“Tall. Muscular. Brown hair, light brown eyes. Scruff. Big hands.” Nice ass.
She laughed. “You noticed his hands?”
My cheeks warmed. “I’m an artist. I notice people’s hands a lot.”
“But what’s he like?” Margot pressed. “Does he seem decent? Is he a gentleman?”
“He’s nice enough. A little arrogant, like you can tell he thinks he’s God’s gift to women, but also seems like he could be fun on a date. And he’s what I got, so…” I shrugged. “He’ll have to do.”
“Maybe it will be fun.” Margot tried hard to sound hopeful. I could tell she wasn’t sold on the whole idea, but she probably felt too sorry for me to say so.
“And at least you know you won’t have to worry about him pawing you all night, since he’s not allowed to touch you,” Jaime added.
“Right,” I said with relief, although secretly I thought it might be nice to have a guy like Theo want to paw me. “I hate those dates. But he doesn’t seem like that type of guy anyway. He led me to believe he’s usually on the end of the potential pawing.”
Jaime groaned. “Ugh, he’s one of those.”
“Just make sure you meet in a public place and don’t get into a car with him,” Margot warned. “You have to be careful.”
I picked up my Cosmo and took a much-needed drink. “I’m always careful.”
“Yes, but you’re also very trusting,” she said. “Too trusting sometimes.”
I sighed. “That’s what he said.”
“Theo said that?” Margot asked. “How would he know?”
“Was he judging you for hiring him?” Jaime demanded.
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t that. And he might have just been teasing me. Because he also said he knows why I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“What the fuck?” Jaime sat up taller in her chair. “I’d have punched him.”
“What on earth did he say?” Margot asked.
“Oh, something about my being scared to meet the perfect person because I don’t think I’ll measure up,” I said, trying to play it off like it was nonsense. “He said I was afraid of rejection, so I don’t really give anyone a chance.” I rolled my eyes. “Ridiculous, right?”
Neither of them answered quickly enough.
“Isn’t it?” I asked, panic invading my tone.
They looked at each other and then at me. “Well, it’s ridiculous that he said that to you,” Margot began, “but I’m not sure he’s completely off.”
“What?” I looked at Jaime. “What do you think?”
She looked nervous, which was rare for her. “I definitely agree he’s a dick for saying that to you, but I might want to hire him as a marketing strategist, because it seems like he’s really good at reading people in a short amount of time.”
“Seriously?” I looked back and forth between them. “You guys think he’s right? I haven’t fallen in love yet because I’m scared?”
“I don’t think that’s the only reason you haven’t found someone,” Margot said gently. “But I do think there’s some truth in what he said about you being afraid of rejection, so maybe you don’t give yourself a chance to fall in love. Like maybe you talk yourself out of it.”
“On purpose? Why on earth would I do that?” This was unbelievable!
Jaime shrugged. “It might not be on purpose. Sometimes I think our subconscious works against us or something. Your brain is like, Yes, I want to find someone so I’m going to go on this date, and your heart goes, But wait, this is scary and I could get hurt. So you look for things wrong with the person, reasons why they’re not the right one. We’ve all done it.”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to stay calm.
“I think it goes beyond dating, too,” Jaime went on. “You’re brilliantly talented, and for as long as I’ve known you, your dream has been to sell your artwork, or at least display it somewhere, but you haven’t done that yet, either.”
“I’m going to,” I said defensively. “Jeez, you guys.”
An awkward silence hung among us, which was rare.
Margot touched my hand, her blue eyes full of concern. “I’m sorry if we hurt your feelings. We didn’t mean to.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Jaime said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m an asshole.”
I took a shaky breath. “I’m OK. It’s just not terribly pleasant to hear that your friends—and a complete stranger, which means it’s probably obvious to everyone but me—think I’m sabotaging all my dreams because I’m a coward.”
“You’re not a coward,” Jaime said fiercely. “You’re just careful. But you’re also beautiful and wonderful and gifted and we just want everyone to know it. Be brave! Put yourself out there!”
“I hear what you’re saying. I just don’t know how to do that.” I frowned. “I wish I was more like my sister.”
Jaime rolled her eyes. “I said brave, not egomaniacal.”
I managed a small smile. “I’ll try.”
“You sure you’re OK?” Margot asked.
“Yes. Look, it’s not really anything I didn’t know—I’ve been a Nervous Nellie all my life. There’s a reason I don’t get on airplanes, horses, or motorcycles. I’m not a thrill-seeker. And normally I’m fine with it. I’m probably oversensitive right now because I feel like I’m surrounded by happy couples, and I’m the misfit. The odd one out.”