So, I’m sending you this song. It says everything I want to and can’t. And if you feel any differently about me … us, after reading this, then you know where I’ll be.
I’ll always be waiting for you.
Jordan
I wipe the tears from my face.
“God, you’re killing me here! What does it say?” Danni looks like she’s about to burst, so I hand the letter to her.
I watch her eyes scan over the letter. She reaches the bottom and looks up at me. Tears are glistening in her eyes.
“Holy hell … that was…” She presses her hand to her chest. “You have to listen to the song.” She thrusts the case at me.
“I don’t have a CD player – just an iPod,” I say defeated.
Her eyes scan my room. “Television!” she exclaims. “It has a built in DVD player – you can listen to it through that.”
My heart lifts. I jump to my feet, taking the disc with me.
I turn the TV on, and wait for it to come to life. My whole body is trembling.
“You’re a genius,” I say to Danni as she comes to stand beside me.
“It’s a gift.” She shrugs.
I take the disc from the case and insert it into the player.
Waiting for it to load feels like an eternity.
Then the song Jordan sent me starts to play, and the soft guitar intro to The Scripts “Man Who Can’t Be Moved” fills the room.
My heart picks up pace, and my eyes close on the lyrics. I absorb them. Hearing exactly what Jordan is trying to tell me.
‘I’ll always be waiting for you’
He’s waiting for me.
Danni grabs my hand at my side. I look across at her.
“Don’t wait the week. Go to him. Now.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jordan
It’s been three months since she left. Two and a half since I sent the letter and song.
I haven’t heard from her.
The song didn’t work.
It was lame and stupid of me to think it would.
After waiting a few weeks to hear from her, I accepted she wasn’t coming back … and then I got pissed.
I guess it was one of the stages I had to go through. I’d done the depression. It was time for angry, so I went out and got trashed.
And I hooked up with a random chick.
Not my finest moment.
But it only got as far as her hand down my pants, jerking me off before I stopped it, because in that moment I’d realized that I could sleep with this girl, but I’d only feel the same, probably shittier, when I woke up the next morning. I’d still be in the same position. Mia still wouldn’t be here with me. I’d still f**king miss her. I’d still have this gaping hole in my chest that only she can fill. Screwing some random chick wasn’t going to fix that. It wasn’t going to fix me. So I removed her hand from my pants, told her I was sorry, and left.
Since then, the only action my c**k has seen is from my hand.
I think about Mia. And I don’t mean when I’m jerking off. But while the subject is here, of course I think about her while I date my hand.
She’s the only thing I think about.
I figure at some time in the future, I won’t think about her so much. That I’ll eventually get there. Just maybe not right now.
So I’m keeping busy. I’ve been doing more tours for Wade. The first time I went back up to La Plata Canyon after being there with Mia was hard, but I swallowed past it, and now it’s getting a little easier each time I do a tour up there.
The hotel is still quiet fairly, but we’re chugging on and I’m working on a website for the hotel, signing up to tourist and travel agent sites, getting our name out there. My mission is to have the hotel busier than it’s ever been by next summer.
Dozer comes over and plants his face on my legs. “Hey, buddy, whatcha up to?” I say, pulling my eyes from the computer to look down at him. He got his cast off a while back, and he is totally back to himself.
Except he still misses Mia.
At times, I feel like there’s only him who understands me.
He nudges my leg with his head, and brings his paw up batting me with it.
“What? You hungry?” I reach onto the desk and grab one of the cookies I was eating.
I give it to him, and he takes it, laying down to eat it.
I rub my tired eyes, and look back to the spreadsheet I’m working on. Accounts. Fun times.
I know it’s bad when it’s a Friday night and even my dad is out on a date, but I’m sitting here with my dog, working the accounts.
I really need to get a f**king life.
The hotel phones rings.
“Golden Oaks,” I say, leaning back in my chair.
“You’re home on a Friday night? You really are turning into a sad case.”
“Thanks, Beth. You really know how to boost a guy’s confidence.”
She laughs. “Confidence is one thing you will never lack in, Jordan.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, you’re giving me grief, but it’s not like you’re out, hitting up the town.”
“Um, working girl here.”
“Your mom isn’t paying you enough at the diner, so you’ve had to turn to being a hooker. Sounds like a Lifetime movie in the making”
“Ha. Smart ass. I called because I thought I’d let you know I’m sending a tourist up your way. Thinking I should change my mind, tell her to go somewhere else…”
“Okay. I take it back. Only, as long as this tourist isn’t like the last one you sent me. Kinda got my heartbroken the last time you did that.” I try to come off as jokey and light, but it doesn’t work.