“God, Finn...”
He sat down and hung his head. “Of all the people I know, she’s probably the one who deserves this the least.” He lifted his head. “Dad, I love her, you know.”
Rob just nodded. He was sure Finn felt that way, he just wasn’t sure it was for the best reasons. It might be the tragedy of it, the fear and hopelessness it presented. If they had a normal relationship and went off to separate colleges in the fall, things might be completely different.
“I wanted to go with her, hear what the doctors say for myself, but her mom and dad said it would be best if it was just them. I understand that. But I’ll get to talk to her every day. Listen, if she has an operation...”
“Let’s work through that when the time comes,” Rob said.
“Fine, but just so you know, no matter where she is, no matter what else is going on, whether they let me see her or not, I’m going to be there, nearby, if she has surgery.”
“I understand. We’ll work something out.”
And Rob thought, Leigh’s timing couldn’t be better. He’d never needed someone like her in his life more than right now. Her touch made his life, his complicated life, feel manageable. He could do all he had to do and then fall into her arms, arms that would not restrain him or hold him down.
* * *
Helen made it a point to make plans with Leigh for dinner, just the two of them. She drove all the way to Breckenridge for her groceries—she’d seen a nice meat market there. She bought stuffed portobello mushrooms, tossed a fresh spinach salad with bacon sprinkled on top and added some wild rice to the meal. A bottle of wine she knew Leigh loved sat on the table, breathing.
“Helen, this is awesome. Are we celebrating something?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. Isn’t it time you told me a little about your relationship with Rob?”
Leigh laughed a little. “I’m not sure what to tell you.”
Helen poured the wine. “I won’t push you too hard until you get to your second glass. Then I’m going in for the kill.”
“You don’t have to pour so much wine to set me up. I’m crazy about him. It’s going to break my heart if I find out he’s not the perfect man.”
“You’re in love,” Helen said. “I thought so. I haven’t seen you glow like this before. Not ever! My God, you trotted about a dozen doctors past me and not one of them lit you up at all, but this pub owner has you shooting off sparks.”
“We aren’t discussing love. He made it clear right away—he’s not in the market for another wife. Promise me you aren’t going to go telling the town,” Leigh said. “He’s a man with a lot of responsibility and exposure. He must see half the town in his pub every week. I imagine people he considers customers consider him a friend. I wouldn’t want him to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.”
“Are you? Embarrassed or uncomfortable?” Helen asked.
“I’m not, but I am trying to be somewhat discreet. Eleanor and Gretchen are quizzing me all the time and all I will tell them is that we’ve had a couple of dates, lunch or dinner.”
“And is there more to this thing?” Helen asked.
Leigh smiled. “Yes,” she said softly.
Helen put her hand on her chest. “Thank goodness!”
That made Leigh laugh. “He’s an exciting man,” she said. “But he’s also a family man and his sons keep him hopping. Still, when we do steal a little time, he makes me feel as if I’m the only thing on his mind.”
“He must be falling in love,” Helen said. “Despite what he says!”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The first night we went out to dinner we were in a quiet place where we could talk. We put all our cards on the table. He’s raised two sons, mostly alone. He was very straightforward—he took note of my age and said, ‘You have time for a family.’ He was honest—he wasn’t interested in starting a second family, but he did say he wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend. I was just as honest—I told him I assumed I probably wouldn’t marry and I really don’t have any interest in having children.”
“Really?” Helen asked. “He’s right, you’re young. There’s time.”
“I’m completely content,” she said. “I really am. Aren’t you?”
“Leigh, I actually wanted to find a man I could make a life with. A couple of times...no, more than a couple of times, I thought I was in love. I had high hopes, but it didn’t work out. I could be married now if I’d been willing to compromise, but no. No, no, no—that is not the answer. I knew the man I chose had to be one hundred percent right for me. For us.”
Leigh was quiet for a moment. “You never said anything about being in love.”
