Camryn’s head is resting on my chest, and she lets out a sleepy sigh. I hold my breath, unsure if I’ve somehow woken her, but she merely shifts, nestling in closer.
We crawled under the sheets naked after making love. I look around the room and see that our clothes are still scattered on the floor, evidence of our hurried lovemaking, and two empty glasses still rest on the dresser. Part of me still can’t believe she agreed to come up here with me tonight. I figured my idea of reserving a room would be a waste of three hundred dollars, but I was dead wrong.
But what happens next?
The doubt begins to creep in, as do thoughts of my mum. All the plans I made will go to shit if I say fuck it and refuse my inheritance.
I’ve never known a love so pure, so real, and so right. And that’s what I can have with Camryn. I feel it. Deep inside me. When we’re together, we’re magic. Our personalities, our goals, everything matches. And the mind-blowing sex we just had? That sealed the deal.
But at the same time, what we share scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I spend my days watching couples end their vows. I hear all the stories of infidelity, and even worse are the stories of those who just grew apart. There are no guarantees when it comes to love. Sure, we all try our best, but it’s a fucking crap shoot.
Just when I thought I had clarity, things feel more confusing than ever.
I tighten my arms around Camryn, wanting to punch the voice inside me in the fucking face that whispers this could just be for tonight.
I may not be sure of my future, but I know if I do marry, I want it to be for love and not money.
There’s no road map for where things are headed between us, but when I think about what Camryn brings to my lonesome days—her sweet smiles, her laughter, the unexpected warmth—I know I’m not letting her go.
While we haven’t discussed everything yet, she has shared some of the things she wants out of life. I know she wants kids, and I can picture it all, a little girl with her wild, thick waves and spark of fire in her eyes.
I’m terrified I’ll mess it up, but when I think about her smart, level head, her passion for hard work, and her loyalty, anything feels possible. I feel confident that with her by my side, I can have it all. I just have to figure out how.
I run my hand along the bare skin of her back and feel her shift as she wakes up, blinking at me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Camryn
I’ve just awoken after the most amazing sex of my life. Sterling was so attentive, so giving and loving, and I was so lost in the moment, but now I’m freaking out a bit.
“Cami?” he says groggily, sitting up beside me. “Is everything okay?”
I give him a curt nod but the truth is, I’m not sure.
I rise from the bed, tugging the sheet with me to try to preserve some of my modesty, since I’m butt naked. But of course it’s tucked into the ends of the mattress like it’s locked in a vise grip. Seriously? Why do hotels do that?
I drop the sheet and heave in a deep breath. Sterling’s just going to have to see the dimples in my butt and the extra flesh on my belly. But hey, he totally encouraged that cake. He’s a cake pusher. Cake pushers can’t judge you for a little extra flab. That’s like a rule.
“Cami?” he asks again.
“Just a minute.”
I pick my dress up off the floor and head into the bathroom, where I close the door behind me. The fluorescent lights are much too bright, and I squint at my reflection. Just-fucked hair and sleepy eyes stare back at me.
When the fuck did he start calling me Cami?
Cami is much too intimate. Cami is a girlfriend. Someone you watch football with on Sundays while scarfing down an entire bacon pizza. But I don’t even know if Sterling likes American football. He probably watches soccer. I shake my head, trying to force away the fragmented thoughts in my brain.
I slip my dress over my head, realizing that I have nothing to wear underneath it after Sterling’s tights-ripping stunt.
After using the restroom and splashing cold water on my cheeks, I try to compose myself before facing Sterling again.
When I exit the restroom, Sterling’s sitting on the end of the bed, and he looks up at me with an encouraging smile.
“You sure you’re okay, love?” he asks, his voice soft but steady.
I gulp down a sigh and nod again. The mood in this hotel room has changed drastically in the last five minutes. I was worried about sex changing things between us, and I was right. Things feel different—more complex and cloudy. There are now layers of gray lurking between our once-happy friendship and playful banter.
Shoving my bra in my purse, I slip my bare feet into my heels.
“You’re leaving?” he asks, rising to his feet to stand before me. “I thought we’d stay the night . . .”
The gleam in his eyes also says he thought we might fuck again later, but there’s no way that’s happening. The need to escape is far too great.
“I can’t tonight. I need to make sure I’m ready for tomorrow,” I manage to say, my voice shaky.
He nods swiftly. “Right. Tomorrow. Of course.”
The truth is, I need to be in my own space, need to process this. And I can’t wake up next to him and then head off to the recruiting event together. No way. I still can’t believe we went all the way tonight. I have no idea where his head is at. Maybe it was just a bucket-list thing on his part—all I was to him was one last hurrah before he has to tie the knot.
“I hope you understand,” I add.