“Sure. The more the merrier. That way we’ll have more people to hang out with at the hospital when we all get food poisoning.”
Her face fell.
“Kidding. But, seriously, you may want to eat before you come.”
I offered to pick her up but she assured me they could get there on their own, so once I gave her the address it was time for me to leave. We walked to the door together and I couldn’t help but pull her to me for one more short kiss. She tasted like cookies.
“I’ll call you later,” I said and walked to my truck, afraid if I didn’t leave now I never would.
Once I got to my car I called Bailey and told her the Monroe troop was coming tomorrow and she’d better get her ass on the phone and invite someone too—in order to keep things as casual as possible. I could tell right away she was going to try to bail, so like any good brother would, I employed blackmail to get my point across.
“Oh, did I forget to tell you I gave Vance your number?” Vance was the creepy electrician we contracted with on occasion, and he had a serious thing for Bailey. “I said you would be waiting for his call and were really looking forward to getting to know him better. I think he mentioned dinner at his place—I can’t recall all the details, but I’m sure it won’t involve any lotion on the skin or anything.”
“I hope you choke on your own dick. You didn’t actually do that, did you?”
“Not yet, but I do have his number on speed dial.”
“Fuck you. What time do we have to be there?”
Chapter Twelve
We’ve All Got Our Own Brand of Crazy
LANEY
“I got an email today that I know was from you, but the sender was ‘Mommy Buttlover’? What the fuck?” That was Fiona’s greeting when I called her to fret about Nate that afternoon. She was trying not to laugh and doing a piss-poor job at it.
“Christ on a cracker—I know. I'm going to kill Gavin. No one will recognize his body. He had Rocco tell Siri to call me ‘Mommy Buttlover’ from now on instead of ‘Laney,’ and it changed my outgoing email identifier! I replied to just about everyone in my address book today about a birth announcement. Everyone is going to see that ‘Mommy Buttlover’ thinks the baby looks just like his daddy. God, how embarrassing!”
“Not to mention confusing.” She was cackling by this point and I couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit.
“I hate my life,” I managed.
“No you don’t. Your life is great—awesome kid, cute house, sadistic brother … what more could you ask for? Except maybe … hot construction guy?” I could see I wouldn’t have to introduce the real reason for the call. She knew me too well.
“I’m starting to think hot construction guy is going to be a part of my life whether I want him to be or not.”
“I knew it, I knew it,” she sing-songed loudly in my ear.
“We totally made out again in my kitchen and he asked me to have dinner with his parents tomorrow,” I blurted out.
Silence.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” I stated more than asked.
“Well, the making out part isn’t weird at all—in fact, that part is dreamy—and please tell me you got to touch his butt and it was as perfect as it looks.”
“Yes, and hell yes.”
“I knew it!” The song was back.
“Okay, shut up. The make-out session was so hot I can’t even begin to describe it accurately. My breasts physically swelled—I didn’t even know that could happen. But the dinner thing is stressing me out!”
“All right, calm down. How exactly did he ask you? Was he like, ‘Hey, Laney, since we made out a couple times and we’re clearly getting married why don’t you come meet Mom and Dad tomorrow and then we can make beautiful babies together?’ or was it more like, ‘Hey, I’m going over to my parents’ to grab a bite. Wanna come?’”
“I guess it was more like the second one. He invited Rocco and Gavin too.”
“Then what are you stressing about? I think it’s sweet.”
“You do? You’re sure?”
“Yeah. You worry too much. Go and have fun and then report back to me. Now get back to Nate’s ass—I need more details!”
“Why is it we never talk about your love life?”
After the whole Siri debacle, it wasn’t too hard to guilt Gavin into coming to dinner at the Murphy’s. It did involve free food, after all, but I neglected to warn him about Mrs. Murphy’s supposedly horrific cooking. Can you blame me? I fed Rocco a sandwich before we left so he would be all set—Gavin could fend for himself.
I was a little distracted on the drive over. Charlotte and I had met up that morning at a nearby park and I’d been hoping Rocco would play with Aiden, but he mostly just asked me to swing him on the swings while Aiden ran around shooting imaginary villains and mounting attacks from the top of the monkey bars. Charlotte and I had a nice time talking and I was liking her more and more—now if I could only get our kids to be friends.
