Maybe sometimes a little change is good.
• • •
I smile at myself in the mirror.
On the night of the pajama party, I put on my pajamas and some light makeup. I even straighten my hair into a long, brown, shiny curtain. It looks good.
When I go downstairs before my first ever date, Mom gives me a hug. “You look so grown-up.”
Meanwhile, Dad is horrified. “Go change your clothes right now.”
I glance down at my outfit. I’m not even showing cleavage! “Everything is covered up.” I pause to take in what Mom and Dad are wearing—matching onesies that make them look like human-sized sock monkeys. “Besides, your outfits are frightening. You will scare little kids.”
“That’s all part of my plan,” Dad says with a laugh.
The doorbell rings. Before the sock monkeys embarrass me, I rush to answer the front door. It’s Noah.
He scans my outfit. “Wow, you look great.”
I check him out too. He’s wearing a dark green bathrobe. Hmm. Very dad-like. Noah’s pajamas do not elicit a “wow” from me, that’s for sure. But then, Levi could pick me up in the rattiest pajamas ever, and I’d still be beaming.
Noah escorts me out to his car and opens the passenger door for me. I slide inside, wondering if I should be going on a date with a guy I don’t have feelings for. I don’t want to hurt him. Even if Levi is going with Rebecca and their dogs, it isn’t fair to Noah to lead him on. I need to tell him. I don’t want to hurt him the way I was hurt before.
Before he starts the engine, I reach over and rest a hand on his forearm. “Noah, I need to tell you something.”
He turns to me. “Yeah?”
“Tonight…can we go as friends?”
His eyebrows furrow. “You mean you don’t want this to be a date?”
“I was really looking forward to this, but I’m not sure I have romantic feelings for you. I’d rather go as friends.”
He lets out a long breath of air. “Sure. Friends. We can do that.”
The pajama party is taking place at the Franklin town square, and it spills over onto the fairgrounds. A Ferris wheel circles through the night sky, and the moon bounce looks supremely bouncy.
It’s so crowded we have to park on the road about half a mile away and walk up to the party. Our first stop is the fire department, where they have two big engines out front for kids to climb all over and explore. Noah is excited to hop up and pretend to drive the wheel. Meanwhile, I’m excited to check out the firefighters, who do elicit a wow from me. And I thought swimmers had muscles.
Once Noah’s done on the fire truck, he hops back to the ground in his bathrobe. “Want to go check out the photo booth?”
“Okay.”
We chat as we walk over to the photo area. Diane Musgrave set up a studio where people could have their picture taken in front of various world landmarks, like the Pyramids at Giza and the Great Wall of China. Dad did the same thing last year with his Kimono themed party: people could have their picture made with a field of cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji, or Japan’s Imperial Palace.
But the line is really long.
“Do you want to do something else?” Noah asks.
“Yes, please,” I reply, and explain about my dad’s rivalry with Musgrave.
“Why doesn’t he sue her for copying his ideas?”
“I don’t think it works like that.”
Noah and I get in line for the bumper cars and then race our little cars around the rink. I discover I’m just as scared of driving these as driving a regular car. Idiots from school keep ramming me head-on, jolting my bones. This better not mess me up for swim practice tomorrow.
When that horror is over, Noah leads me to the dance. Musgrave really missed the mark here. Instead of making this barn look like an elegant ballroom in a German castle or something, she decorated it to look like an Amazon jungle…? Monkey sounds fall from strategically placed speakers.
This will give Dad a coronary.
“Want to dance?” Noah asks.
The last time I slow danced was with Dad at my aunt’s wedding a couple years ago, and I stepped all over his feet, so I hope I can manage dancing with a guy. I mean, I swim a flawless backstroke—I should be able to shuffle my feet back and forth. My hands go to Noah’s shoulders and he holds my waist. We sway slowly during the song. Being in his arms doesn’t feel right though. It’s like listening to an off-pitch singer.
If a bad song comes on the radio, you turn it off. What am I doing here?
I want to go find Levi.
“Noah,” I start. “I need—”
Before I can get out the rest of my speech, he leans forward and kisses me. I break away. I didn’t feel even the slightest spark.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I can’t.”
“Was it that bad?”
“Huh?”
“The kiss?” he mumbles, ruffling and flattening his hair, embarrassed.
“Oh, I liked the kiss. It’s just…”
He puts some distance between us. “You love Levi?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah, I kind of figured.” He blows out a heavy breath of air. “But since you’re not with him, I thought I’d see if something’s there between you and me. You’re so nice…”
“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I don’t really know what I’m doing—I haven’t dated anyone before.”
“I get what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only guy who hasn’t had a girlfriend,” he says quietly.
A few months ago, I thought I was going to be the only college student who’d never had sex or fooled around. But that can’t be true. Everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to this stuff. Georgia is taking things slow with David. It took her a couple weeks to share that he’d asked her out. Meanwhile, Hunter wants Shelby on a serious emotional level while she only wants the physical. Noah’s a super cute basketball player who hasn’t had a girlfriend. And that’s fine.
Why was I trying to force myself to move more quickly than was natural?
I guess Levi was right all along. He told me to wait until I found someone I cared about. And it doesn’t even have to be someone I love, just someone I feel something for. And as nice as Noah is, I don’t feel anything for him. Not like Levi.
I feel a lot for Levi.
Noah looks upset as he pulls his car keys out of his bathrobe pocket, and I feel terrible I hurt him. Maybe it was selfish of me to keep this date.
“Can I take you home?” he asks.
“I think I’ll hang out here for a bit.”
“Me too.”
After a good-bye hug, Noah joins a group of guys from the basketball team who are hanging out with some girls from school. I hope one of them likes him and is deserving. He’s a great guy, even if he’s not the one for me.
I take off for the catering tent where I know I’ll find Mom and Dad. I need to test Diane Musgrave’s food they’ve been talking/complaining about for weeks.
In the tent, I find Levi. I thought he was coming with Rebecca and their dogs. But I only see Levi. Mom the sock monkey is pointing at various hors d’oeuvres, and he’s sampling them one by one. Oh. My. God. He’s wearing Superman pajamas! His body really fills them out in all the right places. I swallow hard.
I walk over to them as Levi tries a tiny egg roll.
“It all tastes bland to me,” he says through a mouthful. “It needs some King’s secret sauce.”
“Don’t let my husband hear you say that,” Mom replies. “He’ll be drizzling that stuff on everything.”
“Hi,” I say.
Levi looks up from his egg roll and gapes at my pajamas. He looks me up and down, and starts choking.
Mom slaps his back and asks, “How’s your date going, Tadpole?”
“It’s over already,” I say, and Levi’s eyes dart to mine.
“Is everything okay?” Mom rushes to ask.
“It was fine… It just wasn’t going to work out.” I turn to Levi. “Can I talk to you?”