I grab my keys from the counter and head down to my truck, getting in, starting it up, doing a U-turn in the driveway, and then head towards her parents’ house.
Turning on the wipers as the rain falls harder, I curse under my breath when I see parts of the road have been flooded from the storm. I know Lea had been crying most of the night, and I’m sure she was a mess when she left the house before I woke up. Knowing she drove in that state, with the weather this bad, only serves to piss me off more. Her car isn’t a piece of shit, but it doesn’t have four-wheel drive, and something could easily happen to her.
Seeing headlights coming toward me, I slow down then notice its Lea’s car. Flashing my lights, I put my foot on the brake and pull off to the side of the road. Her car comes to a stop a few feet in front of my truck, and before I can even open my door, she’s out of her car, running towards me, her face red and blotched with tears, but the look in her eyes is what causes my gut to clench. She looks sad, yes, but her light is back. My feet hit the muddy ground as her body runs full-force into mine, knocking the breath out of me before I have a chance to prepare myself for impact.
“I’m sorry,” she cries as her nails dig into my skin through my shirt. “I left you again. I’m so sorry.” She sobs as rain beats down on us, soaking through our clothes.
“Baby,” I say softly, running my hand over the back of her wet hair and holding her closer to me.
“You don’t un-under-st-stand I’m so afraid of being left that I believed if I left first, it wouldn’t hurt as bad, th-that I would be okay, but I’m n-not.” Her head burrows into my chest and her arms tighten around me.
“I’m not letting you go, Lea,” I tell her, dipping my head towards her ear. “I’m never letting you go, not again.”
Her head tilts back and her sad, wet eyes blink up at me as the rain falls down, washing away her tears. I hold her cheeks between my hands and lower my head, kissing her, needing her to understand I love her and haven’t given up on us.
“Let’s get you home,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers, feeling her nod.
“My car,” she hiccups as I help her into the truck.
“You’re in no shape to drive, Lea. I’m gonna pull it off to the side of the road and come back for it later,” I tell her, wiping away a few of her tears.
She nods, ducking her head, looking at her lap. Placing my fingers under her chin I pull up until her gaze meets mine. “I love you, Lea.” I tell her gently.
“You shouldn’t,” she whispers, breaking my heart.
“It’s impossible not to. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it in order for this not to happen again,” Pulling back from her I turn up the heat when I notice that her teeth are chattering hard. Shutting the door I go to her car, backing it up off the side of the road. Once I’m back in the truck again, I make a U-turn and head back to the house.
I don’t know how to deal with what is going on in her head, but I know I need to find a way to break through to her. This is something her mother should have gotten her help for. She should have made sure her daughter was taken care of. I know it’s completely fucked up to be mad at a dead woman, but I’m so fucking angry with her for not only what she did to me and Lea, but for the way she fed Lea’s illness, never understanding she wasn’t helping her by allowing her to ignore the real reason she had left home.
“I know you’re mad at me.” Lea’s soft, sad voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I take her hand in mine, locking our fingers together.
“I’m mad that you drove in your condition, but I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m worried about you.”
“I tried to fight it,” she whispers.
“I know you did, but you don’t have to fight alone, not anymore,” I tell her, giving her hand a squeeze.
When we pull up to the house, I get out and go around to her side and lift her out of the truck to carry her slight weight in my arms up the stairs. Her teeth are still chattering, and tears are still falling from her eyes as I get the sliding door open then closed, taking her up the stairs through the bedroom, into the bathroom. I set her on her feet so I can start up the bath. When I turn around, she’s watching me closely, looking unsure of what to do.
Pulling my shirt over her head, I toss it toward the laundry basket then do the same with her sweats, bra, and underwear. When I help her into the warm bath, tears are still falling from her eyes. I didn’t know one person could produce so many tears. Helping her lean back in the water then grab her shampoo and conditioner from the shower stall. Once I have her hair washed and begin using the conditioner, her eyes close and her teeth stop chattering.
“You can’t leave me again, Lea,” I rumble, feeling my throat go tight with emotions. I can handle a lot, but being without her ever again is something I don’t ever want to face.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobs, leaning over the side of the tub, soaking my shirt with her tears and water as her arms wrap around my shoulders. Kissing her hair, I unwrap her arms and use one of the bars of soap to wash her off quickly before grabbing a towel and picking her up from the tub. Carrying her into the bedroom I lay her on the bed. Then, pull off my clothes and get in with her.
“Did you ever talk to anyone when you left home? Ever talk to anyone about your dad’s death?” I ask her once I have her body almost completely under mine, where I know she won’t be able to get away again.