“I know,” he said.
“And when I’m done...” She’d be wiped out, but she’d get a little food, power nap, check her patient through the night. She probably wouldn’t leave the hospital until early morning, then she’d come right back. “My hair is going to be so ugly.”
He laughed. As if she ever gave much of a damn about things like hair. “Come here,” Cal said. “Kiss me. Then go. Call or text to tell me you’re there.”
She gave him a lingering kiss. “What would I do without you?”
“You’re never going to know.”
Elizabeth came toddling into their bedroom. “Mama! Mama! Wight now!”
Maggie covered her little face with kisses. This was their routine. Maggie was one of several surgeons partnered with neurologists, physical and occupational therapists in the Denver practice. She spent three or four days a week in Denver. On easy weeks she could drive ninety minutes to Denver, early on the first day, and head home at the end of the third day. On more demanding weeks, like this one, she would spend five nights, often including pulling call in the emergency room. But this she was more than willing to do because there were a few things that made her heart beat. Her husband, her daughter, her profession. And she wanted to raise Elizabeth in the pristine beauty of the Rockies.
* * *
When Finn got home from school Rob was ready to go. They had both packed small bags. Finn argued that he could do this on his own but Rob couldn’t allow him to make this emotional journey alone. Sid and Dakota were in place to hold down the forts, both the pub and the home front, where Sean would be. Sid was tending bar and helping the assistant manager, Kathleen, while Dakota was at the house. They’d stay overnight with Sean.
“There’s a lasagna and salad ready in the refrigerator,” Rob said. “Try to convince Sean to eat some of his salad and don’t take it personally if you fail in that.”
“You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble, man,” Dakota said. “I can cook! I feed Sid all the time.”
“I usually get one of the cooks to throw something together for me to bring home if I’m pressed for time. You’re all stocked up here. I don’t know when we’ll be back. Hopefully tomorrow night but I brought a couple of changes of clothes on the off chance...”
“Don’t worry about it,” Dakota said. “I go to work early on Tuesday but I get off early and Sid will be here until she goes to the pub at noon. I’ll take Sean to the batting cages after dinner, let him burn off some energy.”
“Just make sure he’s not watching porn...”
“Aw, now what are we gonna do for fun?” Cody said, grinning. “Just take care of Finn. Check in and let us know how things are going, huh?”
“Ready?” Finn asked, hefting his bag, looking at his dad. God, he looked so old, Rob thought. He looked more like a medical intern than a high school senior, soon to be college freshman. Maybe it was the seriousness of the situation that had etched the lines of worry onto his young face.
“Ready,” Rob said. “We’ll get something to eat when we get there.”
“I’m not hungry,” Finn said.
Dakota put a strong hand on Finn’s shoulder. “It’s going to be all right, buddy. I hear by the grapevine that my sister-in-law is the surgeon. She’s a lot like your aunt Sid—brilliant and accomplished.”
“I know. Thanks, Cody.”
“Try to think positive.”
“Man, I’m trying.”
“Let’s hit it,” Rob said. “We’re going to have some traffic, this time of day.”
Rob didn’t want this for his boy, this kind of drama. Instead of going to prom, Finn and Maia stayed at her house that night, had a nice dinner with her family, watched a movie. When Rob asked him what movie, he couldn’t even remember. This week, with finals done, the seniors would have their awards ceremonies, announcement of scholarships and college and ROTC placements; they’d have their Senior Skip Day, a greatly anticipated day of messing around at the lake or on the rivers. Friday night was graduation but Rob wasn’t sure if Finn would take part in it. Finn might not be part of any of it. He’d asked Rob not to plan any celebrating until after Maia’s surgery; he wanted to be sure things looked good before he shook off his worry and enjoyed all the perks or being a new graduate.
The high school was fantastic in their support. Finn’s finals were done, his grades were in; he’d finished with a high GPA. “Maia said she’d get really pissed if I blew off the finals and finished badly,” Finn said.
So they were headed to Denver to sit vigil. Finn insisted on being there to kiss her good-night tonight. Perfectly understandable. And because Maia’s parents couldn’t deny her anything before her surgery, they told Finn he was welcome.
