Make sure the phone is charged.
Brush my hair and add some straightening balm. Brush it again.
Open the computer and do a quick scan of the Archon Sports website.
By the time the phone rings, my nerves are a little more even-keeled. I answer it. “Hello?”
“Is this Ms. Kimber?”
I settle into my desk chair. “It is. Is this Mr. Snow?”
“How are you today?”
My breathing evens out, and I fall right back into the role of professional and try to get myself back on track.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NEELY
Do you think you got the job?” Grace asks. “I need you back here. I’ve learned over the past week that you are the only person I really like.”
A flock of birds take off as I pass their little perch on the top of the slide. The park is empty except for one child and their mother over on the swings.
“I think it went well. He said he’d get back to me soon, so we’ll see.”
“Let me know as soon as you know. A bunch of concert dates were just posted in Cooper Square, and tickets go on sale on Friday. I’ll grab us some if you’ll be back.”
“Sounds good.”
The sun filters through the old trees in the center of the park. I walk the circular drive that encompasses the play area. From my mom’s house to the park, around the drive, and back is one mile even. I’ve probably coursed this circle five times now, but my brain is too tired to compute how far that is.
“Hang on,” I tell Grace. A rumble sneaks up behind me. An engine revs, making me dash off the asphalt and onto the grass. “Why don’t you . . .” I turn to see Dane’s truck pulling up beside me. “Hey.”
He stops. Arm resting on the window, hat on backward, he grins. “What are you up to?”
“Just walking. Needed some activity and fresh air today.”
“Could’ve come to the jobsite. I’d have hired you in place of Penn.”
“I’m not good with a hammer.”
“I could teach you.” He plucks the truck into park. “Want to grab some dinner?”
“Can you hang on one second?” I hold up a finger and lift the phone to my ear. “Hey, Grace. I’m gonna call you back later, okay?”
“I love his voice. In my mind, he’s wearing red-and-black flannel with a big wad of chew in his bottom lip. That’s so gross—I hate spit. But it’s also hot in a weird southern-boy kind of way.”
Laughing, I look at Dane. He’s looking at his own phone.
“Well, it’s too hot for flannel and tobacco causes cancer. Your vision is all wrong.”
“Wanna paint me a picture?”
“No,” I say. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“Fine. Bye.”
“Bye.” Shoving the phone in my pocket, I walk up to the truck. He puts his phone on the console.
“So, dinner?” he asks again.
My stomach flutters. There’s nothing I want more than to hop in his truck and drive back roads with him until the sun sets. But then I think of the interview today, and I know it’s not a good idea. For any of us.
“How’d Mia take seeing us kiss yesterday?” Saying the words out loud causes my thighs to clench. “Was she okay with it?”
Dane laughs. “Oh, she was okay with it. She’s told everyone she knows and now thinks we’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Really? That’s adorable.”
“I’ve tried to explain that it was a friendship kiss, but she didn’t buy it.”
“A friendship kiss, huh?” I grin. “Well, I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.”
He reaches out of the truck and almost touches me but stops a few inches short. “How did you classify it?”
“Total friendship kiss. That’s exactly what it felt like.”
Dane shakes his head. “I didn’t say that’s what it felt like.”
We laugh together. I grip the doorframe as we exchange a heated look.
“Come on. Have dinner with me,” he says. “Or go for a ride. Whatever you want to do.”
“I don’t want to confuse Mia any more, Dane. She’s so sweet, and I don’t want her to think I’m another woman coming in and leaving.”
A slow, infectious smile slides across his face. “Well, Mia isn’t here, is she?”
There’s nothing about that I can say no to.
“I haven’t been here for years.” Climbing out of Dane’s pickup, I breathe in the water-infused air.
Dogwood Lake sits right below us. From our vantage point on the bluff, we can see the changes in blues as the depths vary. A few boats remain as the sun begins to set against the prettiest backdrop of tall pines and rippling water. Purples and pinks streak across the sky as a farewell to the day.
“I bring Mia up here sometimes,” Dane says. He joins me at the front of the truck. “She likes to bring a little portable grill and have picnics. It’s fun.”
