“My father was one of those gangsters,” he continued. “And he was co-boss along with a friend of his called Marco Miles. Both of them built up their empire from scratch, and by the time I was twenty they had a hand in everything from prostitution to drugs and weapons. You wouldn’t think it, but it was a very secure business they had going as nearly all law enforcement was on their payroll. The Feds were the only ones not under their thumbs, and when there were a few runs in with honest cops, a payoff to the chief of the NYPD cleared that up quickly. It was a surprisingly safe environment to grow up in, but it was in no way normal. A prime example would be for the twins’ thirteenth birthday me and my brothers gifted them escorts because we felt bad about them having to jerk off all the time.”
I felt my mouth fall open, and Ryder winced.
“I know, and honestly, it’s as bad as it sounds, but that was the norm for us. Girls, girls and more girls. Guns, drugs, violence, verbal abuse… it was all we ever knew because we were exposed to it twenty-four-seven.”
I blinked. “You’ve done drugs?”
Ryder didn’t look proud of it, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’ve dabbled in a lot of different ones… probably any major one you can think of, but I never hit up enough to form an addiction. I only did it once in a while at parties or some shit like that. I gave it up after a while and was a hard ass about it with all of my brothers to make sure they never touched the stuff, and they didn’t. Thank God.”
I knew the relief he felt, because for years I prayed that I raised Bronagh right so she would know never to touch drugs, and I was blessed that she was a good kid who steered cleared of that mess.
“While I was using, I was very careful about what I consumed, that natural paranoia was instilled in me from an early age. I was aware of everything around me, and I noticed everything… it’s why Marco picked me for my job after my parents… died.”
I knew his parents died, I just didn’t know how, it was something Ryder was also mute about. I didn’t want to pry because I knew from personal experience how that felt.
“You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to.”
“I do, it’s just hard talking about all of this shit.” Ryder rubbed his face with his hand. “Right, okay. There’s no casual way to say this, but they were murdered by Marco.”
I stared at Ryder again, not being able to believe what he was saying was truth, but I saw in his eyes that he wasn’t joking. A family fucking friend murdered his parents! I couldn’t begin to imagine what that must have been like to go through.
“Oh, my God!” I gasped and instantly reached out and pressed my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Ryder looked at my hand then back up to me. “It’s okay, don’t feel sorry for me… my parents—let’s just say they weren’t like yours.”
I furrowed my brows in confusion and it caused him to sigh.
“My mother cared more about materialistic things than she did her sons’, and my father’s only interest in us was when it was to talk about us joining the ‘family business’.”
I shook my head in shock. “I am so sorry, I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you and your brothers’.”
Ryder shrugged seemingly like it was no big deal. “We leaned on one another when things got tough,” he explained. “It’s why we’re so close, Branna. We aren’t a normal family, we would die for one another without hesitation.”
I blinked. “I’d die for Bronagh without hesitation so I’d say it’s normal.”
Ryder’s lips quirked. “Not many people feel that strongly about their siblings, but mine are all I have and I’d do anything to protect them. Any. Thing.”
I understood that.
I nodded. “I would, too.”
“Keep that in mind for what I have to say next, okay?”
Oh, shit.
“Okay,” I said warily.
“I never thought I’d have to explain this to someone,” he murmured before training his gaze on me. “My parents were murdered by Marco for crossing him. They got greedy and wanted more money than they already had, so they double-crossed their business partner and friend. Understand that in our life, loyalty is everything. Every. Thing. In the compound, we were a family, and you never betray your family. If you weren’t loyal, you were nothing.”
It seemed a little over the top, but I didn’t live his life, so I nodded in understanding.
“When they died, it wasn’t like me and my brothers didn’t feel anything.” He admitted, rubbing his fingertips over his knuckles. “No matter how they treated us, they were still our parents’. That being said, we accepted their death pretty easily considering what they did, and I know that sounds inhumane, but it was what it was. Damien though, he took their death hard. He always held out hope that they would both change and become affectionate towards us. It’s my fault he is so soft hearted, I coddled him and Dominic too much to make up for what our parent’s never showed I guess.”
I couldn’t imagine what it was like to yearn for affection from your parents, but that was probably because I freely basked in it from mine.
I frowned as sadness hit me. “Poor Damien.”
Poor all of them.
Ryder kept his face expressionless as he nodded. “He had a cute girlfriend at the time called Nala, her dad was involved in the business too, but she was like the twins. She hated what he did, but accepted it because she had no other choice. Marco’s nephews, Trent and Carter, were kind of close to the twins because they were the only ones around the compound in the same age bracket. Dominic and Carter never took great interest in Nala, but Trent did.”