My face lined with confusion until I remembered Jesse had never seen me without my contacts in. Since I only took them out at bedtime and promptly replaced them after waking up, no one else at Willow Springs had either.
“I wear contacts,” I said as he continued to examine my eyes with an intensity I felt was about to make me combust.
“Oh, are you near or farsighted?”
“Neither.”
“Then why do you wear contacts?”
“They’re color contacts,” I said, wondering why Jesse had to be so observant. Of course I would be attracted to the one guy in the world so observant he probably remembered the color of the shirt I wore yesterday.
“But your eyes were so dark before. I couldn’t tell if they were dark brown or black.”
My shoulders rolled forward. I’d never had to explain it before. The few people who knew the actual color of my eyes didn’t ask why I wore dark color contacts; it just sort of made sense with the rest of me. “I like dark,” I said, wrapping the comforter tighter around me.
“I’ve noticed.” He hitched a leg up onto the bed and twisted to face me. Could someone, please, for the love of God, find the man a shirt? The whole encounter couldn’t be healthy for a girl’s heart. “It seems that preference for dark, or . . . black applies to your taste in guys, too.” Jesse tried to mask it, but the bitter note in his voice was obvious. “I’m hoping after tonight and what that guy did and said, you’ll change your mind.”
Just like that, I was reminded of a rather large something standing between Jesse and me. Someone who kept me from running my hands and lips all over him the way I wanted to.
“And I hope you’ll change your mind the next time you come talk all sweet and make flirty looks at me when your girlfriend’s a few rows behind us.” I’d never been very good at censoring myself, and that wasn’t the moment to change.
“Ah, perfect segue,” he said, looking . . . was that . . . relief?
“Perfect segue? Come again?”
“Josie isn’t my girlfriend.”
“Jesse?” I made a face. “I think you’re mistaking me for one of those girls cool with believing whatever you tell her.”
He smirked at me. “It’s the truth. Josie and I aren’t together.”
“Does she know that?” I asked. I knew what smitten looked like, and Josie had it just as bad, if not worse, as me.
“Yes.” He nodded so strongly his mess of hair fell over his forehead. “We broke up over six months ago.”
Wow. That was a serious case of WTF whiplash. “Wait.” I lifted my hands up. “You and Josie aren’t together anymore?”
“Isn’t that what I’ve been saying?”
I lifted an eyebrow and waited.
“No,” he said. “I am not with Josie. She is not with me. I’m not seeing anyone.”
How had I been so convinced otherwise then? Oh, yeah. “Then why did Garth . . ?”
“Because Garth likes to create controversy everywhere he goes,” Jesse said, his jaw tightening.
Create controversy everywhere he goes . . . yep, that pretty much hit the Garth nail on the head.
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried. And I tried. And I tried again. You wouldn’t let me.” He stared at me pointedly. “You remember any of that?”
I bit my lip and felt two inches tall. “Maybe a little bit.”
Jesse laughed and nudged my leg with his. His bare skin against my bare skin. I almost shuddered.
“How long were you two together?” I asked.
“Just over two years.”
“Why did you break up?” Even a possible reason was beyond me. The kind of girl Josie was matched the kind of guy Jesse was spot on.
Jesse stayed silent for a few seconds, playing with the corner of the quilt, then cleared his throat. “We just couldn’t be together anymore.”
How wonderfully detailed. “Anything else you want to add? Maybe the actual reason you couldn’t be together anymore?” I was prying, I knew that, but I didn’t back off. When it came to Jesse and Josie, I wanted that whole relationship tied up in a neat little bow.
“That’s not really my story to tell,” he said, shifting on the bed. “I promised Josie I’d never tell anybody, so the only way you’d be able to find out is from her.”
I recognized that flash of pain on his face. Betrayal.
“She broke your trust.” I felt a strange sense of protectiveness for Jesse. Josie had hurt him, betrayed him, and Jesse was the one person in the world I could say with absolute certainty didn’t deserve it.
“Well, yeah,” he said. Meeting my eyes seemed to be difficult for him suddenly. “But that wasn’t the main reason we broke up.” My nose wrinkled. That seemed like the “main” reason to end any relationship. Trust was a deal breaker. I should know. It had ruined every one of my relationships singlehandedly.
Jesse continued, “Everyone talks about how important trust is, and even though I agree, I’m not going to cut someone loose because they break my trust.” Just the fact he could say that meant people hadn’t broken his trust all that often. “We’re all going to break a person’s trust. That’s inevitable. As long as it doesn’t become a habit, I can forgive someone on a trust issue.” Jesse paused and looked as defeated as I imagined he could look. “I just couldn’t move past what happened. I knew I never would be able to, so it ended.”