Jay shoves Pike away, but Pike grabs his arm, throws his fist back, and comes down like a hammer, pounding Jay in the face and sending him collapsing to the ground. I walk onto the porch, seeing the bystanders stop and watch, while others call out.
“What the hell’s going on?” I hear Cole’s voice.
Glancing over, I spot him come out from the side of the house. I step up to the railing and watch Pike, pulling Jay up off the ground and throwing him into a car.
“Dad!” Cole shouts, rushing up.
But no one else seems to notice him.
“Don’t worry.” Jay laughs at Pike, blooding trickling off his lip. “We can share the little whore.”
Cole turns to me. “Did Jay hurt you?”
I guess it wasn’t hard for him to figure out who the ‘whore’ was he was referring to. I say nothing.
Jay turns his gaze on me, shouting, “Why don’t you tell Cole how cozy you and his dad have been here without him?”
“What?” Cole looks between us, confusion etched on his face.
“I’ll see you again, Jordan!” Jay calls out, shoving Pike’s hand away and pulling out his car keys. “You’ll be working at The Hook just like your sister, and I’ll come in there and buy your ass. That’s a prom—”
Another fist lands across his face, but it’s not Pike this time. Cole has rushed over to him and sent him tripping backward to the sidewalk.
Jay growls, spitting on the ground and bringing his hand to his lips and pulling it away, inspecting it.
“You knocked out one of my teeth!” he barks.
“Get out of here!” Cole yells, throwing out his arms. “Go!”
Sweat glistens across Pike’s brow, and he looks at me with the same eyes he had the night we first slept together. When I straddled him on my bed, and he gazed up at me, giving in and giving me everything he had.
Everything else around us disappears. He grinds his fists at his sides, and his body is rigid, like he’s about to charge me and pull me into his arms and carry me away.
“You two?” I hear Cole say.
I blink, Pike drops his gaze, and the spell is broken. Cole stands between us, looking back and forth at us as people slowly disperse, and I see him start to connect the dots with the way we were just looking at each other.
“Jordan?” Cole nudges for me to say something, but I just lower my gaze, unable to look at him.
Pike swallows, breathing shallow. “Cole—”
“Oh, fuck you,” Cole tells him, cutting him off and backing away.
Pike takes a step but Cole spins around and charges away, out of the yard and down the street.
Pike doesn’t follow. He knows his son at least as well as I do, and Cole won’t hear anything tonight. And what would Pike say to make it better anyway? Damage is done.
Pike stands there, staring after Cole and looking like the life has been sucked out of him. What does he have now?
Pulling out my keys, I head down the porch stairs and walk to my car, not stopping or hesitating as I pass Pike Lawson.
And he doesn’t follow me, either.
I now know he meant what he implied last night. I’m not worth it.
I know everything is a mess, I type on my phone. Please know it wasn’t about revenge. It just happened, and I’m sorry.
I’ve been staring at my phone for twenty minutes, trying to figure out what to say to Cole. I’m logging off social media and only talking to my sister and select few others for a while. I need space and quiet. I just didn’t want to go silent without something.
I’m not sorry it happened, but I am sorry if it hurt him. I reasoned with myself that he cheated on me, and I don’t owe him anything.
But I don’t want it to end like this. I’m fine with leaving. I’m fine with not seeing him right now.
I just needed him to know…. It wasn’t about him.
Do you love him? His reply pops up.
Needles prick the back of my throat, and I press the Power button on the side of my phone, shutting it down.
I force the lump down my throat and stuff the phone in the side pocket of my bag and zip it up, closing my eyes to push back the tears.
Shel enters the liquor room where I’m standing in front of a stack of beer crates, and instead of handing me my paycheck she went to go get, she takes a wad of cash and slips it into my bag without letting me see it.
After I crashed at my sister’s again last night, I came here today to collect my pay before leaving. But judging by the stack of bills she just hid in my bag, she no doubt slipped me a lot more than what I’d earned.
If I fight her, it would just be a waste of energy. I make a mental note to work extra hours when I come back. Whenever that is.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, resting her hand on her hip and peering at me.
“I don’t know.”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
She sighs, and I pull my bag up, swinging it over my shoulder.
