He picked up his chopsticks. “So, what do you like to do for fun, Laney?”
“Oh, you know, work and take care of my kid mostly. That’s when I’m not flying off in my private jet to Aruba, of course.” I popped a California roll in my mouth. Yum.
Alex shook his head and swallowed his bite. “You’ve got to make time for yourself. You should take up running. It's great cardio.”
Was he calling me fat? “Running and I don't really mix.” You can only get hit in the face with your own boobs so many times before you have to call it a day. “I like hiking, though, but it's hard to take a five-year-old. Rocco’s ready to turn around thirty steps in,” I tried to joke again.
“Allison loves hiking. We also do a lot of biking together.”
I’m sure she does. And I’m sure your bike shorts are even tighter than your pants. “That sounds like fun for you guys.” My appetite was quickly fading. I took a large sip of my sake instead.
“It is. She’s really advanced for her age.” He took a bite of what looked like a tentacle.
Of course she is. This date was officially over. Why did he need to date me when he had the perfect girl at home? “Well if I can get Rocco to sleep in his own bed by the time he's ten I'll count it as a win on my end,” I ground out as I searched in vain for our waitress.
Completely misinterpreting my mood, he continued, “My ex and I employed a nurturing concept called the ‘family bed.’ Allison sleeps with me to this day.”
Aaaand there’s that. I was beginning to understand the cause of his divorce—and also the reason Allison was an only child.
“You should embrace Rocco’s desire for closeness,” he persisted.
I downed the rest of my sake.
Check, please.
“So it didn't go great?” Fiona asked, looking disappointed.
I don’t know what gave it away, my scowl or my complete deflation onto the couch, vagina dress splayed around me. I was surprised to see Gavin in the recliner, leaning back in the same jeans and t-shirt he’d had on when I left. I thought he’d be three sheets to the wind by now at Jake’s.
“Obviously,” he contributed. “That guy was a douchecanoe.”
I couldn’t rally myself to protest. “Is it judgy of me to find it creepy that he prefers sleeping in the same bed as his seven-year-old?”
Fiona’s expression crumpled with revulsion while Gavin’s remained steady. “Dating that twatwaffle could only end in a smartphone full of dick pics. Consider it a bullet dodged and move on.”
“Eww,” Fiona and I simultaneously pronounced.
Chapter Eleven
Well, This Is Awkward
NATE
I hadn’t given up. Several days of flirty texting but no date accepted, I still had my ace in the hole with a tentative Saturday plan to resume work on her house.
Nate: Krispy Kreme again or should I go for Granny’s?
Laney: Oooh. Tough choice. Surprise me.
And just like that I had my confirmed invitation to come over tomorrow. It was Friday afternoon and I had to swing by my parents’ house to get my dad’s signature on a few documents. I hadn’t seen him in about a week so I was looking forward to checking out his progress in person. My mom had told me over the phone that he was making her crazy trying to be too active and he was chomping at the bit to start driving again. That sounded about right.
She was also still on her kick to find him a hobby. Bailey had brought over a few jigsaw puzzles earlier in the week, as requested by our mom, and it had not gone over well. Some words were exchanged about nursing homes and bingo, and an alternative—and quite creative—suggestion was made as to where to put the puzzles. Bailey’s visit didn’t last long.
When I arrived, I let myself in the front door and was surprised to see that Bailey was back as well. Clearly a glutton for punishment.
“I thought you had an appointment this afternoon,” I said.
“Canceled,” she replied, chugging a coffee from Starbucks like it was her life’s blood.
“Does Mom know you brought caffeine in the house?”
“I distracted her when I came in the door so I got away with it.”
“How’d you do that?!” I had continued to get the pat down each time I entered the house.
“There he is!” exclaimed my mother, entering the hallway and consuming me in a giant hug. “My Nathan.”
Looking over my mom’s shoulder at Bailey, I spotted my conniving little sister’s shit-eating grin instantly. She just shrugged her shoulders and mouthed, “Sucks to be you.” I flipped her off immediately.
