Bailey walked by her desk quickly without stopping. “Anything yet?”
Caroline simply shook her head and Bailey mouthed, “I’m sorry” as she continued on to the conference room.
****
Jackson laughed in his hospital bed as Sally told him about a funny incident at the bar. Alex leaned in the doorway and watched Sally’s interaction with Jackson. He had tried to be patient, wanting to ask his best friend about Caroline, but once again it seemed like a bad time. Sally was always in Jackson’s room whenever Alex dropped in, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
When Jackson first awoke, he couldn’t speak clearly and had been in intense physical and speech therapy ever since. Sally made a point to be at the hospital as much as possible, and Alex knew that her support had been good for Jackson.
Jackson joked with Sally like old times, and Alex smiled in relief at the improvement he noticed. His friend was more and more like his old self every day. Maybe there was no time like the present.
“So…” Alex ventured. “How are things with Caroline?” Sally stiffened and leaned back slightly.
Jackson’s brows furrowed and he dropped Sally’s hand. “What do you mean?”
“Haven’t you talked to her?” Alex asked pointedly.
“No. Why would I?”
“She was here, you know.” Alex glanced at Sally. “You did know she was here, right?”
Jackson started fidgeting in his bed. “No, I didn’t. How would I know that if no one told me? When was she here?”
“When you first got into the accident…she came to the hospital.”
“She came here? She flew…out here?” Jackson’s face froze and his eyes were unfocused as he obviously struggled to understand.
“Yeah, I thought you knew that.” Alex shrugged.
“How the hell would I know that?” Jackson shouted, his color rising as his temper flared.
“Because she left you a letter!” Alex retorted.
“What letter?” he asked in disbelief..
Alex looked in Sally’s direction. “Sal, you never gave him the letter?”
****
An agitated heat swirled throughout Jackson’s body. None of this made sense…could Caroline have really come to the hospital? He didn’t remember any of it. He frowned at Sally, whose face had turned pale. Slowly, she picked up her purse and pulled out the tattered envelope that had “Jackson” written on the front in blue ink.
“I’m sorry. I should have given this to you weeks ago.” Her hands quivered as she handed Jackson the envelope.
“You’ve had a letter from Caroline this whole time?” Jackson asked, his voice dangerously soft. “You kept it from me?”
“I’m so sorry, Jackson. I was supposed to give it to you when you woke up, but I panicked.” Sally shifted in her chair and pulled her purse closer to her body. She glanced up at Alex for support, but he looked away.
“You panicked? You knew how I felt about her.” Jackson struggled to keep his temper in check as his voice rose and his face flushed with color.
Sally stuttered, her voice shaking. “It just happened so fast after you woke up. For the first time, you actually needed me. And I didn’t want to lose that…I didn’t want to lose you.” She reached out to touch his arm, but drew back as he stiffened.
Sally leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. “But I realize now that I never truly had you in the first place, so you can’t lose something you don’t have, right?”
Jackson refused to look at her. Without a word he yanked the envelope from Sally’s hand and opened it carefully. He unfolded the piece of paper and read it to himself.
Dear Jackson,
You once told me that we were like two ships passing in the night…that we had found each other, but couldn’t be together because there were forces, situations, or other things that we couldn’t overcome. And for a long time, I believed the words that you wrote to me. I had to. I knew that what we’d found in one another was truly rare, but I held on to the notion that we simply weren’t meant to be. As painful as that notion was, I chose to accept it the same way you had.
But now, as I sit in the hospital where you lie helplessly in a room down the hall, I wonder if they weren’t so much situations we couldn’t overcome, as much as situations we chose not to. And by we, I really mean me.
I sit here unsure of your feelings for me and I think I finally understand how you must have felt all along. And I can never apologize enough for the pain I caused you. As hard as it was for me, I know it was harder for you. And for that, I am truly sorry.
It took almost losing you for me to see that there is no one else I want to be with other than you. There’s nothing more I’d rather do than sit in that room by your side every moment until you open those beautiful blue eyes and look at me again, but I’m not naïve enough to think that your life hasn’t continued on without me (Sally is fantastic by the way). I don’t want to assume that I still hold a place in your world. But if I do…and if you still want to be with me the way I desperately know I want to be with you…then call me when you wake up and I’ll be on the next flight out.
I love you…I always have. I was just too stupid, or cautious, or filled with worry and guilt to do anything about it. I’m finally ready to follow my heart—and all roads lead to your door.
xoxo, Caroline