“Normally that would scare me, but…” I trail off, thinking. “I don’t want to keep doing anything I’ve been doing. I just want to wake up tomorrow and not recognize anything about my life.” I raise my eyes, looking at her. “And please don’t give me some lecture on how I’m running away, floundering, letting others control what I feel…”
She takes my shoulders, speaking firmly. “Run,” she tells me flatly. “Run far away. Just go. Call if you need anything, okay?”
I nod, thankful she understands. “Can you tell Cam not to worry? I’m fine, and I’ll call her.”
“You’re not going to see her?”
Tears threaten, and I veer around Shel and out of her grasp, walking out of the liquor room. “I can’t.”
If I think too long, or I look at her face, I’ll chicken out. Pike told me once ‘hit the ground running.” I’m sure this isn’t what he meant, but I’m going for it.
Jordan Hadley doesn’t leave her job. She doesn’t jump into a rundown, unreliable vehicle and hit the road with nowhere to go. And she’s certainly too afraid to ever be alone.
If I think, I won’t do it. I’m going. No turning back. Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow, the next day, or next week, but the longer I keep my foot on the gas, the farther I’ll be from who I was.
I stop at the bar and pick up my sweater that I’d laid on a stool.
“I know it hurts,” Shel says, coming up behind me. “You were happy.”
“I’ll be fine.” I hook the sweater over my bag, avoiding her eyes. “He wasn’t my first.”
“Yes, he was.”
I stop and look over at her, the knots in my stomach tightening.
“You don’t have to say anything, but you know…” she continues, “you didn’t feel this with Cole or Jay or anyone else.”
I look away again, biting the corner of my mouth to keep my feelings in check.
I’ll get over him. And very soon, every memory will fade, all his words and how every touch felt. It’ll all fade.
“But let me tell you something, girl,” she goes on, speaking low and discreet for the few customers in the place. “What you feel for him or anyone else isn’t what you need. This—” she taps my chest over my heart, “what you’re feeling right now—is the best thing that can happen to you. Because when all the pieces of your heart start to come back together, and they will, they’ll be stronger. And much tougher for someone to pierce.” She pushes my hair behind my ear in the way she always does. “So you can be sure that when someone finally does, he’ll have worked for it. We don’t need food to survive this life as much as we need our hearts broken at least once. But the best part is, the first break is always the worst. It’ll never feel this bad again.”
And for that, I’m glad.
But it also makes me wonder…. If my heart will never break this badly again, then will I love anyone like I loved Pike Lawson?
Pike
I pull up in front of Lindsay’s, scanning the parking lot around me for Cole’s Challenger. I don’t see it, but I can barely see anything through the rain right now. I’ve called him and Jordan nonstop for the past twenty-four hours, but I can’t take it anymore. If he wants time, I can do that. If he needs space, I’ll give it to him.
But I need to apologize to his face. I need him to know I love him, and I didn’t mean for this to happen.
Not that he’ll listen or probably even hear me through his anger, but I can’t sit around anymore.
Climbing out of my truck, I run to Lindsay’s door, under the covered porch, and pound with my fist. It’s been raining all day, and while I let the guys have the day off, I still went to the site and took care of business just to kill time until Cole got off work today. If he started his new job already, that is.
Lin opens the door, still in her pencil skirt from her office job but barefoot and her shirt untucked. She sees me and crosses her arms over her chest, pinning me with a smug look.
“I want to talk to him,” I tell her.
“You’ve done enough,” she sneers, pulling out her tight ponytail. “Jesus, I thought I was the bad parent. What were you thinking? Taking his leftovers like there isn’t any other woman in this town you can pound?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Spare me the details.” She reaches over to a nearby table and grabs a glass with what’s most likely vodka and orange juice. “She’s no different than you thought I was. She used you, Pike. Used you for a place to live and utilities, and oh, what else did you do? Fix her car, too?” She shakes her head, smiling bitterly. “She lucked out with you, and all she had to do was open her legs. Christ, you men really are dense when it comes to a pretty face.”
My jaw tensed. Jordan isn’t like that. She’s nothing like you.
I’m not here to talk about her anyway.
“You don’t know anything,” I grit out.