“What’s going to happen to him?” A shiver shook my voice, horror and desperation and worry.
“Don’t know, Grace. Only thing I know is that this is what he wanted. He’s ready to pay for his sins. Because of you. For you. Because you were the one who showed him that he does have good inside. That he has something better to offer this world than taking from it. And I can only thank you for that.”
He left me standing there with my tattered heart fluttering in the wind.
I knew all the scars that remained would be the one’s scarred by Ian Jacobs.
And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
* * *
“Ian Jacobs, you are hereby sentenced to a term of one year. A minimum-security facility is recommended.”
A gavel cracked against the wood.
Faith whimpered at my side, and Jace’s eyes squeezed closed, as if he couldn’t look at his brother being sentenced for what he had done.
Ian didn’t even flinch from where he was standing in front of the judge. No trial since he’d pled guilty.
Who knew how many years had been shaved off his sentence for his testimony against Reed Dearborne and Lawrence Bennet.
He just gave a short nod of acceptance and let the guard lead him away in cuffs with his head held high. Somehow both resolute and riddled with shame.
Not once in the last weeks had he talked to me, every attempt I’d made shut down.
You’re better without me.
Go.
Live your life.
So, my breath hitched when he paused to look back at me.
That energy lashed between us. The same as it’d always been.
Alive.
Fierce.
Powerful.
Though this time bogged by the most severe sort of sorrow.
Cinnamon eyes flashed, and I swore I heard him utter the words all over again.
Goodbye, Angel Girl.
All I could silently whisper back was, Thank you.
I had no idea where I would be without him.
He’d taught us so many things. He’d shown my heart what it really meant to love a man.
Wholly and fully.
He’d shown us what true sacrifice meant.
He’d lost everything, and in return, given us a second chance.
Joy.
Peace.
Ian Jacobs.
Our unexpected hero.
Forty-Five
Ian
The gate buzzed, and I stepped out into the late afternoon air. The air was hot from the summer heat, and I swore I could reach out and run my fingers through the heatwaves that sagged from the brilliant sky.
I blinked against it, the first time I’d seen outside a prison yard in six months.
Two steps away, and somehow the air felt different.
Half of my sentence had been shaved off for good behavior.
It almost made me want to laugh considering I hadn’t played partner to a whole lot of good behavior in my life.
But I was finished with that. After all the shit I’d gotten myself wrapped up in, there was no chance I’d go that route again.
Wouldn’t cause my brother worry.
Wouldn’t unwittingly cause people harm.
Never again.
I walked away from the penitentiary, wearing the clothes I’d worn on the day I’d been arrested.
Jace and Faith were standing at the side of their SUV, all kinds of anxious love and anticipation radiating from them.
Couldn’t help the one-sided smile that ticked up at the corner of my mouth when I saw them.
Jace stepped forward. What looked like amusement flitted across his face. “Well, well, well, if this isn’t bringing back some bad memories I’d rather forget.”
But there was no disappointment in his tone as he referred to the day so long ago when I’d picked his ass up after he’d been released from prison.
He’d gone for me.
Taken the fall for me.
All in his bid to protect me.
Because he was as selfless as they came.
We’d lost so much because of it. Because of our mother who’d made terrible choices. Had put us in unspeakable situations.
Part of me would never forgive her for what she’d done, but the other part would never forget her soft touch or the promise of her words.
Forever and ever.
“Guess I just wanted to be like my big brother,” I tossed out.
“You just wish you could be as cool as me,” he said, smirk riding onto his face.
“No wishing about it, asshole.”
I was grinning by the time I made it to him, and he pulled me into a tight hug. He clapped me hard on the back.
All the amusement bled away. “I am so damned proud of what you did, Ian. I know it wasn’t easy. That you lost everything because of it,” his voice nothing but quiet encouragement.
“I’d do it all over again. A hundred times,” I muttered back.
He hugged me tighter, and I just . . . let him. Let myself feel because I’d been refusing to allow myself to do it for too long.
Truth was, seemed the only thing I could do was feel anymore.
Grace had ensured that. Changed every-fucking-thing. Didn’t regret it for a second. Not for a moment. The only thing I regretted was that I couldn’t be better. Regretted that I couldn’t be right for them.
My name nothing but tarnish and blame.
Grace had tried to make contact with me multiple times over the months. I’d refused each time, praying she’d move on. Live the kind of life that she deserved.
But a letter had made it through. The one that felt like a million pounds where I had it shoved in the pocket of my pants. I itched, thinking about the words that had been scratched on the page, the letters crooked and messy and all in pink.
Ian-Zian, you’re invited to our party and it is the specialest party ever and the best one, too. Please come. We need you!
Love,
Mal Pal
Date was today. Gut told me it wasn’t a coincidence. They’d planned it, knew when I was getting out.
Just wasn’t sure I could stand in front of them now that all my sins were out there for the world to see. I mean, what kind of fucking influence would I be then?
I’d always known I wasn’t good enough to be in their space. Now they had the proof of it.
I’d given up everything for Grace and her kids.
Maybe it was some sort of fucked-up atonement. A worthless soul trying to make amends for the weight of all its wrongs.
The reason didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was she and her family were safe. They got to live the kind of life they deserved.
It was the one good thing I’d ever done.
Thought it was best to leave it at that.
Faith stepped forward and wrapped me in the welcome of her arms. Her sweetness all around. “Welcome home, Ian. We missed you.”
“Where are my sweet niece and nephew?”
God, how much I’d missed them, too. Another effect Grace had left etched on me.
Faith stepped back and held me by my forearms, smiling so softly it almost made me itchy. “We dropped them off at my parents’. All Bailey kept saying was she couldn’t wait for Uncle Ian to get home from his hunting trip. She can’t wait to see you.”
I choked out a laugh and shot an accusing glare at my brother. Asshole just shrugged. “What? Seemed like a plenty good explanation to me.”
I laughed it off, glancing between the two of them, no pretenses left to find. “Thank you for being here.”
Jace squeezed my shoulder. “We wouldn’t be anywhere else, man. Told you, I couldn’t be prouder of the man you are.”
I could hardly speak, so I just gave a nod as I climbed into the backseat of the SUV.
He started it, and he pulled out onto the rural road.
As the prison faded into the distance, a tension filled the air, the awareness that things were never going to be the same.
Like he’d become a partner to my thoughts, Jace glanced at me through the rearview mirror. “Know your life looks different now, Ian.”
I was no longer an attorney.
Disbarred.
With good reason.
Goals shot.
Thing was, it was all my doing. I’d been stepping on the wrong rungs when I’d been climbing that ladder.
Too much of a fool to realize I hadn’t been climbing at all.
I’d been a puppet. Played by a man who’d wielded too much power and possessed nothing but wickedness.