“I’m sure I did. Once when I was young, before you came along, I had a steady guy for three years. I thought we might get married, but when it came time to talk about that, he moved on. Once when you were young, a couple of years after your mother died, I had a steady guy for a long while—Will. I even brought him around. We took you to the Ice Capades and a few basketball games.” Leigh just frowned. “When you were busy with your residency, when you hardly noticed anything else, I had a steady guy who I really liked and was very optimistic about, but sadly it turned out he had many girlfriends, the rat bastard. In between, I dated here and there. I had a nice little fling with a suspense writer from Connecticut but after a couple of years I realized we only ran into each other at writers’ events and conferences and the rest of our relationship was comprised of emails and phone calls. It just wasn’t going to last. He did the slow fade. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was doing better in publishing than he was and he couldn’t take it.”
“I knew about him. But... Fling?” Leigh asked.
“That’s the polite term for that thing that makes you put your hands over your ears and yell La-La-La-La when you think of your aunt Helen having sex.” Helen grinned. “I actually remember what sex is.”
“Of course you do. You just never talked about men much.”
“I have. I just didn’t make much of them since they never seemed to be serious. And besides, it irks me when women of a certain age talk about romance like they’re thirty-five. They sound perfectly ridiculous.”
That made Leigh laugh. “Are you sorry you didn’t have children?”
“Well, I had you. Had I found the right man, there might’ve been a larger family, but I had you—I wasn’t deprived. Now tell me everything about Rob...”
Leigh was only too happy to describe him down to the smallest detail. She told Helen all about that first dinner out and everything they talked about. She described his career in the restaurant business, how he knew what she was cooking just by taking a whiff of the air, about his love of all types of restaurants. He had told her about growing up with a younger sister, all about Sid’s achievements in her field of quantum computing. She told Helen about Rob’s wife and her death, about how he taught the boys to clean up after themselves as if they had a mother. “No frat house for him,” she said. “I think he’s tidier than I am.”
“Please do tell me when the imperfections turn up,” Helen said.
“Sure, but don’t hold your breath. I’m nuts about him. I’m trying to take it nice and slow but I guess I have a boyfriend.”
“About damn time, too,” Helen said. “Lucky for you I’m busy away from the house a lot! And I’m going to New York at the end of the month.”
“But do you like it here?” Leigh asked. “Are you bored?”
“God, no! I’ve met the most interesting people. I’ve made the Crossing my second home. Sully is busy at the store all day and I park out on the porch at his house with my laptop and my phone and the best view of the lake. He promised spring brought the elk calves but I haven’t seen them yet. Around the end of the day, when he takes Beau for a walk, I go along so I’m getting plenty of fresh air and exercise. And the hikers! When they come through, I find out all about them—where they’re from, what their hiking goals are, how many long trails they’ve taken on. They’re all types and all ages—from college kids to hikers my age, men and women. The campers are so interesting—sometimes they’ve known Sully for years, sometimes they’re new faces. I’ve played checkers with Frank, gotten recipes from Enid, chatted it up with the rock climbers and search and rescue guys who like to end their training day with a cold beer. I surprise myself. For someone who really likes the best hotels, I love it out there.”
“Are you and Sully becoming good friends?” Leigh asked.
“Everyone loves Sully, don’t they?” Helen said.
“What’s not to love?” Leigh said.
“Happily, though we have nothing whatever in common, we’ve formed a very nice friendship.”
“That makes me so happy,” Leigh said.
“Good,” Helen said. “And the beauty is, I’ve found someone to get me out of the house regularly so you can entertain your new boyfriend.”
Leigh blushed slightly and Helen couldn’t suppress a hearty laugh.
So will the best harmony come out of seeming
discords, the best affection out of differences,
the best life out of struggle, and the best work
will be done when each does his own work.
—James Freeman Clarke
9
AS THE MONTH of May progressed, life seemed almost exciting to Helen. Being at the Crossing so often, she met Sully’s daughter and they hit it off immediately. Maggie, it seemed, was quicker than Leigh on some matters. After they’d spent just an hour together, Maggie said, “It’s nice to put a face to the reason my dad is using so much lotion on his hands.”
“I didn’t ask him to do that,” Helen said. But what she thought was, He is really such a sweetheart.