We haven’t slept together yet—but I’m ready. I want to show him with my mind and heart and body how much I love him.
“Want to go to your room?” I whisper, my intent clear.
His expression grows heated, full of love and passion, but he shakes his head. “Let’s wait until after the meet.”
“You’re sure?”
Levi cuddles me close. “I’m very happy right now.”
“Me too.”
At least until Coach Josh shows up on the pool deck and orders us all to bed.
As Susannah and I are getting ready for sleep, putting on pajamas, brushing our teeth, and washing faces, she asks me yet again if I’ve slept with Levi.
“No.”
“Are you going to tell me when you do?”
“No.”
“C’mon!” she whines. “I’ll tell you when I do it with Jason.”
Shocked, I accidentally drop my toothbrush. It clangs into the sink. “You’re gonna do it with Jason? That’s swimcest!”
She smirks. “Look who’s talking.”
“Are you guys going to start dating?”
Susannah shrugs. “I’d be into it if he is. He’s pretty hot, right?”
“Yup.”
“I have an idea! I’ll tell him I need to sleep in his room tonight because you and Levi want alone time.”
I inhale sharply, loving the idea of spending the night with Levi. But I don’t want it to interfere with my race tomorrow. On the other hand, being in his arms helps me sleep better.
“Okay,” I say with a smile, as my heart begins to race.
Susannah checks her reflection in the mirror, then opens the hotel room door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
A minute later, a knock sounds on the door. With a deep breath, I open it to reveal a barefoot Levi in track pants and a soft gray T-shirt.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I reply quietly.
“Susannah sent me over. She said something about you wanting to be alone with me?” he flirts.
I give him a teasing smile. “I need another lesson.”
“Oh yeah?” He steps into the room, dead bolting the door behind him, and in less time than it takes to swim a fifty-meter sprint, he has our pajamas off and strewn across the carpet. He lays me back on the bed, his hands depressing the pillow on either side of me as he kisses my lips. The minty taste of toothpaste fills my mouth. His weight presses between my legs, and in no time at all he has me panting. Panting, and wanting more.
“Are you sure you don’t want to do it tonight?” I whisper.
His eyes meet mine. “I’d love to, but I don’t want you to have any regrets tomorrow during the meet. It’s too important.”
“I won’t regret it, I promise, it’s just…”
“It’s just what?” he asks sweetly.
I weave a hand through his blond hair, taking him all in. “I want it to be good for you.”
His eyebrows furrow. “You’re worried about that?”
“Yeah, I mean, you’ve been with other girls.”
He kisses me deeply. “You’re the best kisser I’ve ever had. The best hugger. The best hand holder. The best everything. It’s because of you—because we’re right for each other.”
I sigh deeply, nuzzling my face in his throat. “So you’ll teach me what to do, right?”
“Mags, I think it’s gonna be the other way around…”
“I have no idea what I’m doing. What could I possibly teach you?”
“I don’t know, but,” he takes a deep breath, “you taught me how to love.”
I caress up and down his back. “I love you too.”
“Do you have those condoms you bought at the store?”
I take a sharp breath. “In my bag.”
He finds the protection and brings one to the bed. “I want you to know I’m clean, okay?”
I nod, happy to know it, and glad we’re going into this with no secrets. No regrets.
Just love and passion and friendship.
• • •
The next morning, I am amped up. My body feels great, and my stress is gone. This meet is mine.
At the pool, “Spring Spotlight” banners hang from the rafters, where clusters of chatting swimmers make predictions for today. Music blares from the speakers. The water is a gleaming pearl blue. The facility smells fresh, and the air feels charged with energy, like right before a lightning storm.
I take deep, steadying breaths in the shower, and out on the pool deck, I make sure to stretch all my limbs really well. Levi even makes time to massage the shoulder that gives me problems, his thumb expertly working that annoying spot. I lean my head back to stare up at him.
“Thank you,” I say, and he dips over and kisses me upside down, Spider-Man style. After last night, I feel closer to him than ever before, and I love that my best friend was my first. It wasn’t flawless—it took us a bit to find the right angle and our rhythm, but in the end it was perfect.
I run into Roxy at the practice lanes. “Good luck!” I call to her. She gives me a head nod but otherwise ignores me. And I’m happy with that. I won’t bother her, and she won’t bother me. Today is between me and the water.
The prelims for 200 free and back go okay. I get placed in the A final for 200 free and B final for 200 back, which kind of sucks. I always thought 200 back was my best event, but maybe Coach is right. Maybe I’m evolving. Not that I won’t continue to swim my butt off in that race, but I’m open to new options. Like 400 free. For an event I’ve never done in long course, I do great in the prelims thanks to my endurance and get put into the A final. To qualify for the trials, I need a 4:17.99.
While waiting on the finals later in the day, Levi and I hover near the pool with Jason and Susannah, cheering on our teammates. Levi stands right behind me, pressing his chest to my back, kissing the top of my head.
“I was thinking,” he whispers in my ear. “Later we should play sharks and minnows. I’ll be the minnow this time, and you’ll be the big, mean shark that comes after me. And when you catch me, you can—”
“Maggie, you’re on!” Coach calls. It’s time to warm up for the 400 free final. Levi gives me a good luck hug.
After a few laps in the warm up pool, I step up to the blocks, adjusting the straps of my suit and tightening my goggles one last time. I shake my arms out and slap my muscles. The announcer says, “On your mark.”
One last deep breath.
The buzzer sounds and I fly off the blocks.
People are cheering as I pull myself along on top of the water. Out of the corner of my eye, I see other swimmers accelerating. But Coach’s voice is clear in my mind: you’ll catch them on the back end. Stay steady. In the second half of the race, I go after it, working to close the gap. I focus on keeping my elbows high to maintain a smooth, steady stroke. Kick, kick, kick. On the final fifty, I try to improve a little, kicking harder with my legs while keeping the same tempo with my arms. I twirl around to face the scoreboard. Third place! My time is 4:15.89! Two seconds faster than I needed!
“Oh my God!” I scream, slapping the water. I did it!
It was such a fast heat two other girls also get Olympic trial cuts. The announcer shouts over the loudspeaker that we’re going to Omaha. Tears roll down my cheeks. All my hard work, years upon years in the pool, led to me having awesome endurance. It led me to this moment.
In June, I will be going to the biggest meet of my life!
Coach Josh gives me a big hug, and then I rush for my boyfriend. He lifts me up into his arms, spins me in a circle (which is probably an unsanctioned activity), and kisses me in front of a cheering crowd. Everything is great until Jason runs up and smacks me on the butt with a kickboard.
When I call Mom and Dad, they scream congratulations over and over, which is pretty funny considering they are catering a library fund-raiser tonight. It’s fun to imagine the librarians shushing them.
Then Levi and I sit in the stands to watch the rest of the finals and cheer for New Wave. My heart won’t stop racing. My smile feels permanently glued to my face. I can’t sit still. I did it!