~CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE~
Colt
I can’t f**king believe I’m doing this.
I’m sitting outside Cheyenne’s dorm, waiting for her to come down so we can go see my mom. My f**king mom. Adrian’s only met her in person once. I don’t do this, but Mom’s been driving me crazy about it for the past three days. I can’t disappoint her over something as small as this.
Cheyenne and I are already playing the game. What’s adding another level to it? Another lie we can both play and pretend is really a good idea. I’m not stupid. I know it’s not, but I know when I touch her it takes me away and I really f**king need a mental break. To lose myself in her heat.
“Hey,” she says from behind me. I stand up and turn. Damn, she’s hot. Her legs are firm and now I know it’s because she danced. Of course she’s wearing a skirt because she may not realize it, but in some ways she really is a princess.
Heat scorches beneath my skin and I want to forget everything, take her back to her room and strip her. “Let’s go back to your room.” I take a step toward her, almost touch her but stop. This situation we’re in is so screwed up because it’s a lie and I don’t know how to act around her.
Fuck it. I let my hand slide under her shirt and grip her waist. “It’ll be a lot more fun to stay here,” I say against her ear.
“Colt.” It sounds like a warning, but she leans her head to the side to give me better access to her neck. I dip my tongue in the hollow spot behind her ear.
“Let’s go.” I pull her against me and let her feel the reaction my body has to her.
“Your mom is expecting us.”
I kiss a trail to her mouth. “No…I didn’t tell her yet. I figured I’d call on the way.”
This makes her tense and I’m sure it’s going to be one of those things girls make a big ass deal of when it really doesn’t matter. “Don’t do that. Come on.” I try to persuade her.
“You were taking me to meet your mom and you didn’t even tell her yet?”
Groaning, I pull away. “It’s not a big deal. I was going to call her before we went.”
“No. You never planned on going. You may think you did, but you didn’t.”
“I—” Don’t have an answer. I shouldn’t have to have one. “You’re acting like a girlfriend.”
She pushes me away. “You’re acting like a prick.”
Cheyenne tries to walk away, but I grab her wrist. She’s f**king right and I know it. “Wait.” And she does. Doesn’t turn around and I don’t speak right away. Finally I man the hell up and say, “This isn’t easy.”
Cheyenne turns and I can see it in her eyes. She gets its. It’s crazy how much this girl gets me. I don’t pretend to understand it or want to.
“But it’s important.”
I give a short nod. “I’ll call her in the car.”
We get in her car and I pull out my phone and call Mom. It takes a while for her to answer, but she always does.
“Hello?” her voice sounds raspy.
“Hey. I’m heading over. I have—I have Cheyenne with me. I just wanted to make sure you were home and not running around town.”
I hope for a laugh and get one. “I love you,” she says and I’m not sure why.
“I love you too, Mom. You’re good? If you want me to come alone—”
“—I don’t think so,” she interrupts me. “You’re not getting out of this, Colton. I can’t wait to meet her.” I’m not surprised when she hangs up.
“We’re good,” I tell Cheyenne and she starts the car. I give her directions to Mom’s place, my leg bouncing up and down the whole time. She didn’t sound good. When does she ever sound good? Am I doing the right thing or being the biggest f**king fraud in the world by lying to my dying mom about Cheyenne?
I glance over at her. She looks nervous too and I realize she probably has shit going on right now that I’ve been too big a prick to think about. “You good?”
She nods. I recognize it as the one I give when I’m really not cool at all. “This means a lot to me.” It’s the best way I can think to say thanks.
“I know.”
“Did you talk to your aunt?”
Cheyenne looks at me and gives me that smile I know knocks guys on their asses all the time. “This isn’t about me.”
“I’d rather it be.”
“I know that too.”
We pull up at Mom’s old apartment complex. “She doesn’t look good.”
“More things I already know.”
I can’t help but crack a smile. “And you say I’m an a**hole.” I pause for a few seconds. “You know she’s going to think you’re my girl, right? That she’s going to be gushing all over you because I’ve never brought anyone home and all she wants is—” I can’t finish the rest.
“I know.”
I feel like a pu**y because I’m actually cracking up here, but Cheyenne leans forward and kisses me. I lose my head to her like always, biting at her lip and sucking her tongue into my mouth. Christ, I want this girl. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone else.