Feeling a bit down from the park, I’d called my mom to catch up and see if she could offer me some reassurance. She was aware of Rocco’s little idiosyncrasies, having lived with him since his birth. I filled her in about the nose thing and his recent behavior.
“I feel like it’s getting worse since we moved to the new house.” I didn’t want to say, “since you moved away” because it was definitely not her cross to bear—she’d gone above and beyond as a grandparent. “And now his teachers are concerned.”
“Sweetie, all moms worry about their kids. Rocco’s not even going into real school until next year—a lot can change in a year. And might I remind you of another person in our family who has a little habit of her own—someone who rubs her face when she’s stressed?”
Oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that? Well, poop, it looked like I’d passed down more of my own issues to the poor kid than I realized.
“And, besides, kids are just small adults—have you ever met an adult who was normal? Of course not. We all have our own brand of crazy. Just love him and that’s all you can do,” she said.
“I just can’t help but feel like I’ve done this to him. I deprived him of a father by being irresponsible and I moved him away from people he loves. And now it looks like I gave him a tic for God’s sake!” It felt both good and awful to say it out loud.
“Laney, all parents second-guess themselves and feel ‘less than’ at times. And we all make mistakes. I've never told anyone this, but I dropped your brother on his head when he was about two months old—smack on top of his soft little head!”
“I know.”
“How do you know that? Even your dad doesn't know that.”
“Well, it's a more believable explanation than the possibility that you experimented with drugs while pregnant with the idiot.”
See? I knew my mom could make me feel a bit better.
Now we were on our way to the Murphy’s, and I tried to put my worries about Rocco out of my head and instead focus on (i.e. worry about) the evening ahead. At this rate, I’d have an ulcer by next week. Couldn’t wait.
“I’m still confused about how I got talked into this,” Gavin said from the driver’s seat of his beat-up Jeep. I never argued when Gavin wanted to drive because he is the world’s absolute worst backseat driver. I was honestly more likely to run into a tree with Gavin in my car than I would be had I been a blind person.
“Will they have cookies?” Rocco asked from the back seat where he was taking apart a Transformer.
“I don’t know, sweetie. Mr. Murphy is on a special diet and I don’t think he’s allowed to have cookies.”
“But I’m not on a special diet,” he answered as only a kid can.
“Don’t worry, Rock, we’ll get you one of your mom’s cookies when we get home,” Gavin reassured, never one to deny my kid something sweet.
“You know, Gav. You should be happy I talked you into this. It could be a boost for your career,” I teased. “It’ll give you a chance to suck up to not just the boss but the big boss.”
“Haha. I don’t want to look like a douche.”
“What’s a douche?” Rocco asked.
I gave Gavin the evil eye. “It’s just an adult thing, Rocco. You should never say that word.”
“But what is it?”
“It’s a special kind of soap for adults,” answered Gavin, never understanding that in a kid’s hands, too much knowledge is too much power.
“No, Rock, it’s a bad word some adults say. Just ignore your uncle.”
Gavin came back to the original topic. “I don’t want to suck up—I’m just gonna stay quiet while Nate spends the evening checking you out.” An overly dramatic shiver coursed through his body. “I can’t believe you’re dating my boss.”
“I’m not dating him! And this is definitely not the time to talk about this.” I motioned to the listening ears in the booster seat behind us.
“Whatever. I know what’s going on even if you don’t. All I have to say is you’d better not mess this up for me, Laney,” he warned.
“I’m not messing anything up. We’re just having dinner at their house.”
“Said the most clueless human on the planet. Oh, and just make sure to keep it wrapped this time around.” I had to slap him even if he was driving at the time.
We arrived ten minutes later at a beautiful two-story brick home in an elegant community with big, lush lawns and gorgeous crepe myrtles dotting the tree-lawn all along the street. Rocco and I got out first and headed to the door while Gavin grabbed some things I’d brought along from the back. I carried a bouquet of flowers as well as a tin of heart-friendly muffins I’d baked for Nate’s dad, and I let Rocco ring the bell. The door immediately opened and there was Nate in all his perfect scruffy handsomeness. Sigh. He wore another pair of faded jeans and a vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt, his hair looking like he’d been running his hand through it. Maybe he was nervous too.