“You’ve got two left feet, Katerina!”
She turned back to me and I realized I had a genuine smile on my face for the first time in days.
“Hate to say it, but you’re not much better!”
I laughed and tried to shimmy my upper body, doing a few silly moves to jokingly convince her of my dancing ability. I truly was terrible. Other girls knew how to move their bodies so well. I moved around like a stiff gran, scared to slip a disc.
“Drinks!” Paolo shouted over the group, holding up his empty glass. “Who’s thirsty?”
“G and I will get this round!” Katerina said, taking my hand and dragging me through the crowd. We weren’t far from the bar, but it still took us a while to cut through everyone. It was loud and overwhelming, but I liked it. Being in the bar overwhelmed all my senses, temporarily drowning out the sensation of a broken heart.
Katerina was leaned forward over the bar, shouting her order to the bartender when a cool breeze forced the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. I shivered and looked over my shoulder, scanning the crowd. There were dancing couples and rowdy groups of tourists. I watched a few girls shout in unison, clink their shot glasses overhead, and then down them with looks of mirthful disgust. Their groans and shudders made me smile.
Katerina nudged my arm to alert me that our drinks had arrived, but I was frozen in place, staring at the front where the bar spilled out into the street. There, standing in the fringe, was Gianluca, cast in the hazy yellow light of the street.
HE WAS AN absolute dream in his black t-shirt, jeans, and boots. His hair looked dark and damp, his eyes a few shades darker. His hands were stuffed into his jean pockets and he was staring straight at me, his expression indiscernible from that distance.
My stomach squeezed tight as I blinked, just to be sure it was him that was attracting the stares of every woman he passed. He’d begun to weave toward us through the crowd and I felt sick. I wasn’t ready to see him; I hadn’t collected my thoughts and composure. I had been hoping to have a few more days for my head and my heart to compare notes.
Katerina shook my arm, pointing to the drinks on the bar. She needed help carrying them. She hadn’t spotted Gianluca yet and she was complaining that I’d gone catatonic on her. I opened my mouth to tell her he was there, but I couldn’t seem to form the words.
My hands shook as I grabbed the three beers. I focused on them as we weaved through the crowd, so anxious that Gianluca would come up behind me I jumped out of my skin when a girl accidently bumped into me. In the end, we reached the group at the same time. Everyone cheered when they saw him, excited to see their friend. I couldn’t force myself meet his eyes.
Having finished dancing while we had been away, they were back to sitting in a circle and chatting. I handed off the beers and took my seat beside Katerina again. Someone found a seat for Gianluca and he sat down across from me, so far away I’d have to shout if I wanted to talk to him.
I could feel several eyes trained on me. Katerina and Massimo’s flicked over to me repeatedly like I was a teetering Jenga tower ready to crumble. I straightened my spine and forced a smile in a concerted effort to disappoint them, then turned to Paolo and goaded him into telling another story.
Gianluca and I were neck and neck in a competition for who could be the quietest in the group. Sofia tried several times to bait him into conversation, but he offered up one-word answers and sipped the beer Katerina had passed to him.
Tonight calls for beer.
It felt so miserable sitting there and pretending Gianluca and I were complete strangers. We were acting as though nothing had ever happened between us, good or bad, and the longer the night continued, the angrier I became. Why had he even bothered coming? Surely Massimo had told him I’d be here. He couldn’t come round to collect his tools, but he could come out and ruin the mood of the entire group? Well, I suppose he was only ruining my mood, which was admittedly not filled with sunshine to begin with. Everyone else was continuing on with their night like there wasn’t this massive elephant in the room, but I couldn’t do it. I handed my still-full beer to Katerina and went to find the loo. I suspected Gianluca might follow after me, but he didn’t. I queued forever, went in to wash my hands, and then went back to the group. Gianluca wasn’t there when I returned; Katerina pointed to the bar, where he and Massimo were talking animatedly.
“Are you upset that he’s here?” she asked in a hushed tone. “Because we can leave if you want.”
I shook my head, trying to play the role of the cool girl. If Gianluca could sit in a group and face me, then I would show him that I wouldn’t go running off either.
A little while later everyone decided to migrate to a restaurant down the street for a late-night meal. I stuck close to Katerina and Paolo pulled Gianluca ahead, going on about some work that needed to be done at the farm. I wanted to shout at him, shake him, shove him, something. I needed to know what he was thinking, how the last few days had been for him. Was he missing me or was he glad to have the separation?
There was only one restaurant in Corniglia still open and they didn’t have much room for a group our size. They put us at a few tables outside, pushing them together so we’d all fit. I took a seat in the middle, silently daring Gianluca to take the seat beside me, but Paolo and Katerina swooped in first and I stifled a groan. Gianluca pulled out the chair at the head of the table and an overwhelmed waiter went round to pass out menus to everyone. I ordered an orange juice, too anxious to munch on anything of substance, but Katerina promised me I could nibble on her pasta.