I didn’t have the looks, the friendly aura, the sweet smile, and I sure as hell didn’t have the not-a-care-in-the-world outlook. In fact, what Jesse and Josie were, I was the opposite. I doubted I could get any more opposite if I tried.
I needed something to make me forget.
Or someone.
Lucky for me, I caught sight of Garth’s black felt hat bouncing above the gate. Sitting on top of one of those bulls.
My stomach barely had time to drop before the gate swung open, and out charged, I kid you not, the biggest bull of them all. He was the Zeus of the bulls, and dammit if he wasn’t out there proving it.
Garth’s body bounced and flailed about like a rag doll’s as Zeus kicked his back legs a few times before spinning. The bull had barely made a full revolution before Garth flew off. Well, it was more like ejecting. Everything about it was violent: the way his arms and legs grabbed at the air, the way his face looked, and the way his body slammed into the dirt. Nothing about this sport wasn’t brutal. Gentle was checked at the gates.
The bull stopped spinning as soon as Garth had been bucked off. He stood for a minute, his entire body heaving, as he and Garth seemed to have some kind of stare down. Just when I couldn’t decide who would be the first to charge, those crazy-ass clowns intervened and got the bull moving toward the open gate at the end of the arena.
The crowd applauded when Garth stood, but that only seemed to make him angrier. I’d seen plenty of shades of pissed, and Garth’s expression definitely made the top ten list. Stomping over to where his hat had landed, he dusted it off before settling it low onto his forehead.
Without so much as a wave or even a look of acknowledgement into the crowd that was still clapping for him, Garth powered out of the dirt arena.
I’d known zilch about bull riding coming into the rodeo, but I’d picked up enough to know his ride hadn’t made it to the buzzer. I wasn’t sure if that meant he received a reduced score or no score, but either way, I knew he wouldn’t leave with a shiny, new belt buckle.
I knew what failing was like. If I was an expert at anything, it was failing. I wasn’t sure if Garth wanted to see anyone right away, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. I’d seen enough bull riding for one night, and I certainly didn’t want to be in that seat when Jesse came back with a flushed face and a satisfied smile. No, thank you.
I was out of my seat and down the stairs in a flash. I didn’t know exactly where he’d be, but I headed in the direction of a bunch of cowboy hats bobbing above the gate on the opposite side of the arena. I was pretty sure one of those black ones had to be his.
I got a few curious looks as I wove toward the pack of cowboys with numbers on their backs. Maybe I was heading into an “off limits” area, but since no one stopped me, I kept going.
Ducking under a rope, I headed for a familiar back. Sporting his signature color on everything from his boots to his chaps, his body was still rigid, but he had a beer in his hands. All had to be somewhat well in the universe.
There was a good-sized crowd around Garth, all about the same age and sipping on their own beers, likely commiserating the woes of bull riding, when I stopped a few feet behind him.
“I don’t know who looked more pissed off out there,” I said. “You or the bull.”
Garth twisted around. He had a serious scowl on his face. That was, until he took one look at me. His eyes skimmed up and down me once, then repeated. When his eyes finished on mine, they were ice. “This is a rodeo, sweetheart. Not the circus.” His voice was just as icy.
I flinched. At least on the inside. It took everything inside of me to keep from wincing on the outside. “Excuse me, Garth I-can’t-stay-on-a-bull-for-longer-than-two-seconds Black? And thanks for remembering to leave me a ticket, ass**le.” I was about to spin away and get the hell out of there when a single chuckle rolled out of him.
“Rowen?” he said, like he couldn’t have been anymore dumbfounded. “Holy shit. I knew you were troubled, I just didn’t think this troubled.” He waved his hands up and down my way and shook his head. “I might be able to overlook the hot mess if you’re as freaky in bed as you dress.”
He wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t heard before, but he’d taken me by surprise. I was always on guard for those kinds of cruel words and nasty names, but I’d let that wall fall sometime recently. Each of his words hit me in a sore spot. Each of them would leave a permanent scar. That was why I didn’t let my walls down. Not even for a second because the moment I did, I was reminded why I’d built them in the first place.
Making sure those walls were back in place before I replied, I glared at him. “I knew you were a poser, I just didn’t realize how much of one until I saw that sorry excuse for a ride out there.” He might have known where I hid my emotional underbelly, but I guessed where he hid his, too. Rodeo. Winning. Proving he wasn’t a failure. Proving to himself and to everyone else.
From the expression darkening his face, I knew I’d hit the right spot. “Why don’t you get the hell out of here?” he said before pointing for the exit. “You’re confusing everyone.” He cupped his hand over his mouth and shouted, “No, people! It’s not Halloween! It’s just our resident freak who’s really letting that freak flag fly tonight!”
Shit. That would have done some damage if those trusty walls of mine weren’t back up. I’d known from the start Garth was one of those troubled, angry souls, but I never guessed he was the cruel, downright nasty type.