had some of my own grieving to do. I spent four nights crying, letting emotions out that I’d kept locked inside while I tried to be strong for my mom and everyone else after my dad died, even though I knew now that no one expected me to be. It wasn’t that I never cried when I lost my dad, but I sucked a lot of it in and held it there.
It was so cathartic to finally let go of the pain that had become such an integral part of me. I released a lot of it, and suddenly felt like something was missing as my body lightened. I expected to feel free, but instead I felt vulnerable without it, almost naked.
My mom’s words had truly made an impact on me when it came to Dalton and my heart. I needed to hear her perspective and her advice. Kristy had been completely right about that one, much to her satisfaction that she constantly rubbed in my face.
Work had been a helpful distraction over the past week. The guys rarely asked me about Dalton, and were smart enough to smile and pretend to buy my responses. Everyone believed that Dalton and I were completely happy and doing well. Not that I ever planned to admit otherwise to them.