She’s staring at me, unspeaking and so I consider that a good sign to continue.
"What I know about you, is that people who are lucky enough to have your trust and your friendship, it is clear that they would have your back to within an inch of their life and that is because you give them you, and they know that when they have you, they have a f**k of a lot.
"And, Evie, when you walk away from people, even strangers, you gotta know that their eyes follow you. And I'll tell you why, because I've felt it myself. It's because they don't want to see the light that is Evie, the light that is you, walking away from them. They want to see it coming toward them and staying with them."
"Uh–" she starts to say something, but I’m on a roll and frankly, this is my favorite subject and so I don’t want to stop.
"So maybe I don't know what your favorite meal is, maybe I don't even know your birthday. But what I do know is beautiful, and Evie, what I do know lets me know that I want to know more."
The fact is, I do know her birthday. I know it as well as I know my own, but it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t. It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t know any more than what it took to figure out in a week and a half. And I know that for a fact, because it took me fifteen minutes to know she was someone I was going to fall in love with when I was f**king eleven years old. The day I first noticed her, sitting at that dinner table wearing her heart on her sleeve, she brought me back to life and made me hope. In those first few minutes, that’s what she had done. And that’s why my betrayal of her made me hate myself so goddamn much.
This all swirls through my mind at lightning speed as we stare into each other’s eyes, standing at a bus stop on a city street. I’m lost in the depths of the dark brown windows to her soul.
"Um, Jake," she finally says quietly.
"What, Evie?"
"I missed my bus. I'm gonna need a ride."
Her words penetrate and I can’t help the giant grin that I feel spreading across my face.
I lead her to my car and deposit her in the passenger side as I make my way around and get in the driver’s side.
I pull onto the street. I need to make sure Evie is perfectly clear about Gwen, too. "I want you to listen to me about last night."
She glances over at me, biting the inside of her cheek. Her tell.
"Gwen's father is the CFO of my father's company. And when I say 'my father's company,' I really mean to say 'my company,' because that's what it is now, but that's a transition my brain is still working on." I didn’t even realize that was true until I just said it, but it is.
"Anyway, I've known Gwen and her father for a long time and over the years Gwen and I have spent some time together here and there, although I always made it clear to her that I wasn't interested in anything more than what we had, and what we had was very little. Gwen made it clear that she was interested in more, and Gwen was raised to believe that she is entitled to what she wants and that eventually, if she whines enough, she'll get it."
She’s quiet, just listening and I go on, "When I moved here, I tried to be a friend to her because, despite the fact that Gwen is a superficial bitch, I treated her disrespectfully over the years and in part that was because a side benefit of screwing Gwen was screwing my father, who was embarrassed at my treatment of a colleague's daughter."
I cringe internally, still ashamed of all the stupid shit I did over the years, but knowing why I did it. After a minute, I go on.
"I had arranged the event last night with Gwen months ago and I couldn't get out of it. It's a cause that is important to me and I didn't think it was any real skin off my teeth to bring Gwen as I'd planned. Three seconds in and I realized that I was mistaken on that front, and that was even before I saw you there."
She’s silent for a second, frowning. "Gwen made it sound like things were very current with you," she says, staring straight ahead.
Oh, I’m sure she did. I never did find out exactly what Gwen said to Evie in the bathroom, but I’m pretty sure I can figure out that it was something to the effect of, he’s mine and you’re less than dirt.
"That's because Gwen saw the way I looked at you, she saw your beauty, and Gwen did what she thought would work to keep you away from me.
"I know that Gwen made you feel less-than because that is what Gwen does best, but, Evie, you could be wearing a gunny sack, rolling around in mud, and you would have more class in your little pinky than Gwen has in her whole designer-clad body. And Gwen knows that. And she hates that. And that is why she went out of her way to make you feel that way.
"It was killing me not to bust into that kitchen and pin you down and explain the situation to you, but you were working and I wasn't gonna make things worse for you."
She’s quiet for a good minute and I see her looking around the inside of my car and then glance down at her uniform and I know exactly what she’s thinking. She’s letting Gwen’s venom infect her and she’s thinking that maybe she is less-than. After I just told her how amazing she is, she’s letting the memory of Gwen’s words take over. It pisses me off.
"Jake," she starts, quietly, "I might not be–"
I pull into a parking space, shut the car off and turn to her. "No, Evie. Whatever you're about to say, consider whether it goes in direct contrast to everything I've just said to you in the past half an hour and if it does, just throw it out, okay?"