“It sounds fun.”
“Are you going to miss this when you leave?” He doesn’t look at me when he says it. His gaze remains focused on the lake in front of us. There’s something about the way he asks the question that makes me think it’s less about if I’ll miss things and more about whether I am really leaving.
I take a couple of steps ahead of him so he can’t see my face. “Yes. I’ll miss this.” I force a swallow. “I had an interview today.” When he doesn’t respond after a few seconds, I look over my shoulder.
He’s standing still, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his face sober. It makes my heart twist.
“How’d it go?” he asks carefully.
“Good, I think. It’s a few notches down the totem pole from where I was, but there’s a lot of room to move and grow there.”
“Can I ask why you’re looking for a new job?”
I blow out a hasty breath. “To keep it simple, I was passed over for a promotion that was mine. I hate when people say that, but it really was. My bosses created a whole new department based on my idea, and they didn’t give me an opportunity to get in there and see it come to fruition. So I quit.”
He gauges my reaction before reacting himself. Finally, he chuckles. “I’m not surprised.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because. Look at you. You’re . . .” His voice trails off and is replaced with a laugh. “You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and you go get it. You’re strong, Neely. You’re smart. You trust your gut and don’t let anything get you off track. Hell, you were leaving Dogwood Lane before I slept with Katie. Before you hated me. I respected the hell out of that then, and I respect the hell out of you now for this.”
I gulp, not sure what to say.
His features soften. “You’re what I want Mia to be.”
My lips part. I can barely make him out through the tears in my eyes. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I feel like a baby. I turn away so he doesn’t see me dabbing my eyes with the end of my shirt. Just as I’m bringing the fabric to my face, a set of strong arms wraps around me from behind.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he mutters against the back of my head. “But fuck it if I can help it.”
There’s no stopping myself from relaxing into him. It’s comfort at its best. My body fills with a tingling warmth that I would harness and keep forever if I could. I close my eyes, breathe Dane in, and appreciate the moment where nothing matters but this.
“I’ve tried to avoid this with you,” I tell him.
“Yeah. Me too.” He rests his chin on the top of my head. “But for what it’s worth, you didn’t put up too much of a fight.”
My chest shakes as I laugh. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m a sucker for pain.”
He twists me around in his arms. A hint of perspiration dots his forehead as he watches me with a cautious glance. “I don’t want there to be any more pain between us. I know you’re leaving. I got that. I’m aware. But I’d like to enjoy however long you’re here, if we can. If that’s okay?”
My brain buzzes with confusion and excitement. Alarms also buzz in my ears, warning me that the potential to get destroyed is very real. If this were a business decision, I’d take some time to ponder it. But it’s not. It’s Dane. “I’d like that too.”
He takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the bluff. The colors are fading, the sun barely bridged over the horizon.
“I was afraid of your reaction to Mia,” he admits. “I didn’t know if you knew she was my child or if you’d dislike her on principle.”
I force a swallow, trying to shove the guilt of my feelings on this topic back down. It doesn’t work. My throat constricts instead.
“I spent a lot of nights hating the idea of her.” My head whips to his as I lay this out there, knowing I can’t take it back. “I would just lie in my bed in the dorm or in my apartment and think how her life ended a part of mine.” I look at the ground. “That makes me sound terrible.”
“I don’t blame you for feeling that way.” He takes my hand again and gives it a squeeze. “It’s true in a way. If I hadn’t gotten Katie pregnant, who knows what would’ve happened? But that being said,” he says, lifting my chin so I’m looking him in the eye, “I wouldn’t change it. I know that sounds like a dick thing to say to you of all people, but I can’t imagine my life without that little girl.”
His words hurt a part of me that wishes he and I had been able to experience something like having a child together. But the longer I look in his eyes, the longer I really think about it, the wound sort of fills.
He was made to be Mia’s dad. Knowing them together now, I can’t imagine him without her or her without him. It’s a weird thing to consider, especially knowing how much I’d wished she didn’t exist for so long, but it’s still true.