After everything, it still hurt when he said her name, like he was grazing my heart with the point of a dagger.
I shook my head and reached for his hands. “Let’s drop it, yeah? Let’s go back to the bed and breakfast and I’ll make us some tea. You can tell me if you like the furniture I added yesterday and we can pretend like this never happened, right?”
God, I was starting to sound desperate. I needed to pretend like there was no Allie and that Gianluca was the type of man who could love me if only I gave him enough time.
Sad, right?
To still pine for a man who’d told me time and time again that he didn’t fancy me like that. All my life I’d imagined myself a strong woman. I’d never let a man rule my life, had always been the one to walk away. I kept myself at a cool distance, and now suddenly I was more than happy to take any scraps Gianluca could spare, like a hungry stray.
He looked a bit pained as he nodded, like he wasn’t quite convinced, but it was
decided then. On the surface, Gianluca and I would stay the same. He’d tease me and I’d give it right back. He’d come around to the B&B and we’d spend our days together. We’d never go on official dates, but we didn’t need to. We had something better: a life together.
“Georgie, what’s that?”
I hummed and followed the path of his finger. A tiny white kitten sat on the steps of Il Mare, waiting for me. I’d seen it a few times over the last few days. The first time was the morning after Gianluca and I had our massive fight. I had thought it was a sign then, but I’d kept my distance in case it had a home. Several stray cats lived well in Vernazza, after all. But the day before, after struggling with what to do, I’d set out a bit of water and food, just in case. He hadn’t been there when Katerina had come round to drag me out for the night, but he was there now. He hopped up and started twisting in circles as we drew closer, excited to see me. I bent down, scratched behind his ear, and then picked him up in my arms.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to let him in for the night. It’s chilly out here, and he hasn’t got as much blubber as the others.”
“You can’t, Georgie. He’s got fleas.”
“No, I promise you he doesn’t.” I didn’t tell him I’d bought special shampoo and bathed the kitten the day before in the kitchen sink. “Mopsie just wants a warm place to sleep for the night.”
He didn’t bother fighting me as I opened the door and carried the cat inside. He was too focused on the name.
“Mopsie?”
I smiled. “He needed a proper name.”
“So let me know when he’s found one. How’s he supposed to go around and pick up lady cats with a name like Mopsie?”
“Why does he need lady cats when he’s got me?”
Gianluca laughed and shook his head, at a loss for words.
“You can keep him for a day or two, but then you’ll have to see about getting him a home somewhere else.”
I nodded, knowing by his retreat that Mopsie was as good as mine. Neither of us was alone in Vernazza anymore.
“Is that a litter box? Have you already been keeping this kitten with you?”
“Why isn’t that a coincidence…” (Yes, there was technically a litter box set up on the first floor, but I was going to move it somewhere away from the guests before Taylor arrived in the morning.)
“And there are toys everywhere…”
Just a few trinkets. Kittens need stimulation, after all.
“Georgie…”
“Hey, don’t look at me—Mopsie picked everything out himself! Now come on, let’s go to bed and we’ll talk it over in the morning.”
Really, I couldn’t bear another argument. I needed Gianluca to follow me into the bed and breakfast and come into my room. I needed tangible proof that we were back to normal. I set the kitten down with a few toys inside my room and then dimmed the lights. Moonlight streamed in from the window as I tugged my dress overhead. Gianluca was there immediately, stroking his hand up the side of my body, over my waist and ribs. His touch was feather-light, as if he were nervous to scare me away. I was glad to be facing away from him so he couldn’t see my eyes squeeze shut or the look of heartbreak on my face. His fingers gripped me tight and pulled me back against him. There was no better feeling than being wrapped in his arms and I could almost convince myself he was about to make love to me.
It truly felt like it. He swore he missed me, saying it in English and Italian so many times that I believed him. His mouth and hands were everywhere, moving over me with a sort of greed that convinced me I’d done the right thing. I couldn’t stand how good it was, how excruciatingly painful it felt to have his mouth on mine again. He kissed me slowly and passionately as I dragged my hand up to cradle the back of his neck. I pulled him closer and his mouth moved over mine, kissing me hard and not pulling away until I was nearly breathless. We weren’t good at everything together, but we’d mastered this.
He pushed me back onto the bed, pulling my panties down with a sharp tug. He worked on his jeans, unzipping them quickly and then spreading my thighs on the bed. He crawled back on top of me, using his knees to keep my thighs split as he slid inside, spreading me as I cried out.
It was different than before—frenzied. He pulled back and held my hips and thrust back into me. I’d never been taken like that before, over and over. It was pain and it was bliss, agony and ecstasy. He held me hostage, possessing me body and soul.