Sighing, I pushed myself off the wall and left the stall, stopping for a moment to wash my hands. In the mirror over the sink, I noticed some lipstick on my teeth and watched my cheeks flame with embarrassment. God, couldn’t I do anything right? I grabbed a tissue and wiped off the smudge, then angrily tried to rub off as much of the color as I could. Who was I kidding? I’d never been audacious a day in my life.
I tossed the tissue in the trash and left the bathroom, doing my best to hold my head high, even though all I wanted to do was curl up on my couch with a fuzzy blanket, the remote, and a box of Moose Munch.
At least Theo hadn’t left. He was sitting back at the table, and he stood when I approached.
“Hey,” he said, his mouth curving into a smile. “I thought I’d lost you.”
“Oh, she’ll never let you get away,” said Fran. “It took her too long to find you.”
I managed a wry smile, even though it sort of felt like a joke at my expense. “Sorry. I was in the bathroom.”
“Better not leave this one alone for too long,” teased Fran. “I noticed a lot of women checking him out.”
“I only have eyes for Claire.” Theo winked at me, but I was over this game.
“I’m actually not feeling very well. Are you ready to go?” I asked him as I picked up my purse from my chair.
“Of course. Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.” Not that you really care.
Turning to my colleagues who were left at the table, I said goodnight and told them I’d see them Monday. Without waiting for Theo, I began marching toward the coat check. I heard him say it was nice meeting them and he hoped to see them again soon—ha!—and felt his hand inside my elbow a moment later.
“Hey,” he said, gently pulling my arm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Even I was surprised at my poker face. “I’m just ready to go home.” His face fell, and for a moment I felt a twinge of doubt. Maybe he did care. But a second, later his expression was blank.
“Whatever you want,” he said. “You’re the boss.”
Right. And you’re my employee. The reminder of the exact nature of our relationship was enough to ground me solidly in reality. “We must be over the three hours, anyway.”
Theo looked at his watch. “Just barely. I didn’t even notice.”
“Time flies when you’re having fake fun.”
His brow wrinkled. “What’s going on with you?”
Dropping the icy facade, I felt my shoulders droop. “I just want to go home.” Before I fall apart.
“OK. I’ll take you.” Ever the gentleman, Theo retrieved my coat and held it up while I put it on. He even tipped the coat check woman and the valet driver who brought the car around.
“I’ll pay you back for that stuff,” I said, digging in my purse as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No, here.” I held up a ten-dollar bill.
“I don’t want it.”
“Take it,” I snapped, tossing the money onto his lap. For some reason, it bugged me that he was so nice. It would have been better if he’d been mean. Maybe not serial killer mean, but something other than what he was.
He glanced at me, but said nothing.
The two of us remained silent the entire ride home. I spent the twenty minutes chastising myself for all the dumb decisions that had led me to this humiliating episode, starting with lying to Elyse. I should have known better.
I peeked over at Theo a couple times, but I had no idea what he was thinking about. He just kept rubbing one finger along his lower lip, his expression grim, his jaw tight.
He pulled into my driveway, and I was about to get out when he put a hand on my leg.
“Claire.”
“What?”
“Did I do something to offend you?”
Yes. Made me think you could care. “No.”
“Was something wrong about the way tonight was handled?”
Jesus. Was he worried about his business? “Don’t worry. I’ll give you a glowing review, just like the rest of them.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you.”
“Ha.”
“Ha?”
“Ha!” I said again, louder this time. “Why would you be worried about me?”
“Because we’re…friends.”
“We’re not friends! We’re not anything! No, I take it back, we’re boss and employee right now, but in a minute when I go inside, we’ll go back to being nothing, and I’ll never see you again. It’s my fault for getting caught up in this stupid charade. For thinking something real was there.” Shut up, shut up, shut up! You’re only making it worse!
Theo threw the car in park, but left it running as he shifted in his seat to face me. “Is that what this is about?”
Wrapping my arms around myself, I stared straight ahead.
“Hey.” Putting his fingers beneath my chin, he forced me to look at him. “Talk to me, please.”
I jerked my head away. “No.”
“Why not?” His soft voice was breaking me down.
“Because I’m embarrassed.”
“About what?”
“About…what I just said. About what I almost did on the dance floor.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I almost kissed you.”