My jaw was on the floor.
I caught her as she jumped into my arms and straddled me, her hands diving into my hair, her sweet lips on my mouth. I walked backward down the dark hallway to a stairway and looked up. “No, my room is here. End of the hall to the left.”
Pressing her against the wall, I kissed her from her mouth to her neck to her ear and back to her shoulder where I tried to catch my breath. When I set her down, she reached for my shirt and pulled it over my head, then took my hand and led me to her bedroom.
Standing near the bed, she tugged at my belt, fumbling with it.
“Slow down, Gracie.”
“No one has ever said those words to me.” She undid my belt and pulled my pants and boxers down as I kicked off my shoes. She was different from college Grace. I could see that now. She was more confident, more self-assured.
I took her face between my hands. Even in her dark room, with little more than the glow from the streetlights streaming through the window, I could see that her eyes were bright, brilliant, and full of wonder. “I want to slow down, otherwise this won’t be fun for you,” I said.
She nodded and we kissed again, but sweeter and slower this time. I ran my hand down her neck to the top of her breast and traced the line of her bra with my fingertip. I kissed a trail down her neck while my hands unclasped her bra in the back, letting it fall to the ground. She was more beautiful somehow now, though I didn’t think that was possible. Her body was still so soft and smooth, but it was also womanly, strong, exquisite, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I had an urge to find a camera but an even stronger urge to touch her. “God,” was all I could say as she leaned into me, finding my mouth again.
I pulled away. “Let me look at you.” Dropping to my knees, I took her panties with me to the ground and kissed her stomach, her thighs, the space between her legs. There was no sound but my lips on her body and her soft breaths, getting faster and faster, more urgent, until she moaned from her chest.
“I want you, Matt.” Her voice was strained.
My hands were moving of their own accord now. I sat on the edge of the bed and she climbed into my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist. She started to move against me, and I thought I was gonna lose it.
“Grace?”
“Shh, Matt.” She ran her hand down my jawline. “I like this. It’s sexy. You’re sexier now, more defined . . . bigger.” She giggled.
I wanted to be inside of her so bad. “I need to tell you something,” I said.
“Okay.” She kissed my neck more slowly but continued the subtle movements of her body.
“I’ve thought about doing this with you a lot over the last fifteen years. Is that weird?”
She leaned back and smiled. “If you’re weird, then I’m weird, too.”
“Yeah . . . but I like that about you.” I grinned.
She thrust her hips against me and I moaned. “Make love to me,” she said.
I plunged my face into her neck, kissing her feverishly, as I stood, her legs still wrapped around me. I lay her across the bed and stepped back to look at her. She sat up and pulled me down, her legs spread wide and her body warm, welcoming me. She guided me inside of her, and like any typical man, all thoughts were swept from my mind.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered as I slowed my movements, trying to prevent any premature embarrassment. Two cautious thrusts and I was back in control, but Grace was falling apart around me.
“Just gooooo, Matt.”
“You feel so good,” I whispered against her ear. My lips met her neck just as her back arched and her head pressed hard against the bed. I felt her pulsing around me, and I was a goner, sliding into temporary death.
I collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. She reached down and took my hand in hers and held it between us like she needed to hang on to something. I rolled to my side. “I’m not going anywhere, Gracie.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“No matter what happens?”
I pulled her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her. “What’s going on with you?”
She buried her face in my chest. “I was never convinced that you moved on just like that. I had to accept it, but you weren’t there to tell me if it was true or not. The letter was so unlike you, so indifferent. I couldn’t believe you said those things, and for so long I didn’t believe it. But then there came a point when I realized I wasn’t living anymore. I had to give up on the idea of us being together in order to love Dan the way he deserved to be loved. But I never stopped thinking about you.”
“I know, Grace. Me too. I’m so sorry. Elizabeth totally messed up my life. I just wish I had known sooner.”
“But your life isn’t the only one she messed with.”
“I know, and I hate her for it.”
“There’s a ripple effect, Matt.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” I kissed her forehead quietly. “But I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore. We’re here now, together. I just want to sleep with you in my arms, okay?”
She cuddled up to me even closer. “Okay.”
Her breath evened out and her body relaxed. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in her bed, alone.
23. Who Did You Think I was?
Matt
Grace’s bedroom was bright with morning light, and I took in my surroundings for the first time. There was an antique dresser, a floral quilt, and Impressionistic paintings of the French countryside hanging on the walls—surprisingly generic décor for someone like Grace.