But this is Jordan.
And I’m about eighty-five percent sure I can trust him. He’s given me no reason to not. And yes, I know Forbes came across as trustworthy in the beginning, but back then I was naïve and a fool.
I’m not that person anymore. I know the signs to look for, and I see none of them in Jordan.
There’s no over the top niceness, which is there in the beginning to hide the monster lying in wait. There’s no control in his personality. He is just who he is. If anything, Jordan has been really open and honest with me about his past.
If all he cared about is tricking me and getting me where he wants me – in his bed and under his control – that wouldn’t be the way. And men like that are not honest. Not right away, anyway.
Jordan’s fun. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel happiness in a way I’ve never known. I love being around him, and I think I deserve some fun; some happiness and laughter in my life.
And really, it is just one date. It’s not as if I’m marrying the guy.
I should just go out with him tonight and see how it goes. I’ve got absolutely nothing to lose, and we won’t be alone. Beth will be there with her date too.
It’ll be fine.
Taking a deep breath, I survey myself in the mirror.
I wasn’t sure what to wear. Jordan said I shouldn’t wear anything I’m too attached to as apparently it’s a paint party at the club tonight. I’ve never heard of that before, but it sounds fun, if not a little messy. But I’m all up for trying new things at the moment.
I’m not really a dancer, and I’m not attached to any of my clothes, so it’s not too difficult for me to choose what to wear. It’s a really warm evening, so I’ve decided to wear a white tank top and khaki linen pants. I’ve accessorized with a cute black and white bead necklace and matching bracelet that I picked up while shopping with Jordan yesterday.
I want to look as nice as possible, but I don’t have a lot to work with here. Not much can be done with my short hair, but the style has really grown on me and it looks cool.
I’ve applied some make-up – mascara, blusher and lip-gloss. I also used cover-up as there is still a trace of yellow bruising around my eye. No hiding the cut on my brow, but it’s healing nicely.
I’m just fastening the laces on my sneakers when there’s a knock at the door.
My date is here.
A swarm of fireflies takes flight in my stomach. I quickly finish off tying up my lace and get to my feet, taking deep breaths as I approach the door. I open it to a ‘more gorgeous than normal looking’ Jordan.
He’s only wearing a plain black t-shirt and distressed jeans. White sneakers on his feet. Simple, but oh so effective. Jordan makes anything look good.
I can see that he’s shaved as his stubble from earlier is gone. His dark hair is in its trademark style. My fingers itch to run through the silky strands.
I can smell his aftershave. Clean and fresh. He smells as gorgeous as he looks; exactly as a man should smell. I have to resist the urge to lean close and inhale.
He runs a hand through his shiny hair. “You look great—” He shakes his head. “—I mean, pretty. You look real pretty, Mia.”
I curl my fingers around the beads, holding them like a life support. “Thanks, you too. Not pretty – handsome. I mean you look handsome.” God, kill me now.
Jordan chuckles and leans his shoulder up against the door frame. “Are you ready to go? I told Beth we’d pick her up at eight, so we need to set off soon.”
“Sure. Let me just grab my things.”
I decide against taking a purse with me, so I put my room key, money and lip-gloss into my pocket while Jordan waits in the hall. I let the door lock behind me, then follow him out the hotel and to his car.
He opens the passenger door for me. No one has ever done that before, and I can’t help but smile at his gesture. I slip into the seat and watch as Jordan rounds the hood. The way his body moves with such confident ease … it’s so attractive on him. I wish I was that comfortable in my own skin.
He climbs in next to me.
There’s a quiet unease between us. I know I’m the cause of it because of my nerves at being on a date with him, but I’m really missing the ease we normally have between us. I do want to be on a date with Jordan, I just don’t like the pressure it’s putting on me … or the pressure I’m putting on myself.
He starts the engine and the radio fills the empty background, but the silence between us is still palpable.
“Are you okay?” His softly spoken words bring my face to him.
I wring my hands in my lap. “Just a little nervous, I guess.”
“About?”
“Being on a date.” I twist the beads around my finger. “I just … I haven’t…” I shake my head, struggling to find the right words to explain my feelings.
“Hey…” He gently touches my chin with his finger.
I love the way his touch feels. I never thought it would be possible, and I’ll never tire of him touching me, but I just wish I knew how to tell him. How to express how he makes me feel … how I feel about him. I know I’m not what he’s used to, and I know I won’t ever be able to be like those women. I’m afraid I’m going to be a disappointment to him.
“… there is nothing to be nervous about. We’re just going out to have some fun, dance and get sprayed with paint.” He grins.