“So a little birdie told me you were caught kissing a certain someone at church yesterday.”
“A little birdie, huh?” I look at the sky. “That’s interesting.”
“I think it’s very interesting. And exciting,” she almost squeals. “And I’m kind of annoyed I’m getting information from a child. I thought we were better friends than that.”
“Do you call me every time you kiss a guy? Wait. Don’t answer that.”
She laughs. “Yes, I do. Or I at least tell you the next time I see you.”
“And this is the next time I’m seeing you,” I point out.
“You were going to tell me?”
“No.”
She goes on a mini rant about how I should’ve told her, how she feels like she basically wished us together, and how I’m now holding out. I head to my truck, hoping she’ll get distracted by Penn.
Things never happen when you want them to.
She chases me down the slope and continues to rail me.
I’ve fought this very topic for the last almost twenty-four hours. There’s no way to deny the excitement in my stomach or how perfectly Neely still fits in my arms. Forgetting the sweetness of her breath, the softness of her lips, is impossible, and I’ve replayed the moments with her since Mia and I pulled away from the church.
My initial worry was Mia. She seems to be taking it better than I am.
“What does this mean?” Haley asks.
I open the driver’s-side door of my truck and sit in the cab. She leans against the door, basically blocking me in.
“This means you’re trying to trap me in here and shake me down for information,” I say.
“Of course that’s what this means. I meant, what does the kiss mean?”
“You look into things too much.”
“I won’t deny that. But when you slip up and kiss a woman in front of Mia, a woman I know you have feelings for, that means something.”
I could argue this. Tell her Mia got it wrong or that it was a friendly sort of thing. I could lie to her until I’m blue in the face, and it wouldn’t matter. She’ll press on until she gets what she wants. The trouble is—what do I want?
I lay in bed all night and mulled over that question. What do I want? What can I want? I’ve been with a few women since Sara, but those relationships have been a hookup here and there. Nothing that had a stickiness to last more than a few months. They were flings, moments in time, and the women knew it.
It’s not that way with Neely. I don’t think of her and wonder where I can meet her for a quickie. I don’t forget about her while I’m hanging trim and remember her only when she calls my phone. I sure as hell don’t think of other women since she came back.
She fit right back into that spot—her spot—in my life. I think of her when I’m brushing my teeth. I wonder what it would be like to wake up with her in the morning and how it would feel to have her sitting with Mia and me at the dinner table. All the things that will only set me up for pain later because she has no interest in sticking around.
I’m eaten up with this shit. I’m no better than the teenage version of myself who overthought everything. Neely isn’t someone I can gamble with. There’s no kissing and forgetting. There’s only wanting more. Needing more. Desiring more.
And not being able to have it.
I don’t know what to do with that.
“You ignoring me?” Penn comes up to the truck, his gaze set on Haley. “My feelings are hurt.”
“How are you, Penn?” She gives him a quick once-over. “You look hot.”
Penn’s jaw drops. “I’ve waited for this moment for years.”
“No, really. Make sure you drink enough so you don’t dehydrate.”
He bites back a smile as I laugh. Haley laughs, too, but I can see she feels a little bad about teasing him.
“Seriously,” she says. “How are you, Penn?”
“You’re here. I’d say I’m more than decent right about now.”
“I’d say you were more than decent a few hours ago.” She points at his neck. “Was she blonde?”
“Was who blonde?”
“Whoever left that lipstick on your neck. It’s a bluish red, so I figured she’s probably fair headed.”
I burst out laughing as Penn clamps a hand on his neck. Haley holds her hands up by her sides and shrugs.
“You’re so predictable,” she says.
“That wasn’t lipstick. It was paint.”
“It wasn’t Claire’s night off last night, was it?” I ask. “She wears a lot of red lipstick.”
Penn plays it off like the playboy he is. “Don’t listen to him, Haley. I’m all about you right now.”
“I know you are. And in a few minutes, when you realize this is going nowhere, you’ll be about someone else. That’s the beauty of you, Penn.”
Penn looks at me. “Was that a compliment? Should I take it like one?”
“No.” I laugh. “No to both.”
