“Kitten?” Jack’s voice pleaded for a response, but I was too busy counting and trying not to hold my breath. When it ended, I unclenched his hand and he shook it out; apparently I’d been crushing his fingers. “I really don’t like when you get those.”
He fidgeted behind the steering wheel, his left knuckles almost white from his grip on it. “How bad do they hurt?” he asked, and then quickly changed his mind. “No. Don’t tell me. I can’t f**king handle hearing how much pain you’re in.” He huffed as he shook his head, changing his mind. “No. Tell me. What kind of man doesn’t want to know how much pain his wife is in? The kind who can’t do anything about it!” He slammed his hand against the wheel, his seesawing emotions clearly torturing him.
“Jack, stop. They aren’t that bad, okay? They’re just like sharp cramps. It’s mostly uncomfortable,” I lied. The contractions were getting stronger and longer, but Jack was right. There wasn’t anything he could do for my pain and I didn’t want him flipping out about it. It hurt me to see him react so defensively when it came to me. I reserved the right to protect my man the same way he wanted to protect me. And this was how I could do that, by avoiding the truth.
Jack glanced over at me, his face full of love and concern before he looked at the road again. “I can’t just sit here next to you while you’re gasping in pain and do nothing. It goes against everything I feel for you. It’s my job to keep you safe and protected. I know it’s illogical for me to think I can stop your labor pains, but my heart f**king feels like it’s going to explode when I hear the sounds you’re making. You being in pain doesn’t f**king work for me, Kitten. It rips me in two the second it starts. It goes against every fiber of my being to sit there and pretend like I don’t want to save you. I’d rather break my own hand again than know you’re hurting.”
I smiled, comforted by the depth of this man’s love for me. “I understand completely and I love you for it. It’s sexy as hell the way you love me, Jack. But I promise, I’m okay.”
He pulled our car into the hospital parking lot, grabbed my overnight bag, and helped me out. “I’ll carry you in if you want me to,” he offered.
“I’m fine, really,” I huffed as I waddled slowly. “I can walk.”
He wrapped a protective arm around me and guided me toward the emergency room doors. Once we were all checked in, Jack demanded a room as quickly as possible, telling anyone who would listen that I was hurting, about to give birth at any second, and I needed to lie down. The nurses tried to calm him while I mouthed an apology to any of them who looked my way. They didn’t seem fazed in the least, as if this type of behavior were an everyday occurrence in their department.
“Hi, Mrs. Carter. My name is Jane and I’ll be your nurse for today. If you’ll follow me, we’ll get you all set up.” The nurse’s hair was meticulously pulled into a tight bun, not a hair out of place, and I found myself mesmerized by this fact. Jack was right. Pregnancy had made me weird.
“Please call me Cassie,” I said, waddling behind her tiny frame down the long white corridor.
She paused in front of a wooden door and waved an arm. “We’ll be in here.”
“No one else is in here, right? She has her own room? I asked for a private room.” Jack fired off the questions without taking a breath.
“Yes, Mr. Carter. She will have her own delivery and postnatal room per your request.”
Jack walked into the room first and looked around, checking it carefully before heading back toward me.
“Sorry, he’s a little, um—” I paused, searching for the right word.
“Nervous?” She smiled. “Most of the first-time dads are,” she said, her voice gentle and comforting as she ushered us into the oversized hospital room.
Jack’s strong arm guided me forward once again. “It’s huge in here,” I said, glancing around at the spacious room. The hospital bed was small in size, but the rest of the room was elegantly decorated much like a hotel would be, with bedside tables and a desk.
A light green couch with a hideaway bed sat under the only window. An oversized brown leather chair sat in one corner of the room, and all I could think about was how cold it looked. I’d never been a big fan of leather. It always creaked and moaned whenever anyone first sat in it.
Across the room in the other corner rested the most comfortable-looking rocking chair I’d ever seen. It complemented the decor of the room with its neutral tones, entirely covered in thick cushioning. I wanted to sit in that.
“We need to get you changed and hooked up to the monitors,” Jane said as she pulled back the curtain suspended from the ceiling that surrounded the bed. “The bathroom’s right through that door behind you. Your gown is folded up on the counter. Remember, the opening goes in the back.” Jane smiled and pointed to the doorway before walking toward one of the machines.
I entered my private bathroom and changed as quickly as I could. Folding up my pajamas, I brought them out and handed them to Jack. He tossed them onto the couch into a messy pile, and I rolled my eyes.
Men.
“Do you need help into the bed?” Jack offered and I waved him off, climbing into it on my own.
Once I was lying down, I noticed the walls were painted a seafoam green color and it soothed me to look at them. Above my head was a stuffed mock headboard nailed to the wall, flanked by art glass pendant lights on each side. For a hospital room, this was pretty nice.