It was nearly four a.m. when Sabina finally fell asleep after the doctor set her ankle. She was going to need surgery down the road but for the time being she would be all right. Carlos showed up and thanked me endlessly for taking care of his daughter. He was a kindhearted man. Knowing that my mother was with him and happy healed another open wound that had festered within me for years.
Walking down the long, empty, fluorescent-lit hallway, it struck me that I loved caring for people. I was good at it. To my surprise, I found redemption in it. I successfully made the first clear decision to move forward with my life as I stumbled out to the parking lot. I would get my GED and apply to nursing schools.
And as if the darkened sky had opened up, revealing heaven above, I found Nate slouched over on a bench near the parking lot, his back toward me. I blinked as if he were a figment of my imagination, trying to refocus my reality, but I knew it was him. Somehow, without even seeing his face, I knew it was Nate.
I approached heedfully before he had time to look back and spot me. I sat down next to him. He looked over apprehensively. His eyes were bloodshot and he was wearing a gray hoodie over his head, shadowing his eyes. His legs were spread out in front of him, like he had been sleeping sitting up.
“Are you an apparition?” I asked.
“Are you?” he asked wistfully before looking down and scanning my tight dress and exposed legs.
“How did you know?”
“I went to your mother’s first and she said you were here.” A hint of a smile touched one side of his mouth. He squinted, searching for answers in my eyes.
“You came all the way to Spain for me?”
“I’ll follow you anywhere.”
CHAPTER 24
Renewed
Nathanial
I blinked, waiting for her to respond. It was true, I would have followed her anywhere—there was nothing I believed more in that moment as I stared at her with weary eyes. Her pudgy bottom lip quivered and her breath quickened.
“What about your job?” she asked, her voice timid and shaky.
I shrugged. “It’s not as important as you.” I reached my arm out, encouraging her to move closer. She scooted across the bench and sunk into my embrace.
“Nate, I want to do something with my life.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure that you understand.”
“I understand that you’re still mourning.”
“It’s not about Jake anymore.” It seemed like his name was becoming much easier for her to say.
I leaned back so I could see her face. “What is it then?”
“I’m trying to figure myself out.”
“I am, too,” I said instantly.
“Then why did you come here, honestly?”
“Because a ten-year-old kid made me realize that I’m in love with you, Ava. All of you.”
She took in a quick breath.
“I said I love you. Did you hear me?”
She nodded, eyes wide.
“That part I’ve got figured out,” I said. “The rest is a bit blurry.”
She looked away and then her eyes quickly darted back to mine. “Okay, but what do you want?”
“I want to be with you. I know that for sure.”
“I came here to figure myself out. I need more purpose in my life. I don’t know what my life will look like in five years.”
“No one does. We just have to dream it up then chase it,” I told her.
“I think I want to be a nurse,” she said.
I chuckled. “Well, that might make things easier.”
“But not because of you.”
“Oh, okay.”
“I need to do it on my own. I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to and I know that I can now.”
“What about the horses?”
“That was another life.” She looked up to the sky and took three deep breaths. “I don’t know, I feel like I’m remembering who I was before Jake, and I remember wanting to be a nurse. The horses were always just a hobby until I met him.”
“I will do everything in my power to help you reach that goal, Ava.”
“Thank you,” she said.
She started to speak again but before she could get anything out I said, “But first I want to know how you feel about me.” The sun was coming up and she shivered in my arms. “I have a hotel room. Let’s get some sleep. But later I want an answer.”
“Okay.”
At the last minute, before I had left the States, I had booked a room at one of the nicest hotels in Barcelona. Ava’s weary eyes opened wide when we entered the extravagant lobby. Inside the elevator, I held her against my side. We were both unsteady with exhaustion, using each other as anchors.
Once inside my suite, she looked around in wonder. “I’ve never been to a place like this.” She gazed at the large four-poster bed, piled high with a rich-looking maroon duvet. She peeled off her dress as she moved past me before throwing herself into the mess of covers. “Oh, this is wonderful,” she mumbled into the pillows. “I wish I weren’t so tired so I could enjoy this.”
I went to the side of the bed and stared down at her. She rolled onto her back, her eyes closed and a small, lazy smile gracing her lips.
I took my clothes off, leaving only my boxers, and slid in next to her. I spooned her from behind, cocooning her.
“In the morning . . . ,” she sighed.
“It is the morning,” I answered.