I was way too familiar with this look from Bailey. It was the same one she got each time she finagled her way out of trouble by throwing me under the bus. I’d spent many nights as a teenager, grounded in my room, plotting revenge on Bailey for just this kind of shit. It didn’t matter that I actually had been smoking weed behind the garage or sneaking out my bedroom window to go out late—it was the principle of the thing. I’d been pretty successful with a few of my revenge strategies, the best one being the time I got the whole school to call her “Sabrina” for most of her freshman year. It was short for “Sabrina the Teenage Bitch” and the best part was that it could be used in front of teachers—it pissed Bailey off in the worst way. Ah, good times.
But that was then—this was now. And she would pay—as soon as I found out what the hell she’d done this time.
“Hi Mom,” I said a bit warily, returning her hug with a tad less enthusiasm.
She released me and took my face in her hands. “So handsome.”
Oh shit. This was worse than I thought.
“Now, tell me all about her. I can’t wait to meet her! Bailey said she has a son. That’s just wonderful! I miss being around kids.”
Jesus H. Macy.
Skewering Bailey with my best “you are fucking dead” glare, I stopped her in her tracks as she attempted to slink away.
“Let’s go have a drink in the kitchen and you can tell me all about her and her little boy,” my mother cooed.
Trying desperately to get out of this conversation, I asked, “Where’s Dad? I really need him to sign some papers.”
She waved me off and ushered both Bailey and me toward the table. “He’s in the shower. He’ll be down in a bit and then you two can take care of that. Sit.”
With little other choice, I sat and mentally planned my sister’s very painful death. Do they still have the rack? No, that was too good for her.
Cups of decaf all around and the inquisition began. “Bailey said you met her at work? Is she Catholic? I’ll bet she’s Irish, isn’t she? Oh, no matter—I’m sure she’s wonderful either way.” Her eyes passed between me and my sister.
At this point Bailey jumped in and tried to save herself. “That’s just what Mark said. I don’t really know much about it except for what he told me.”
That bastard. Mark was too nosy for his own good and I should have known he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He had seen Laney at the Old Oak Ridge site, though, so there had been no avoiding talking about her. Every guy there had been talking about her for a week, much to Gavin’s annoyance. Which only made the guys talk more shit, of course.
“Okay, slow down, Mom. I just met this girl and we haven’t even gone out on a date, so hold off on the wedding plans, please.”
“But you’ve been spending time with her, right? That sounds to me like dating. What’s she like? I’m sure she’s really pretty, isn’t she?”
“Her name is Laney. She’s beautiful.” I couldn’t help it—it just came out.
Bailey shot me a surprised glance, totally unused to me saying word one about a woman. Why did I feel like I was shooting myself in the foot?
“I knew it.” Our mother smiled. “And how old is her son?”
“He’s five, I think. His name is Rocco.”
“Awww,” came the two female voices simultaneously.
Jesus.
“I know!” My mother straightened up suddenly. “You should invite them over for Sunday dinner! Then we can all meet them. And it would be a great distraction for your father.”
Before I could protest that nothing of the sort would be happening, Bailey cut in. “Not this again, Mom. A girlfriend or a potential grandkid is not going to keep Dad from going back to work. You’ve got to stop with this hobby thing too. You saw how he reacted to the puzzles. What’s it going to be next, synchronized swimming?”
Bailey looked to me with a sudden smirk. “We’ll have to add that to the list, Nate—can you imagine?” She started to snicker before she realized that she’d just fucked us both. Have I mentioned what an utter pain in the ass my sister is?
Our mother’s good mood evaporated instantly, and the air turned thick. Her hands gripped her coffee cup so tightly her knuckles turned white. “So, you two think this is all a big joke,” she said with a quiet intensity we’d never heard before. “You just wait until you see the person you love more than anything lying on the ground afraid and in pain. Then you see how funny it is to wrack your brain trying to think of any and every thing in your power you can do to keep them with you—to not lose them. Laugh all you want, but if puzzles or grandkids or goddamned synchronized swimming will keep your father with me for one more second, you better believe I’ll pull out all the stops. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get your dad’s medicines ready for him.”
Imagine the shittiest you’ve ever felt in your life and multiply that by ten. That’s how pathetic Bailey and I felt sitting at the kitchen table after the well-deserved beat-down served by our mother.
“God, we’re such assholes,” Bailey said.
“Yup.” She’d hit the nail on the head.
“I’m going after her.” Bailey rose from her chair and left the room.