“You talked to Brent today?” I asked wanting to change the subject.
“Yeah,” she replied, then looked out at the yard. “I also talked to Bray.”
If she’d talked to Bray, that wasn’t a big deal . . . or it wouldn’t have been if she hadn’t said it like she felt guilty about something. I studied her face for a moment and wondered if I’d been so wrapped up in my own life that I’d missed something important happening in hers.
“Why did you talk to Bray?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
She didn’t look at me, but the way her shoulders tensed wasn’t good, not good at all. “Scarlet,” I said, “look at me.”
“Do you ever wonder what Bray’s thinking? He’s so guarded. He rarely smiles.” She paused and a small smile touched her lips. “But when he does smile, it’s really something.”
Whoa. This was not good.
“Scarlet, um, is there something you need to tell me?”
She released a long sigh, then turned her head toward me and rested her cheek on her knees. “Probably shouldn’t. It’s bad. I’m bad for even thinking it. What kind of person does that? He’s Brent’s twin brother, but they’re so different. Bray’s moody and mysterious and he’s got this sexy, angry look about him that makes me feel funny in my stomach. Do you get what I’m saying?”
The Sutton boys were trouble. Beautiful trouble. Lots of stinking trouble. And Bray was the worst of them all.
“Bray isn’t like Brent and that’s a good thing. Brent loves you, while Bray likes all girls, and he especially likes getting blowjobs from them. You’ve heard the stories on how he gets off. Having girls drop to their knees before he gets rough with them. Remember what Jenn said about Bray? How he gagged her and called her names, while he held the back of her head?”
Scarlet grinned and pressed her lips together. “Yeah, but she also said it was sexy and then she went back for more.”
What? “Scar, please tell me you’re kidding,” I replied. Nothing about that sounded sexy.
Scarlet lifted a shoulder and gave a little shrug. “The idea of Bray talking dirty to me while getting off . . . well, it kind of excites me.” She then squeezed her eyes tightly together. “That makes me a slut, doesn’t it? I sound awful just saying that.”
I had no answer. No right response to give her. I didn’t think that sounded exciting at all. The rumors about Bray and his sexcapades were rampant, not just in Malroy, but throughout the entire county. Girls loved him, but they said he wasn’t sweet and easy. Bray took what he wanted, when he wanted it, and how he wanted it.
“If Asher,” she said, lowering her voice, “pushed you down to your knees in front of him and shoved his dick down your throat, telling you that you had a dirty little mouth and called you his bad, naughty girl, saying that you needed to be punished, maybe even spanked, you . . . that wouldn’t turn you on?”
I couldn’t respond. The idea of being on my knees in front of Asher and being able to bring him pleasure made my heart race and my body feel feverish. Okay, maybe she had a point.
“But you love Brent. Why would the idea of Bray doing these things excite you?”
She turned her gaze back toward the yard. She wouldn’t look at me. What wasn’t she telling me? Had I completely missed something important happening in her life? “He’s different. I like it when I can make him smile. He doesn’t smile enough.”
We were two peas in a pod. Both torn between two Sutton boys. Maybe our reasons were different, but who was I to judge? I wrapped my arm around Scarlet’s shoulders and rested my head against hers. With a shove of my feet, I got us swinging again, then pulled my feet up under me. “Bray can’t be trusted with your heart. You know that, right?” I reminded her.
She didn’t reply right away. We listened to Mom humming and the sound of the tractor way out in the field. It was peaceful. Until Scarlet replied, “Just like Asher can’t be trusted with yours.”
She was right, but I hated hearing that. The front door then opened, Mom sticking her head through it and twisting her face toward us to speak, “I have peach cobbler hot from the oven and vanilla ice cream for the top. Y’all want me to bring two bowls?” She then came out the rest of the way and waited for our response. Seeing her smiling blond head, slightly wide hips, and makeup-free face beaming at me with such love and adoration made me want to get up and hold her for hours just because she was there. She wasn’t what the world would consider beautiful, but to me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Especially where it counted the most. She’d loved a little girl who wasn’t hers and made all her bad dreams go away. She’d been there the day I got my period and got scared out of my mind, and she’d held me when Asher left me. I was the luckiest girl in the world to have her as my mom. She was the kind of woman I hoped to be one day.
“We’ll come inside and eat some with you,” I told her before standing up.
“I need some cobbler,” Scarlet agreed.
I walked over to my mom, wrapped my arms around her and said, “I love you,” swallowing the emotion in my throat, and pushing back the tears what were threatening to come.
She gave me a quick squeeze, kissed my cheek and replied, “I love you more, princess. Never forget that.” That had always been her response whenever I told her I loved her.
Asher Sutton
I HADN’T SEEN or spoken to Steel in two days. I knew Bray had told him everything that Momma told us. He let me know that Steel knew the truth about Dixie and the letters, and once I got my emotions under control, I had planned on going to Dixie and telling her everything. It was the only thing I’d been able to think about. But then I realized it wasn’t my place to tell her. Steel had proposed to Dixie. Momma had been sure to remind me of that.
I waited for something to happen, but Steel never came to find me. I was getting tired of waiting on him to do something.
He’d left early this morning to go mend the south fence. Bray said it was Steel’s turn to pull wire when I asked where he was during breakfast. I had to talk to Steel because I wanted to go to Dixie, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t free to do that. The idea that I could hold her, that I could love her freely again was taunting me. The way I felt about her wasn’t wrong or messed up, it was allowed. I was allowed to worship Dixie, to tell her that she owned my soul, that she was everything to me.
But I was waiting on my own little brother to do . . . something . . . anything.
When I got down to the barn, I could see the farm truck headed toward me, knowing Steel was in it. The posts and wire he hadn’t needed were clanking around in the bed, the diesel engine rumbling to an idle, then to a stop behind the barn. Steel climbed from the truck and slammed the door without looking at me. The anger on his face wasn’t what I’d been expecting to find. I hadn’t done anything to piss him off. He was the one who’d hurt Dixie.
“What?” I asked, forcing him to look at me and meeting his glare.
He let out a hard laugh. “What,” he repeated, “I’m waiting on you to tell me you’re going to see Dixie today. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To tell me you’re going to talk to her. To warn me you’re about to swoop in and give her what she wants. What she’s wanted all her life.” He pulled off his work gloves and threw them down on the ground. “What the fuck do I do with that? I can’t compete. So go get her, Asher. Go fucking take her away from me.” He then spun and stalked toward the barn.
Steel loved her, maybe not the way I did, but he loved her all the same. And I loved him, he was my little brother and I’d always been there whenever he needed me. I’d taught him how to throw a football. Where to hit a baseball on the barrel of your bat. How to tackle with your head across.
I loved Dixie. But my lost chance with her. Steel was there for her when she needed someone to comfort her after I’d walked away from her without a word. I didn’t deserve her. Steel was the better man. Deep in my heart, I knew that as I called his name and he stopped. He turned just before entering the barn. The anger in his eyes was now gone, replaced by the kind of pain that further cemented my decision.