“What the hell?” I look at the clock, realizing it’s been two hours since I arrived home. Picking up the house phone off the counter, I dial the number for Austin’s satellite phone and listen as it rings over and over again. “He’s probably docking, Lea. Get a grip,” I tell myself, setting the phone down and turning on the TV. Nervousness begins to settle deep inside of me as I watch the Weather Channel.
An hour later, after pacing the floor and calling Austin repeatedly, I dial Rhonda to see if she’s heard anything from Ben. “Hey, did Ben make it in?” I ask her as soon as she answers, not even giving her a chance to speak.
“He just docked and said he would be home soon. Are you okay?” she asks, sounding worried.
“I can’t get ahold of Austin. Can you ask Ben if he’s heard from him, or seen him?” I inquire, stopping to look out the window.
“Honey,” she whispers, and I shake my head. I don’t like that tone; it makes me feel like I’m dumb for worrying.
“Just let me know if he’s heard from him, please,” I say, hanging up, not waiting to hear her reply. Tears start to fill my eyes, but I choke them down, whispering over and over, “It’s okay. He’s okay,” as I pace back and forth with the phone in my hand, clinging to it like a lifeline, and then almost drop it when the ringing startles me.
“Austin?” I breathe, pressing the phone to my ear.
“Lea, it’s Ben.”
My heart sinks and my eyes go to the window, not actually seeing anything as I look outside. “Have you heard from him?” I ask as my hands start to shake.
“No, I tried to use the CB, but I couldn’t get through.”
“Oh, God.” Bile crawls up the back of my throat, and I’m sure I’m going to be sick.
“I’m sure he’s fine, Lea. He probably dropped anchor and is waiting out the storm.”
“You’re probably right,” I whisper as my eyes squeeze shut. “If you hear from him, will you please call me?”
“He’s okay, Lea.”
“I know.” He has to be. There is no other option. My heart couldn’t take any more loss as it is. The fragile pieces Austin had put back together again are far too splintered to make it through anything else.
“Why don’t you come hang out with us at the house until he gets home?”
“No, it’s okay,” I say, walking over to the wall of windows, watching as the storm beats mercilessly against the sea.
“Do you want us to come to you?” Ben asks, sounding almost panicked.
“No, I’ll be fine. Kiss Rhonda and Braden for me.” I hang up, hearing Ben curse before the phone clicks off.
I sit down on the couch and continue to press redial over and over on the phone as I watch the storm outside. Every time he doesn’t answer, my worry increases until I’m practically vibrating with anxiety as I sit there with the phone in my hand.
“Hello?” I answer the phone when it rings.
“Lea.”
“Oh, Ben.”
“Hey, I just wanted to tell you there are a few boats that are docked near Shelter Bay. I’m sure that’s where Austin is.”
“How do you know?” I practically beg.
“It’s where most of the boats went that were too far out to make it to port,” he explains.
“But you’re not sure Austin is with them, right?”
“No,” he mutters, and that sinking feeling in my chest grows even bigger.
“He’s not answering,” I tell him, wiping my cheeks.
“I’m sure the storm is making it hard for him to get a signal.”
“You’re probably right,” I say, but even to my own ears my tone sounds defeated.
“Lea, he’ll come home.”
“Okay,” I tell him, holding the phone to my ear as I lie on the couch, facing the windows. “Call if you hear from him.”
I hang up then dial Austin’s number again, begging him to answer, only he doesn’t. No matter how many times I call, he doesn’t answer, and every time, I feel myself sinking deeper into the darkness until I’m drowning in it.
“Lea, baby.”
I feel myself being shaken and my eyes fly open. Austin is in front of me, wearing what he had on when he left this morning, only his clothes are soaked and his hair is wet.
“You came home.” I throw myself into his arms as a sob rips from my chest.
“Of course I did, baby.” His arms slide easily around me and he moves, sitting with me as I cry into his shirt, trying to reassure myself he’s with me, that he’s okay, but no matter what I do, it’s not working. I want to tell him I’m scared, that I don’t know if I can do this, but no words come out. All I can do I sit there and cry.
“Let’s go to bed,” he says softly, picking me up and carrying me upstairs. Once we reach the room, he gets me undressed and puts me in bed. Tears continue to silently fall from my eyes as I watch him remove his clothes, then scoot back when he lifts the blankets, climbing into bed and wrapping himself around me.
“I love you, Lea,” he says, making me cry harder as his arms wrap tighter around me, and he whispers soothing words as he rubs my back.
I lie there until the sun begins to rise, Austin’s breath has evened out, and his hand has stopped moving over me. Rolling over, I slowly slip out of his arms, not even giving myself a chance to look at him one last time before I go to the closet and pull one of his shirts off the shelf. I slip it on over my head then find my sweats, pulling them on before making my way quietly out of the room, shutting the door behind me.