“Sure, no worries. Let me make sure you can get into a taxi okay.”
A flash of disappointment crosses his features so briefly, I’m sure I imagined it.
I shake my head. “The valet outside will help me.” He’s still naked, with the weight of his heavy cock hanging between his legs. “I’ve got this.” Heading to the door, I heft my purse strap higher on my shoulder.
His fingertips curl around my wrist just as I’m about to open the door, and he turns me to face him. “Tonight was—”
“I know.” I have to stop him; I can’t hear him say that it was the best, most amazing night of his life, because I know it was for me. I can’t hear him say that and walk away, just to work alongside him tomorrow like this never happened. It’s best to turn around and leave, so that’s what I do.
Moving as though I’m trapped in a deep fog, I put one foot in front of the other, and then I’m in the elevator under the harsh lights.
All the gray murkiness fades away once I’m standing outside on the curb, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
I love him.
The way Sterling’s scared to believe in love, but still wants to, the way he takes care of his mother, the rough gravelly sound of his voice when we made love, the way he listens to all my opinions and nods, the way he pleasures me like no one else has . . .
I fucking love him.
And I’m terrified about what will happen tomorrow.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sterling
After rushing home this morning to shower and change, I’m now back at the Waldorf Astoria hotel.
A line of women is wrapped around the side of the building, and I have to instruct my taxi driver to pull around to the back, where I’m let in through a housekeeping entrance so I don’t get mobbed. I also have no interest in stopping for questions with the reporters and camera crews who are waiting and interviewing the women.
I head inside, anxious to see Camryn. I barely slept last night after she left. I thought about going home too, but when I lay back down on the bed, the sheets were still scented with her, and some part of me was afraid to leave, afraid that this would all be forgotten once I left.
She never responded to my text when I told her good night, and between that and the hurried way she rushed off, I’m worried about how she’s doing.
I’ve racked my brain and can’t come up with anything that I’ve done to push her away. She’s the one who told me actions speak louder than words, and so I’ve tried to show her what she means to me. Introducing her to my mum, trying to remove the stress of her bills, wanting to spend the night with her, those were all ways I’ve tried to show her that I value her and want her in my life. If I can just talk to her this morning, maybe I can get her to understand that.
At last, I reach the second floor, and see Camryn and Anna seated at a banquet table at the entrance to a large ballroom.
Camryn is dressed smartly in a black suit and a frilly lace camisole. Her hair is twisted in a no-fuss bun, and she looks beautiful. It makes my chest ache just looking at her.
When I approach, I expect Camryn to rise from the table and give me a hug, but she keeps her head down, leafing through a stack of head shots in a folder.
“Morning,” I say to Anna, wondering what’s with the sudden change in mood.
“Hi, Sterling,” Anna chirps brightly. “Are you ready to find your wife today?”
My mouth goes bone dry, and my stomach does a flip. “Ah, sure.”
Anna breaks into an easy grin, as if I’ve just said something funny. “Today will be great. I promise. Don’t look so worried.”
I give her a nod. Finally, Camryn looks up at me and seems to study my expression, her eyes narrowing.
“Can I have a word?” I ask.
Without a sound, she rises to her feet and I follow her into the massive ballroom. A huge chandelier hangs from the center of the room, dripping in crystal, and the brightly patterned carpet in creams and blues screams of elegance. I’m sure it’s been used for joy-filled celebrations like wedding receptions and inspiring business conferences, but today it feels cold and empty.
“Once they open the doors outside,” Camryn says, “this will be the holding room for all the candidates. Then once we’ve had a chance to screen them, they’ll be sent over to the room where you’ll be in down the hall for a five- to ten-minute mini-date.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I say.
When Camryn turns to face me in the center of the room, my first instinct is to pull her into my arms and kiss her, but she’s acting so cold and aloof this morning, and she left in such a hurry after sex. I’m not sure my affections will be welcome.
Stuffing my hands in my pockets to keep myself from touching her, I take a deep breath. I realize what I need to do. I just need to get through today. There’s a line of women wrapped around the damn building, taking up a city block. Needing a little more time to come up with a plan, I decide I’ll play along for now.
“We need to talk after this,” I say.
Camryn nods. “Fine. We’ll break at eleven forty-five for lunch. We can talk then.” And with that, she turns and walks back out of the ballroom.
“Cami?” I call.
She looks at me over her shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Where do you want me?”
“Just down the hall, past the restrooms and the fake plant thingy . . . you’ll see it. Good luck.” And then she’s gone.