And now… I’m going to show her how deep my feelings are for her and make her trust down to her soul that I want to take care of her. Because I do. And then when I tell her who I am she’ll know who we can be together.
We pull into my garage and I take her bag from her and walk her up the back stairway to the elevator, not letting go of her hand.
We walk into my condo and I glance back at Evie as I throw my keys on the table next to my door. She’s taking it all in, a small frown on her face. I almost laugh. I don’t like it either. It’s sleek and modern and cold. "Corporate condo. You don't like it."
She looks horrified. "No, no!" she says, "It's really stylish. I was just thinking that it needs a little warmth. Maybe some colorful throw pillows or something." She looks down and starts biting the inside of her cheek. I smile.
"I agree. I just don't know how long I'll be in this place. I'd like to buy something eventually." I try not to let my mind go to a place where we are picking out a home together. Slow down.
I lead her inside and take her jacket and hang it up on the coat hooks in my foyer area. When I turn around, she’s at the window, staring out at the city, the lights from the Horseshoe Casino shining in the distance.
A warmth spreads through my chest as I watch her standing in my condo. It’s where she belongs. It’s where she’s always belonged. With me. The grief of all the years we missed out on hovers in the background but I push it away. That’s not for tonight. Tonight is about us. Tonight is about only us.
I walk to her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight against me. I live in the moment, soaking it in, inhaling the smell of her hair, the feel of her delicate body wrapped in my arms, her warmth pressed against me. I remember this so well. It was always like this. She always had a way of soothing me, simply with her touch. How did I doubt it would always be this way? Then, now, a million lifetimes from this one. My Evie, my heart, my savior. My lion tamer.
I lower my head and brush her hair to the side and lower my lips to the back of her neck, nuzzling the satiny skin there. She shivers and I feel myself swell in my pants. "God, Evie, you feel so good. You smell so good. You undo me. And I haven’t even had you yet. What will that do to me?"
I feel her stiffen. "Jake–" she starts, turning in my arms and bringing hers up around my neck until I’m staring into her eyes. "About that–"
"You’re nervous." Damn. That’s okay though. She can set the pace. This is her show.
"Yes. No. I mean–" She shakes her head, laughing a small laugh.
It is soon, I guess. I mean, it’s not – it’s four years overdue. I wish that life had worked out differently so that I had swooped her up on her eighteenth birthday and married her that very day. But as for the reality of now, we’ve really just begun. Still, I think she feels what I feel. Either way, I want it to be completely her choice.
"How about I make you dinner, we talk, hang out, and then if you want to sleep in the guest room, I'm okay with that tonight, alright? I'd like you in my bed. But I want it to be your call and if you're not ready, then you sleep in the guest room. I just want you here tonight, okay?"
Her eyes search mine for several seconds. "Okay," she whispers.
"Good," I say, my eyes moving to her pretty mouth, so incredibly kissable. I press my lips against hers, smiling as I take her bottom lip between my teeth, teasing her gently. She melts into me as I continue licking and sucking at her lips, but not going further. I want her to take the lead, to know that I’m giving that to her right now. She has no idea what this means to me to be able to do that, to willingly give a woman control sexually. Up until now, the whole point, most of the time, was to be in control, to take that part of myself back. But with Evie, I not only feel safe, but I’ll do anything to make her feel safe too.
Finally, after about a thousand years, she makes a frustrated little sound in her throat and slides her tongue into my mouth. Oh, shit, that’s so f**king sexy. I moan deep and my c**k jumps in my pants.
She slides one of her hands down my back and up under the hem of my un-tucked shirt and runs her fingernails lightly against my skin. I’m going up in flames. Nothing has ever felt as good as this.
Evie tilts her head and our kiss goes deeper, blood pounding harder and faster to my erection. The taste of her is like a drug and I’m completely lost in the feel of her against me, the taste of her, the very idea of her. I’m awestruck at these new feelings coursing through me. This is what physical closeness is supposed to be like. The very thought of everything I’ve experienced up to this moment is suddenly colored with even more sickness, and the beauty, the rightness, of this moment is highlighted against those cloudy flashes of ugly memory.
She runs her other hand up the back of my neck, into my hair, sifting and stroking, and I register that that feels great right before I register that her fingers are tracing my scar. Fuck! I tear my lips off hers, gathering myself.
"What happened to you, Jake?" she asks, frowning.
Tell the truth but keep it vague. Tonight is not for this. I pause before saying quietly, "Remember the stupid shit I told you I did to earn my father's contempt?"
She nods, still frowning.
"Some of that resulted in me tearing the back of my head open. Someday I'll tell you all about it, Evie, I promise. But how about right now I get dinner started?"
She frowns and reaches her hand up to my hair and traces my scar again. The tenderness of her touch is something only she has ever given me. I close my eyes and take her hand from my scar and bring it to my lips to kiss it. "So damn sweet," I say. Because that’s exactly what she is.