Whitney called Bailey and Amy and told them about it that afternoon after Emma had settled down. They both got on the phone.
“That’s pretty amazing,” Bailey said, impressed. “She remembered the house and tried to find it. Maybe she thought she’d find her mother there. But either way, that’s very enterprising, and she even recalled which direction to go. I think we’re having another breakthrough.” And she had retrieved one of her lost words when she said “Home,” but it was a small consolation, seeing how unhappy she was.
“It’s going to be hard for her when she remembers things,” Amy reminded both of them. “This isn’t an easy process for her. She lost her mother, their home, her job on the TV show, all her friends on the show. She’s going to have a lot to face as her memory comes back. There’s no good news in it for her, and when she remembers the accident that’s going to be the toughest memory of all. But she can’t heal fully until she remembers everything, and faces it, and after that she can go forward. For now, she’s still digging in the past for the answers. She tried to find one of them today.” They all agreed that it was an important step, even if not a happy one, and Bailey promised to come and see Emma later. She was uncommunicative when he did, and Whitney looked troubled too.
“Do you think I’m wrong to try and keep her at home?” she asked him honestly. “Is it too dangerous for her? It never occurred to me that she might try to run away. What if someone had found her and kidnapped her today? Maybe I’m being crazy since I can’t protect her here.” She’d been thinking about it all day, ever since Brett called her at the office and said Emma was lost.
“You mean institutionalize her?” Whitney hesitated and then nodded, and Bailey was shocked. He didn’t think Whitney would have been open to that idea even though many people would have preferred that option rather than trying to bring Emma back, inch by inch, themselves. “She didn’t run away today,” he reminded her. “She was trying to find something, the house she lived in with her mother. That’s a very ambitious project for her. I’d say that’s more of a positive than a negative and it shows she’s fighting to come back, not run away.”
“What if I don’t know enough to do this safely for her?” Whitney asked, worried. “I’m just groping around, trying to find answers for her, but maybe she’d be better off with professionals taking care of her, full-time. She could have gotten hurt today, kidnapped or injured, or run over by a car while crossing the street. She’s just a little kid, and now she’s brain injured and vulnerable.”
“She’s a very resourceful little kid, if you ask me,” he said with a tone of admiration. “And to answer your question, no, I don’t think she’d be better off in an institution of some kind. She wouldn’t make as much progress there and they wouldn’t try as hard as you do. She might not even make any progress there at all.”
“She might not make progress here either. Maybe I have to face that.” It was something she had been avoiding since the accident, the fact that Emma might stay the way she was. Whitney hadn’t wanted to confront that or accept it, but she wondered if maybe now she had to.
“She already is progressing.” Bailey pled Emma’s case. “She still has a long way to go, and she hasn’t gotten language back yet, but her memory is obviously waking up. We saw evidence of that today. So, if you’re asking for my opinion, I don’t think she belongs in an institution, at least not yet. We can always reassess that later, but for now, I think there’s still hope, even if she hasn’t unlocked all the doors yet. I think she will.” It was easy for him to say, he didn’t live with her, and he hadn’t almost lost her today when she ran away, whatever her reason for doing it. What if she had gotten hurt as a result? It had been a sobering experience for Emma and for all of them.
Bailey could tell how badly Whitney was shaken by it. He came by that afternoon to check on them and reassured Brett too. And after that he stopped by every day without fail.
It was several days before Whitney had calmed down again, and Brett as well. By the weekend, when Whitney was alone with Emma, she felt more confident again.
Bailey dropped by to see them on his way to play tennis with a friend and Whitney was calmer than she had been earlier in the week.
“Feeling better?” he asked her, concerned. It had been a hard week. Every week was hard. There were no easy gains.
“A little.” She smiled at him. “She scared the hell out of me when she disappeared. I think she understands the house is gone now, but that’s another loss for her, and there have been so many.”
“And positives too,” he reminded her.
“Like what?” Whitney couldn’t imagine them.
“You. She lost her mother, but you’ve stepped into her shoes. It’s not the same, but you haven’t let her down for a minute in the last four months. And from what you’ve said to me, I’m not even sure her mother would have been as dedicated. This is not an easy path you’re on. Not everyone could do it.”
