“What,” he replied, “what, Asher?”
“Go get her! She was yours until now. She hasn’t been mine in a long time. I’ve lived three years believing what I had with her was wrong and disgusting. You only lived that hell for a day. Your love for her is still pure. It’s you she needs right now, not me. I’m pretty sure I’m broken beyond repair and won’t ever be whole again.”
The tension in Steel’s shoulders loosened, his eyes then becoming those of a worried brother. “You’re not broken. You’re a good man, Asher. A great one if you ask me.”
He was wrong, but he loved me. His love was special, exactly the kind of love I wanted for Dixie. She wouldn’t ever be faced with the dark demons that had taken over my life, demons I wasn’t sure would ever go away. Finding out the truth didn’t magically fix me. It freed me, but it didn’t fix me. That required something I wasn’t willing to take—Dixie’s love. I couldn’t have it. It would never be mine again.
“Thanks,” I told him, “but I’ll be leaving next month. She needs a man who’ll be here for her. One who will show her the sunshine every damn day. I have too much darkness in my soul to give Dixie the light she deserves.”
Steel stood there staring at me. Finally, he nodded in agreement. “Okay,” he replied. “I do love her, you know.”
“I know,” I quietly assured him.
He wiped his hands on his jeans, then flashed a small smile, before jogging down to his truck. Watching him go wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do.
The barn door opened and I glanced back to see Dallas standing there wearing nothing but a pair of white shorts and a set of boxing gloves. I hadn’t known anyone was inside the barn. Dallas was just staring at me.
“I love all my brothers, but just to clarify, Asher, you’re the best one of them. We all know it. Even Steel.” Dallas spoke, giving me a sad smile. He then lifted his chin toward the inside of the barn. “Come on in and beat the shit out of that heavy bag. I just finished and I’m about to lift weights. The bag is all yours if you want it.”
Hitting something sounded really fucking good. I walked up to the barn as Dallas pulled his gloves off and slapped me in the stomach with them. “Here you go, old man,” he teased.
I grabbed the gloves and felt a genuine grin tug at my lips for the first time in a really long while. “This old man could beat your ass.”
Dallas chuckled and pointed at himself, before flexing his impressive arms. “Dude, you looked at me lately? I’m a beast,” he replied. “A monster.”
In return I laughed, really laughed, all the muscles one used to do that finally coming to life again. They’d lain unused for years.
“Yes, you are, little brother. Both a beast and a monster,” I said. The surprised expression on Dallas’s face was quickly replaced by a big grin of his own.
Steel Sutton
While pulling onto the dirt road that connected our driveway with Dixie’s, I noticed Bray’s truck parked in the field. Slowing down, I checked to see if he needed anything. But when I saw a red head and a pair of tits rising and falling like the sea, I shook my head grinning and kept driving toward Dixie’s house. In broad daylight, the bastard had a girl out there, fucking away without a care. Dude was crazy. My brother was nuts.
Dixie and me hadn’t had sex. We’d been together now for eleven months. It was my longest stint of celibacy since I was fifteen and Brenda Vickers first showed me her eighteen-year-old tits, then how good it felt to slide my dick into a hot, wet pussy. Sex became as important as oxygen to me. But then I’d fallen in love with Dixie and waiting on her becoming even more important. Turning down willing women wasn’t easy sometimes, but Dixie was worth the wait. She was better than a meaningless night with some easy lay. Dixie was worth it all.
Seeing Bray getting some made me a little jealous. I was tired of masturbating. But what he had was cheap and would be over soon. I had something more with Dixie, something worth the sacrifice, and the long wait that went along with it.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Dixie’s Jeep parked outside, so I hurried to her door. I didn’t want to wait any longer. For two days, Dixie hadn’t called or texted me. I was so damn sure that Asher would come and take her away from me anyway, so I didn’t try to contact her either. I believed Dixie loved me. She’d told me she loved me, but then again, I wasn’t sure she loved me as much as Asher. Their history was longer than ours, longer and more complicated. I always felt like second fiddle to him. But now that he wasn’t planning on coming for her, she would be mine again.
The front door opened and Dixie stepped outside wearing a pair of cutoff jeans and a plaid shirt that was tied in a knot, her stomach visible for an inch or two. My heart began beating rapidly. She was barefoot and looked exactly like every southern boy’s fantasy. Any boy’s fantasy. “Hey,” she said with the tiniest of smiles. She didn’t look like she was hurting. None of the pain I’d seen in her eyes two days back was there anymore. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I didn’t want her hurting, but I also hoped she loved me enough to hurt from our break-up.
“How are you?” I asked, searching her face.
She shrugged. “Good. Better. I talked to my daddy.”
The way she said “my daddy” with relief in her voice told me her father had cleared the air of the lies that we all had believed.
“So you know the truth, then?” I asked.
She frowned. Blew through her lips. “Yeah, but it isn’t what Asher thinks.”
I nodded. “We know. Momma told us.”
Dixie’s eyes went wide and she glanced toward our house. “Oh, really, when?”
“Two mornings ago. I would’ve been here sooner, but we all kinda needed some time . . . to deal . . . you know?”
She turned her eyes back to me. The sudden sadness in them made me want to kick myself. Why did I tell her I’d known for two days without coming to her? How stupid was that of me?
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, “so sorry.”
She forced a smile and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I also knew and didn’t come to you. I just . . .” she paused and nervously swallowed. “Never mind. I’m not making sense. It’s been a crazy few days, I guess.”
“Yeah, it has,” I agreed. I then reached out to take her hand in mine. “But I never stopped loving you. I loved you even when I thought it was wrong. I couldn’t turn that off.”
She drew inward, tensed, her gaze flicking back toward my house again. I knew then that this was about Asher. She was waiting on him, which was what I should’ve expected. I should’ve known this would happen. He was the one she’d lost and never gotten over. It was written all over her face.
“I waited on him,” I told her. “He’s the reason I didn’t come until now. I was giving him a chance to come to you. But he came to me this morning and told me to come see you. Not to make you wait. That I loved you more than he ever could and you deserved that. Not him.”
The pain in her eyes intensified and I wanted to roar at the unfairness. Why did Dixie have to do this to me? I’d waited on her, been faithful to her because I loved her and wanted it to work. Why did she have to want him more? He’d sent me. He’d let her go.
I was here. He wasn’t.
“Oh,” she said, unable to look up. She studied her hands instead.
Just a fucking “oh.”
“Dixie, do you still want this? Us?” I asked, willing her to at least look at me. To give me something, any damn thing.
Finally, she raised her gaze and asked, “Steel, do you want this?”
Did she even have to ask? “More than anything, Dixie.”
She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she waited a few moments, before releasing the softest of sighs. “Okay, yes, I want this, too.”
Relief washed over me. I wanted to pound my chest. I’d won. Dixie was mine. Dixie Monroe was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on and she’d chosen me over my brother.
“I’ll make you happy, Dixie. Baby, I swear.”