“Fine, but the option is there. You need someone to keep you warm at night, I’m your man.”
Haley takes a step toward me, wagging her finger in the air. “About that . . .”
Penn’s head sweeps from her to me, to her, back to me. “You aren’t sleeping with Haley, are you? Damn it. I called dibs on her.”
“First of all—” I start before Haley chimes in.
“You can’t call dibs on a person. I’m not something you can put a stake in.”
“Wrong choice of words,” I mutter.
Penn smirks. “Oh, baby. I could put a stake in it all right.”
Haley’s eye roll is long and deliberate. “You’re disgusting.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Penn heads back up to the house. “I’m taking lunch in twenty.”
“Okay,” I call after him. Turning my attention back to Haley, I sigh. “As you were saying?”
“I made a decision. I’m going cold turkey. I’m not dating anyone for six months.”
Draping my arm over the steering wheel, I raise a brow. “You think you can pull that off?”
“I don’t know, but I have to do something. My track record is broken heart, broken heart, broken heart. Even if you think they don’t qualify.” She looks over her shoulder as Matt and Mia start down the slope. “I fall in love too easily. So, new rule: no talking to, dating, having dinner with, having sex with anyone for six months. Starting now.”
“I want to be all supportive, but I don’t think you can do it.” I chuckle. “You aren’t without a guy for three days at a time, Hay. How do you think you’ll make it six months?”
She sticks her hand out toward me. “Bet me.”
“What are we betting?”
“If I win, I get to name your baby with Neely.”
“What?” I ask, laughing hard. “You’re outta your mind.”
She shrugs. “And if you win, you get to pick the next three guys I date.”
Rubbing my hands together, I watch her confidence wane. “Deal.” I snatch her hand in mine and shake before she can reconsider.
“That looks like serious business,” Matt says as he and Mia approach. “Do I even want to know?”
I glance quickly at Mia. “Not right now. So what are you doing today, rascal?”
“We did the library this morning, and now we’re going for shaved ice.”
“News to me,” Haley says. “I thought we were going to your house and cleaning out your closet.”
Mia twists her face. “Maybe shaved ice and then the closet?”
“I think we can make that work,” Haley says. “Dane, I need ten bucks.”
Fishing in my back pocket for my wallet, I pull out the soft leather. A twenty goes from my palm to Haley’s.
“Dad, I was wondering something,” Mia says.
The wallet goes back in my pocket at a snail’s pace as I absorb the inkling of something behind Mia’s words. “What’s that?”
“Can we see Neely tonight?”
Just mentioning her sends a zing of excitement through my body. Mia catches this and starts a little dance, and I realize I have to catch myself, and her, before this gets any further out of control.
“I bet she has things to do,” I say. Mia stops moving. “She’s going home soon. You know that, right?”
Matt takes a step back. Then another. Then makes his way back up the slope, not wanting a part of this conversation. Haley, on the other hand, stands behind Mia with her hands on my daughter’s shoulders.
“I heard her tell Aerial that. I know she doesn’t live here. But . . . but that was before you kissed her, Dad.”
Blowing out a breath, I climb out of the truck. I kneel in front of her so we’re eye to eye. “That was a friendly kiss. I told you she and I are friends,” I say gently. “Neely is a nice person, and I like her very much. But that’s all. She’s going home soon and that’s that.”
The words taste awful coming out of my mouth. It’s hard not to cringe at the way my stomach twists admitting that. Haley watches me, putting me on the spot, and I try to remain as unaffected as I can. For Mia. For Haley. And for me.
Mia’s head cocks to the side, her cheeks rosy from the sun. “I don’t know a lot about kisses, but I know I don’t kiss my friends like that.”
I laugh as I stand straight again. “And you better never kiss anyone at all. Got it?”
She just grins. “I think Neely thinks she’s your girlfriend.”
That’s enough. I pick up my daughter and toss her over my shoulder. She squeals in delight as I twirl her around and head toward Haley’s car.
“What do you know about girlfriends, anyway?” I ask. “You’re a baby.”
She kicks her sandal-clad feet in the air. “I’m not a baby.”