“I was beginning to think I couldn’t either,” she said. “I don’t want to make things worse for her, or slow down her progress by trying to keep her here.”
“You aren’t. How’s she doing with her signing lessons?” He thought it was a brilliant idea.
It was an interesting experiment, and Belinda and Sam were still coming twice a week. “It depends on the day. Sometimes she signs perfectly, and at other times she can’t remember any of it. That’s what’s happening with her reading too. Sometimes you can see that she’s not interested and it makes no sense to her, and then the next time, she’s fascinated and reads simple things for a while. None of it happens in a straight line or goes smoothly every day.”
“That’s how brain injuries are,” Bailey explained again. “People make significant advances, and then regress and lose ground. Eventually, she’ll get there, but it’s going to take time. How’s the aggression?”
“That depends on the day too. When she’s frustrated, she takes it out on me, but at least she feels bad now when she hurts me. She can’t stop herself when she gets upset.” He nodded, and then she thought of something she’d been meaning to ask him. She wasn’t sure how appropriate it was. She knew Bailey had no family and he didn’t seem to have a big social life. He was always happy to visit them, and had free time at night. Amy seemed busier and had a serious boyfriend from what she said, and family she visited in Colorado. Bailey appeared to be more solitary. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving? If you have nothing to do, we’re having a turkey here. I’ve always done it. My sister wasn’t much of a cook, and since my father died, it’s just been the three of us. Brett’s having Thanksgiving with us, she doesn’t want to go home to Salt Lake.” She knew Bailey had no family to be with either, since he had no siblings and his parents were dead, but she wasn’t sure he’d want to spend the holiday with her and Emma. They were patients, but slowly becoming friends. She knew Amy was going to her future in-laws’ in San Francisco, but Whitney wondered if Bailey was going to be alone, or maybe going to friends. She decided to ask him anyway.
“I’d love sharing it with you. I’m not big on holidays which are family events, since my parents are gone. I usually volunteer at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter, which at least turns it into a useful event, but I’d love to spend it with you and Emma.” He knew it would be a hard holiday for both of them this year. He looked touched to be asked, and really pleased.
“We just do a simple lunch, nothing elaborate.”
“That sounds just right. Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas always make one feel like such a loser if you’re not married and don’t have kids,” he admitted. Whitney laughed and nodded her head.
“Actually, they’ve always made me feel grateful I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids.” She laughed. “And now I’ve kind of backed into it. I want to make it as nice as I can for Emma. She’s going to miss her mother now that she remembers her. It’ll be nice having you here,” she said warmly. “I never figured I’d have a child of my own, and never felt ready to take that on, and now I’ve got Emma.” It made her think of Chad briefly. She hadn’t heard from him in two months, and knew she wouldn’t again. She missed the fun trips with him, but not who he turned out to be when Emma got hurt. He was a cold, selfish man, and she saw that now. She no longer had time to travel with him anyway. Her whole life had changed.
“Thank you for inviting me,” Bailey said again, and then left to play tennis, and he offered to come by with some Thai food the next day. Whitney was planning to spend a quiet weekend with Emma, and do some things around the house. She was trying to teach her to play chess again, but she hadn’t mastered her old skills, and was better at Monopoly and Clue, which they played loosely, ignoring the rules so they were easier for her. And Belinda had left her some new games on the iPad, which kept Emma busy for hours as she struggled to master them. She played several of them with Bailey when he came back with dinner on Sunday night, and then beat him at a game of gin, which impressed him. Her abilities were spotty and irregular, and some were better than others.
“What did she do? Deal blackjack in Vegas in a past life?” he said after she beat him at gin several times. “I think she may have been cheating, but either way she beat me. You have to be smart to cheat too.” He laughed. “She is one very bright little girl.” Whitney laughed too, and Emma looked pleased. Bailey had been a good addition to their life, as a doctor and a friend. They had medicine as their common ground. He told Whitney about the brain injury conference he would be chairing in a few weeks. He still wanted her to speak there, and Whitney wasn’t sure, although the meetings sounded interesting.