Too soon she pulls away.
We get out of the car and I lead her to the apartment. “Looks like I’m the one asking you to play the game this time,” I say to her before opening the door.
Mom’s sitting in her wheelchair by the window when we get there. She has a hat on which she doesn’t do much anymore and I know it’s because of Chey. I f**king hate she has to meet the first girl I’ve ever brought home dying and with no hair.
I hate that I’m a f**king liar and it’s not even real.
My gut aches. I try not to breathe through my nose as we go inside.
“Hey, Mom. I found this girl outside. Do you know her?” I point at Cheyenne, who smacks my arm.
Mom shrieks, “Colton!” And I want to curse the name. How could I have spaced that?
My hand itches to grab Cheyenne’s. I don’t know if it’s because I’m cracking up here or because I want to play the part. It’s not something Mom would expect though, so I don’t.
“Mom, this is Cheyenne. Chey, this is my mom, Bev.”
“It’s very nice to meet you.” Cheyenne holds her hand out for my mom who shakes it.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Then she looks at me. “She’s gorgeous. What’s she doing with you?”
We all laugh. Cheyenne’s and Mom’s feel a lot more real than mine. I keep seeing her through Cheyenne’s eyes, this frail, dying woman, like that’s all she ever was. She doesn’t know the woman who used to work her ass off every day. The one who tried to get me to play every sport she could even though we couldn’t afford it, or kept going with no sleep after graveyard shifts at work to be there whenever I needed her.
The woman who loved to laugh and always told jokes and has a temper that makes her a good weapon to have on your side.
“Please, have a seat, Cheyenne.” Mom’s speaks softly, but I can tell she’s trying not to. Trying to sound normal.
“You don’t have to pretend to be nice to Cheyenne. She gives me hell all the time. She’s only showing you her good side.”
Cheyenne laughs and grabs my sides like she’s going to tickle me. I have no clue what she’s thinking because I’m definitely not ticklish, but still, I grab her arms and pull her toward me. Now she has her arms wrapped around my waist and we’re chest to chest. She’s laughing and I almost want to laugh with her. For a second it feels real and okay. The knot in my gut loosens and I’m not scared to breathe.
When I hear my mom sniff, I look down and see her eyes wet. I jerk away from Cheyenne and lean down. “Hey. Are you okay? Did something happen?” It doesn’t even matter that there’s f**king panic in my voice and Cheyenne is right here.
Mom looks at me. Touches my hair. My cheek. And smiles.
“Everything’s perfect, Colton.”
No. Everything’s a f**king game.
***
We’re driving back home and I can’t get the visit out of my head. Mom and Cheyenne were all f**king chummy and laughing. She stayed up longer than she has in a long time. She even got Cheyenne’s phone number, which I have to admit, I don’t like too much.
Which makes me feel like an ass, but I am an ass so might as well embrace it.
Toward the end she looked tired—so f**king tired she fell asleep the second I helped her back into bed. She’s lost more weight, her body feels so small, like a twig that if you step on will break in half.
“Come home with me.” The words weren’t planned, but I’m glad they came out.
“Your car—”
“Fuck my car.”
Cheyenne doesn’t reply, but she goes to my place instead of the dorm. It’s actually quiet when we get there. As far as I can tell, Adrian’s not even home, which is a huge shocker. The second the door’s closed I’m on her. Kissing her, my body tight against hers as I wedge her between myself and the wall.
Cheyenne’s hand tightens in my hair and she wraps her legs around my waist. I’m so hard, I’m not sure I can wait. I want her. I need her. My mouth doesn’t come off hers as I stumble down the hall with her in my arms. I kick the door closed behind me and slip a hand under her skirt.
Yeah I like her skirts. Easy access. And from the feel of things, she wants me just as much as I want her.
I lay her on the bed and clothes are coming off. There’s no talking. No laughing. Nothing but eager hands and sad eyes.
She’s so f**king sexy, all smooth skin and feminine curves. As screwed up as it is, I try to avoid her eyes. Don’t want her to look in mine either. Just want to feel her heat wrapped around me instead of the cold pain we both feel.
I grab a condom from my pants and rip it open with my teeth. I don’t want to think about or feel anything, but Cheyenne.