“Well, thank God! You could have told me that in the first place,” Bailey chastised.
“I’m heading home. You coming?”
“Not yet. I still have to finish some stuff first. I’ll see you there.” Bailey sat in her cubicle and typed furiously.
Caroline headed toward the local deli to grab a sandwich before they closed. She squinted as she saw a couple headed toward her. Was that Clay? Her feet stopped. She was certain it was him. Walking with another girl? Was that his girlfriend? Had he moved on already?
Caroline chastised herself. It wasn’t any of her business. She had given up all rights to know about Clay’s personal life when she decided not to be a part of it. She continued walking, each step bringing her closer to him. Clay’s pace slowed to a stop and Caroline did the same.
“Hi, Care,” Clay’s voice wavered. “Uh, this is Gina. We work together.”
Caroline reached out and shook the pretty girl’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Gina.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Gina smiled and turned to face Clay, “I’ll give you some time alone.” She squeezed Clay’s shoulder before walking toward a corner store.
Caroline did her best to play the uncaring, totally-over-it ex-girlfriend—um, ex-fiancée—but this was harder than she ever would have thought. Her chest felt tight as jealousy filled her every pore. She knew that logically she didn’t want Clay back, but the truth was that she didn’t want to see him with anyone else either. She felt irrational and immature.
“It’s good to see you,” Clay said.
Caroline swallowed hard. “You too. Gina seems nice and she’s really pretty.” Caroline forced a smile.
“She is nice. We’re just friends, though.” Clay insisted as he looked in Gina’s direction. “She’s just really been there for me, you know?”
“That’s great…” Caroline fought to hold back her jealousy, “that you have someone to talk to about everything.”
Clay cringed and then asked, “So, how’s Jackson? Any change in his condition?”
Caroline’s eyes widened with surprise. “No. They aren’t sure he’ll wake up. And if he does, there’s no guarantee that he’ll be the same.” She fought to hold back the tears that formed.
He reached out his hand and put it on her shoulder. “I’m sure he will. He’ll be okay.”
Caroline knew Clay didn’t have to say that. He didn’t have to ask about Jackson. Hell, he didn’t even have to stop and talk to her at all.
“Thanks,” she said, as she looked down at the ground. “I’m really sorry about everything, Clay. Truly I am. I never meant to hurt you.” Her eyes met his.
Clay nodded. “I know. I’ve done a lot of thinking these past couple of months. You know, I never should have proposed to you that night anyway.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
“I just mean…” He arched his eyebrows while he thought for a moment. “I did it for all the wrong reasons. I mean, I knew something was off between us. And instead of trying to figure out what it was, I just tried to fix it.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I thought proposing would solve everything and make whatever it was that was wrong…right. I thought it would instantly make you happy again.”
Caroline refused to let Clay shoulder any blame. “But I should have talked to you. I should have told you what was going on with me. I should have been honest, but I was too busy trying to fight off everything I was feeling. I tried to pretend that I was okay, when I wasn’t.”
“But I knew you weren’t okay. And I didn’t even try to talk to you about it. In all honesty, you were the last person I ever worried about losing or falling apart. I feel like I took you for granted.” His head shook.
“You’d never had a reason to worry before. This thing with Jackson…it was beyond any of our control. I know it sounds stupid, but it was never about you and me. I knew how much you loved me, Clay, and I never felt taken for granted.” She longed for her truth to comfort him.
“Thank you,” Clay responded, his mouth unsmiling and his gaze sincere.
“I mean it. I really am sorry.” The pain she caused still burdened her.
“I know you are.” Clay shifted his weight. “Look, Care, I used to want to make you hurt just as badly as I did. But now that feels like a long time ago. I don’t want you to be upset any more. I really am okay. And I want you to be, too.”
She was happily surprised when he leaned in to hug her. Her body warmed in his familiar arms as she spoke gently in his ear. “Thank you so much. I wish you the best in everything. You truly deserve it.”
Clay smiled and as Caroline started to walk away, she heard him call her name. Her stomach dipped as she turned to face him. “I forgive you.” He looked at his feet and then back up into her eyes. “I think I understand why you did what you did.”
It was as if an SUV lifted off of her shoulders and the blame she carried shattered to the ground at her feet. She almost fell to the sidewalk in relief, but braced herself against a cement parking meter. “Thank you, Clay,” she answered through her tears as she watched him continue down the street with Gina at his side.
Her body felt light and each breath filled her with relief. She hadn’t realized the extent of the guilt she had been carrying until it fell free from her. She had lived with it for so long that it had become a part of her. In hoping that her words could help him heal, he had just given her the ultimate gift…the gift of forgiveness.