The struggle all of this presented to Rob was an emotional boulder on his chest. He talked to Leigh about it. “He’s just a boy and I know he thinks he’s in love but I think he’d been dating her for about six months when the tumor was discovered. I want to go back to being worried about normal things, like is he getting too serious, too soon. Not is his first real girlfriend going to die and break his heart forever.”
“You’re doing exactly the right thing,” Leigh had said. “You treat this just like he’s treating it—seriously. Support him the whole way or he’ll try to go it alone. At least he’s talking to you. That’s so important.”
Rob knew the worst thing he could do was say, But you’ve only dated her for a few months! What Finn was experiencing was very real, very frightening.
What would Rob do if Leigh suddenly discovered a tumor? He’d be devastated. Terrified. He’d just found her and infatuation filled him up inside. The thought of possibly losing her now was unthinkable.
He couldn’t do it again, that’s all. He’d die, probably. In no time at all she’d become the center of his universe. He was pretty concerned about that actually. On their second official date, they’d fallen into bed like crazed lovers and had spent the weeks since meeting whenever and wherever they could find the time and the privacy. The part of him that felt eighteen again was balanced perfectly with the part that thought, At last!
It wasn’t just the sex, though that was incredible. It was the way they were together, the way they could talk, the way they could understand each other and their commitments. Their banter was fun. She was so sensitive to his obligations and he hoped she felt he supported hers. She was a busy doctor; people depended on her and she would never let them down. He wasn’t as smart or important, maybe, but he had employees and a business people depended on, not to mention two sons—he wanted to be sure he wasn’t leaving anyone underserved. His to-do list was always long. He made sure he wasn’t just phoning it in. He always checked off each item and was sure the boys knew he was completely there for them.
And, during this emotional crisis, Leigh had been completely there for him.
Rob had a persistent ache in his chest as he remembered sitting at Julienne’s bedside, holding her lifeless body in his arms, weeping. He hadn’t been haunted by that memory in recent years.
Of course he had loved Julienne. He’d loved her deeply, even if he hadn’t acted like it all the time. Her death was not just the passing of his wife, his lover; it was also the death of everything he’d planned and wished for. The death of a dream. He’d intended to be a successful restaurateur. He took great pride in his work, in his family. He’d looked forward to the years as the boys grew older, the times they’d play together as a family and the times they’d watch them at their sports. Then suddenly he was going to be doing it alone. All alone. Everything they turned out to be was on him. And at the end of a long day—and there would be many long days—there was no one to share it with, no one to complain to, no one to help. It felt like the death of his future.
He didn’t want to watch his son go through that. Not so young.
They got to Denver at five and grabbed a quick dinner. Rob talked Finn into eating, though all he wanted was to see Maia. “You can’t stay long, anyway,” Rob said. “The night before surgery, there’s medical business. Doctors and nurses will be hanging around, her parents will be there, probably with questions and discussions. We’ll eat and go over there—you can visit with her when it’s appropriate, talk to her a little and don’t get in the way. The most important thing is that this surgery happens, successfully, so you kids can get out from under this cloud.”
“No shit,” Finn said.
As Rob pulled into the hospital parking lot his pulse picked up speed and he felt strangely light-headed. “This is between you and Maia,” Rob said. “I don’t want to get in the way. Go ahead. I’ll wait right here. Take your time.”
* * *
Finn went into Maia’s room at about six thirty. Her mom sat beside the bed and smiled at him. “Hi, Finn,” Mrs. MacElroy said.
“Hi,” he said. “Thanks for letting me come. I’ll stay out of the way, I promise. But if there’s any way I can help you and Mr. MacElroy...”
“Thank you, sweetheart. I’m going to get a cup of coffee and let you kids have a visit. I’ll be back soon.”
The minute she was out of the room, Finn moved closer and Maia reached for him. She was sitting up, looking beautiful, even smiling. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, getting a little teary. “I hate that you have to go through this.”
“It’s going to be fine,” he said. “I mean, it’s going to be hard, then it’s going to be fine. I just want you to know I’ll be here all day tomorrow. I’ll come early, before you go in, and I’ll stay until it’s done.”
“Are you driving back and forth, all this way?”
“No, we’re staying at the hotel. My dad and me. We’ll stay as long as I think I need to be close. I’m not going to get in the way tonight, but my phone is charged and if you wake up in the night and need me, call me. We can at least talk if you want to.”